caught boyfriend looking at porn?

Question

i've been with my partner for 10 yrs and he always secretly looks at porn on the computer when i'm not home but i caught him yesterday wanking in front of it, i dont know what to do, he promised me a few weeks ago he would'nt look at it again

to answer to forth one down we have a great sex life

Answer 1

Congratulations. He's straight.

Answer 2

2

Answer 3

First off. You CAN NOT expect a guy to not look at porn.
Doesn't mean he isn't happy with you or doesn't love you or doesn't think your sexy.

The fact is guys are guys, and guys will be guys. Guys like looking at hot chicks (or guys or animals or whatever way they roll.) They have 'spread the seed' urges. Guys also like touching themselves from time to time, no matter how hot their girlfriend is.
Porn is a healthy outlet for that - I mean, its that or randomly hook up with other real people!

The best thing I can suggest for this... become comfortable with it. If both your needs are being fufilled then just tell him its ok and let him do it. Ask him to be a little less secretive about it maybe, as being more open will probably help you both get used to it.

And if youre still uncomfortable with it... start using the wonderful thing that is the internet, put together a stash of your own, and put it to good use when HE'S not around ;)

Know what youre going through. When I first caught my bf, I felt horrible, like I wasnt satisfying him or like he thought the girls on the net were hotter. But after doing the above things, got over it.

Oh, and buy a toy. With a toy around, you probably won't give a **** what he looks at.

Answer 4

Try looking at porn with him to see just what it is he's got going on and see if he is willing to include you or if it is something he prefers to do on his own. After you've done this you'll be in a much stronger position to negotiate the parameters of your relationship with him. I am assuming that you and your boyfriend are young. Most men grow out of porn as they mature. I am also assuming that what bothers you more is the fact that he promised not to and went ahead and did it anyway.

Answer 5

with some people Porn is a passing phase which usually starts as curiosity. However, some people have obssessive personalities and become addicted to it rather quickly and easily. So from that respect, it can be an illness. The worst part of the illness is how it can affect relationships. There is absolutely nothing positive that come out of it.

Tell him...get help.... or you will have to reconsider the relationship.

Answer 6

Why does he think that the porn is more exciting than you? Ten years is a long time, maybe you need to spice up the sex life a little. Start talking to him and find out what turns him on the most and try to put that into your sex life. You might try watching the porn with him once in a while. It can spice up your sex life. There are all kinds of porn out there. Maybe the two of you can find something that you both like. My husband and I watch porn movies that have a story plot that goes with them. To me it is more of a turn on than just raw sex. He is not a bad person because he watches porn and you would not be a bad person either.

Answer 7

A guy watching porn is the same thing as a woman reading one of those romance novels----it has the same effect on the brain.

Porn is not good because of what it can lead to---but if you are one of those women that read the romance novels then you have to give your man a break because you are doing the same thing. Well, you weren't wanking on anything but you get the picture.

Answer 8

It's a sad fact of life that boys will always look at porn - I don't think it CAN be stopped. To get him to promise that he won't look at porn is good for you, however it was definitely going to be a promise that he would be breaking right from the start. I think you're just going to have to accept the fact that he's going to look - as long as he doesn't put unfair expectations on you, I don't see how it could affect your relationship.

Answer 9

May i ask you, why is it a problem for you that he looks at it ? I remember a time in my life when stuff like that bothered me too, but now as i am older, it doesn't. I actually found myself behaving with anger and disgust at such porn sites or mags because i was taught thats what your suppose to do,( so my mom says) I found out with an ex boyfriend of mine, that it can be a very exciting event for both as long as we are both involved. And eventually, its no longer a problem if he looks at it alone . It's better he does that than act out those fantasies with other people.

Answer 10

He is probably just like every other red blooded american man, he is addicted to it. Most men enjoy porn. My husband has always looked at porn. At first I was bothered by it, but now, it doesn't bother me at all. I figure, he is home getting his jollies, not out bringing home some disease. I also realized that most men have a much higher sex drive than we do. The only part that bothers me about this, is he promised you not to do it anymore. I think thats a promise that is hard for an addict to keep. I think if it were me, I would just forgive the fact that he broke the promise, and let him "****" away.

Answer 11

The age old porn question. Sorry to say that he will never stop looking at porn. That is what men do, the sooner you realize that the better off you will be. It used to bother the sh*t out of me when my boyfriend look at that crap, but I eventually had to get over it, they are born that way. We love shoes, they love porn!