that I want to be a better wife/friend/partner? What I mean is - we have been going through a lot of stuff lately - including almost breaking up. I think I have been nagging him too much, behaving like I didn't trust him and his love for me, not giving him enough space, being too needy and maxing out the credit card because I thought he was lying to me about stuff big and small. I am taking responsibility for my part in making him unhappy with me. I'm ready to change. But, is there something I can say to him that will make him believe in me again? I know actions are better than words, but I would like to say something that shows I am heading in the right direction? I feel like he is still on the fence about the relationship and I want to tip things more towards it working out....
2007-01-16 07:18:38 · 8 answers · asked by Kelli S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Enough has already been "said"! Time now for action! Show him you've changed!
2007-01-16 07:26:52 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust is built. It takes a long time, especially if it has been broken.
Don't just tell him you will change, tell him HOW you are going to change, tell him your plan, and make sure you perform every step as good or better than you promise.
The only way to create trust is to build it by not breaking trust.
If you break trust, ever, then you must start over, from the beginning.
Sorry, no way to jumpstart it, but you can build it back up with consistent actions that demonstrate you are once again worthy of that trust.
Trust is earned. It's not something instant you get from the microwave or a fastfood joint.
2007-01-16 17:13:18 · answer #2 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actions always speak louder than words. It is very hard for people to change their habits much less their personalities. Show that you can help undo some of those things that made him mad at you, but remember it is a two way street, he should have to make changes too. There is a reason you are feeling jealousy and you need to address it. I think the best way to do that is to have a very frank and honest discussion explaining what you said here. If it is sincere, it should work as long as you follow up on it.
2007-01-16 15:50:42 · answer #3 · answered by Johnboy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, there is nothing you can SAY to him to regain his trust, other than to tell him you are going to get a few sessions of counseling, and quit being a crab.. Irresponsible spending is baby stuff, as is being a nag... you need to grow up, fast and big time, and some counseling might indeed jump start that.... it will teach you to communicate your needs without trouncing on his ego, and it will teach to think of someone else besides your own immediate needs before you act out or same something really cutting. and hopefully you will find that the greatest joy in marriage is giving, not taking.
2007-01-16 15:27:33 · answer #4 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Trust develops over time and experience, but it only takes a minute to break someone's trust. You will just have to be patient. If you can't do that then he is right in holding back his trust. You can't carry water in a leaky bucket, and you can't put trust in someone who does not keep it.
2007-01-16 15:24:20 · answer #5 · answered by crossbones668 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it depends on how stubborn you are cause a real man will give in to his wife and not the other way around. thats what marriage is all about . if a man out there thinks he can be in charge of the marriage( which is 3rd world behavior anyway) he aint a man
2007-01-16 15:45:40 · answer #6 · answered by rockstar_livin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keli,Jumpstart isn't going to fix it. Sounds like you love and respect your husband. Tell him what you told us, and just continue to love him without the revenge thing and I'm sure it will work out to the best.
2007-01-16 15:30:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say How often would you like to fool around and do what he wants within reason to keep sparks going..
2007-01-16 15:26:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋