my gramma has beliefs that r diff than mine. actually my whole family has these beliefs. basically they revolve round sexual preference, woman's rights in tha chruch ext...it's getting so annoying. whenever i tell them my beliefs they tell me i'm goin to hell unless i convert to their beliefs. whut a crock! how can i tell my family nicely that i refuse to convert to there beliefs. my families beliefs may differenciate from mine, but tha relgion we have diff beliefs bout is Christianity.
2007-01-16 07:39:47 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Try this:
"Mom, Dad, as much as I respect you as my parents and my family...I will respect your right to follow your beliefs as you see fit. I would hope that as your son, your unconditional love for me will allow me the same respect to not follow your beliefs."
Just a thought.
2007-01-16 07:45:07 · answer #1 · answered by DEATH 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In family, work, and school situations, you might be better off if you emphasize your similarities to other people and the beliefs you share, rather than your differences. Do you want to get along, or just fight all the time over your differences?
It's best not to give other people unsolicited advice or criticism. It's just good manners. It's the best guide to follow when dealing with others, if you actually want to live in society. And when they ask for advice, you have to figure, do they want advice or do they just want to be reassured they're doing the right thing.
If someone asks me my opinion about something they're thinking of buying, I'll tell them my honest opinion. If they show me something they've already bought, my answer is quite different. I'll reassure them they did the right thing.
The exception is when they could be setting themself up for grave bodily harm!
2007-01-16 16:02:36 · answer #2 · answered by Keith T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a similar problem. My wife and her mother are religious (catholic) but not to the extreme. I however do not believe that there is a heaven or hell and that all people are put on this earth for a reason.
I do believe that there is a higher power or energy or something that did create the universes and the planets and everything that is on them, and I do believe that science is correct when they theorize that the human species evolved from bacteria that landed on this earth millions of years ago.
We get into some deep discussions about religion and it usually comes out to be a tie. I agree that they are entitled to their opinion on religion, but I don't agree with their opinion. I do not tell them that they are wrong, but I also don't tell them that they are right.
"I believe what I believe and you believe what you believe, yes they may be different, but that is what makes us special. So without fighting about who is right and who is wrong, lets just say that both of us are right."
Sometimes this works, and other times it doesn't. I have been told that if I don't believe in the same god that they do, then I will not go to heaven. I respond with this, "what about the millions of people that are not catholic, are they all going to hell, because they don't believe the catholic religion is right?"
I also tell them that I don't know who is right because there are some good things in each religion, but I don't agree with some of the other things, so I cannot devote myself to believing in only one religion. Until I can understand each and every religion to the point that I can say that I do not agree with their point of view, I cannot rule out the fact that one may be right over the other.
Do your best, and if you feel that everytime this subject comes up, tell them that this conversation only leads to an argument, and you do not feel like having this discussion right now. If they insist on pushing you to believing what they believe, then ask them "Why do you want to force something on me that your religion has fought so hard in not having forced on them?" and if they ask what you mean, explain that the Jews tried to get the catholics to convert to their religion because they didn't agree with what was being said and look what happened. Catholics were scorned and killed for not believing in something that was being forced on them.
Good Luck as it isn't an easy battle to fight. But the best way to defend yourself is by not trying to get into an argument about religion in the first place, but if you have too, stick too your guns and don't let them change your mind.
2007-01-16 16:00:19 · answer #3 · answered by Joel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Dude,
I think Just_ine gave you a sound piece of advice. I was in yr very same situation at a very young age as well (15). There were minor conflicts at the beginning when I expressed my beliefs and "other issues" but things worked out. Good luck.
2007-01-16 16:03:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For your situation there may not be a polite or nice way to tell your family you refuse their beliefs. It sounds as if they get defensive and are ignorant to what christianity really teaches.
I have a friend who is dating someone in a similar situation. His partner's family is part of a born again christian group who know nothing about true christianity.
2007-01-16 15:49:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read Richard Dawkins's book "The God Delusion". he deals with this issue as well as many others. No-one has the right to tell you what you can and can't believe. If your family loves you, they will accept you for who you are - acceptance and tolerance were, I thought, the basic tenets of Christianity. If they can't accept you you will have to make a few decisions. Whatever you do, leave the door open. They could well change their minds later,
2007-01-16 18:27:57 · answer #6 · answered by tentofield 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there will be a easy way. although your just going to have to seriously sit them down and tell them how it is. They will not like it. If they are so head-strong in there religion it will prolly cause a fight but at least it will be off your chest and then the next step (healing and realizing) can begin.
2007-01-16 15:46:06 · answer #7 · answered by digitaldancer22 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You talk to them and tell them that you respect them and their beliefs,and that you are your own person and you have your own mind and that if ever you want to convert to their beliefs it's because it was your decision and that you study and believe in their religion.
And unless they respect your decision, you won't consider what their asking you. But whatever you decide you hope that they respect you,because they love you.
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2007-01-16 21:52:25 · answer #9 · answered by hard N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not tell them.....some things are best kept hidde in bosom...
2007-01-16 15:45:06 · answer #10 · answered by s g 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋