Opinion on a particular circumstance?

Question

Now i dont mean to offend anyone but as i can see from general life today it always seems to be women who are mostly talking behind peoples back. I am not generalising so please dont complain. I see it at work day in day out- people especially women talking behind other workers and friends back. I am not being sexist and do not cause any offence to anyone but just want to understand why people do it. I hate people talking behind other peoples back and dont do it myself - have heard this kind of bitchy ness at work sooooooooo much about others - i dont like it.
Yesterday, i left my cassette recording accidentaly as i was producing a tape on how to use software for future staff on my desk whilst i went to file a few reports, i forgot about the tape, but when i listened to it - you can clearly hear names and opinions being made by these women about several of their colleagues and friends - should i openly surprise the whole office with this? lol

Answer 1

you could speak to each person in turn and explain that its not good policy to talk about other members of staff. or you could just announce it. or you could just ignore it

Answer 2

hey, guess what? People gossip. Men will still do it, even if they dont feel comfortable doing it in a business setting where they can be overheard. Gossip is the engine that drives a lot folks simply because thier lives are not full enough through other outlets.
Playing your tape will probably not get the results you want.
Understand that gossip will not go away, it will just move to a different format or place in the office. Obviously it has not had enough negative impact to change the way your company does business, and if you play your tape, it will. Can you predict what that change will be?
Can you put yourself in a position to influence those who are responsible for gossip? Yes. You already have, or else you would have heard all of that in person instead of having to tape it. You may have already constructed a 'no gossip zone' that exists only when you are present. Are there others like you? What are their thoughts on this subject?
Please understand that unless actions follow gossip it is considered a harmless but maddening by product of people that work together, and try not to put too much stock in what is said. It is what is done that defines individuals.
To play your tape will illuminate you, but only in reference to this gossip.

Answer 3

In my experience, most people will gossip about others for one reason. There is an inadequacy in their own life, they have low self-esteem, or are unhappy about matters in their own circumstances. They will then look for other peoples faults, put them down verbally or gossip, to make themselves look better in their own eyes.
I think you should play the tape for everyone, being discriminate about it. Maybe some will realize how they sound and how hurtful what they say sounds. It might open a few eyes, it might give the people being talked about some insight as to how others see their actions. It might even give certain people the chance to discuss their feelings in an open adult fashion.
If something is especially hurtful on the tape, I would discuss the matter with the person who was being gossiped about before playing the tape. They may not want you to play that portion of the tape.
I applaud you for your stand against gossip. It takes a much bigger person to walk away when gossip starts, than for someone to stand there and listen.

Answer 4

Hahahahaha...sorry this sounds funny even tough it is not. I agree with you. I personally have more male friends than female ones (I'm not homosexaul) because of the same reason.

It think that you should probably go to talk to your boss and he/she can solve this issue in a professional setting, during a company meeting or something like that, bacause that bothers.

I also think that is very natural to be a little gossip or curious about certain things, but to talk behind your friends' backs is just a so low-life attitude...

Although I would really enjoy seeing their faces when they hear the tape...that would be a great idea for my office :)

Answer 5

well I'd like to say most times discretion is the better part of valor, what happened may not have been on purpose but may be illegal.and if you play it they will be mad at you then who will they be talking about . On the other hand if they have caused some one harm by what they have said about that person wrongly accusing them of some thing or like lieing or making up things just to put some one down and if that person was passed over for a raise or ect, set them up where they expose them self's for what they are .in general these people that do that kind of thing men do it to ,are weak and stupid and afraid ,point 1 the truth always comes out one way or another point 2 they don't need to know you know . like the cowboys would say in the old movies head them off at the pass from the high ground.

Answer 6

I agree with you, it is bad and it is sometimes out of office politics which I personally hate.

But, I may say a lot is due to boredom obviously in your office they do not have enough to do.

Also it could be the type of society we live in where everyday we see and hear media gossip about so called celebs like the Beckams (who really cares about their lives anyway) and use he same tact on Friends, relatives an colleagues

Answer 7

No it's human nature to winge and whine. Makes the world go round. Everyone is entitled to an opinion. You have yours. This pastime is not only owned by women. Plenty of men winge and whine too. It's healthy, prevents stress build up and lightens the day as long as it is not malicious and repeated when it should stay private. Now that would be a malicious act would it not? Men don't do that do they?

Answer 8

I would anonymously leave the tape with a note to "Play during break". That ought to fix them.

As a woman, I agree with you. That is one thing I hate about being around the self-absorbed "female office clique". Many women I know don't have time for that crap either.

Answer 9

There a million ways to spy on each other these days, who cares? All of us women always *****, men on the other hand are brighter as we can use that to an advantage. I honestly wouldn't want to hear what people say about me and believe it or not i do already lol

Answer 10

Yes,and speaking as a woman, women don't have anything better to do and it amuses people to talk about other people or listen to gossip. Its interesting and people that listen to gossip are as much to blame, I don't like gossip, but, I do listen to it, which that is bad too. Also, speaking as a feminist, its in women's nature to spread gossip, true or not!