What should I do about my husband that is addicted to getting high?

Question

I have been w/ him 7yrs. No kids, yet. He has always smoked pot and I finally got him to 'quit' (not the 1st time) but now he is addicted to cough syrup w/ codeine. He has been on it for about 6 months. He will go through a bottle in less than 2 days.The pharm. wouldn't refill it, so he got his mom to call her dr. for a prescription. She had no idea. I have talked to him about this ALOT. I don't do any drugs, I drink occasionally and that is it. The codeine makes him lose interest in sex, causing tension. I love him a lot & besides this, he is a good person. He helps out around the house, keeps a good job, doesn't cheat on me, or abuse me or anything like that. But I know this is not good for his health and illegal, what should I do? Ultimatum's only work for a day or two. This morning I took the bottle he got from his Mom's pharmacist and dumped it out. He asked me about it this afternoon, he acknowledges that it was the right thing to do, but I know it's not the end of it.

Answer 1

Your husband struggles with addiction. Continue dumping out the bottles and pressure him into a rehab program or support group. He needs to replace his addiction with something positive, like working out. I would also let your mother in law know about his drug problem so she doesn't continue to enable him. Encourage him to stay clean, negative remarks will only push him further into the hole. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Lots of stuff to talk about here. One question for you- would you rather have him smoking dope or messing with illegal prescriptions and distructive codeine? There is a huge difference in the effects on his body between the two. Another question- when he smoked pot was it all the time or just recreational?

It sounds like he has an addictive personality, so if you cut out the syrup he will find something else, maybe something easier to get and worse for his health.

Let me preach at you for a minute here. Eighty years ago in the US it was illegal to drink alcohol and legal to smoke pot. It was also socially acceptable to get high. That all changed with the repeal of the constitutional amendment banning alcohol. Soon after the legal and illegal liquor industries moved on our politicians to ban pot use. Too much competition!

I'm an educated professional and I occassionally smoke pot myself. I would much rather have my children get high recreationally than to get drunk. Over 550,000 people a year lose their lifes to drunk drivers in the US. Sometimes I drive 45 mph instead of 55 mph, but that's about the extent of my impairment.

My suggestion, although I know it may not be politically correct, make a compromise on the pot smoking and get him away from chemicals. In 1969 we were smoking dope, wearing bell bottom jeans and putting daisies in gun barrels to protest the war. Just a few years later we were dancing on lighted dance floors to ungodly disco music wearing 4" platform shoes and leisure suits. It was all the chemicals, they will mess you up!!!

Can you imagine how happy and content he will be if you accept his "structured" pot use, not all day long use? It's safer than getting drunk, easier to buy than the syrup and all he will do is raid the cupboards for munchies. Furthermore, I've enjoyed some the best sexual experiences when I've had a good buzz.

I hope my counselor friends aren't reading all of this, but this is the honest truth! Peace

Answer 3

He abuses HIMSELF which indicates he has some OTHER major issues going on that you are not qualified to help him with. ANY form of abuse is abuse, period. It affects the entire family whether you see it now or not. Tell him to GET HELP NOW. Give him a reasonable amount of time to make contact and start some sort of program. If the date arrives and he has not made the effort to get help, you MUST stand your ground and either move out or move him out. If you don't do this, he will continue on this way forever. It's not easy, but if you love him and your kids, it must be done.

Answer 4

You need to stand firm on this. Talk to his mother and remind her of how much trouble she can get into for prescription fraud. If she gets cough syrup for your husband again, inform her that you will report her. Your husband needs to understand that you can't replace one addiction with another. Your husband needs to understand that if he can't exist without codeine, then he will have to exist without you. There is no way you will be able to bring children into this relationship while he is this unstable. Make it known to your husband that you won't put up with this crap anymore. Thank you and good luck.

Answer 5

if he is addicted to any type of substance...the answer is very simple. You need to get yourself out of there before he drags you down financially (meaning stealing from you to support his 'habit'). He needs to make the decision to get the help that he needs. You cannot do that for him. You can threaten him with leaving, you can argue until you turn blue in the face. no amount of convincing (no matter how it is done) will get him to get the help until he is ready. just pack your bags and leave. and if he is still addicted to this controlled substance then you need to go ahead and file for divorce and just save yourself. if this is illegal then you need to report this to the police. because his mom could be held liable for supporting his habit. one way or another...if you don't save yourself...you could end up paying for it and regretting it. forget the fact that he is a good man. he is on drugs and drugs have a way of brining out the worst in people. it is only a matter of time before he starts stealing from you and finding someone on the street and or start abusing you.

Answer 6

Sometimes we are too close to the ones we love to help them in a drug or alcohol addiction problem. It has to be their decision to go to a rehab and get cleaned up but with your support and love maybe this might break the old habits once and for all. Good luck to you and him

Answer 7

Often addicts will trade in one addiction for another. I have a friend who quit doing meth but is now a sex addict. He needs to get help! Tell his mom what is going on; get a bunch of his close friends and family together and have an intervention.

Answer 8

my husband and i have been together for 13 years i smoked pot with him for about 3 of those years and quit he continues to today smoke i want him to quit. he holds a good job has had the same one sense we first met and even does side jobs he loves his kids and helps around the house laundry dishes etc...he tryed to quit for about a month and i couldnt live with him i finally had to face facts he did it when we got together and that didnt keep me from loving him so it shouldnt know no i dodnt agree with it but as long as he keeps it away from me and mostly my children then i will deal with it.

Answer 9

As I see it, you have two options: Accept his addiction, or, leave him. He's addicted....he's not going to just quit cause you want him to, or issue ultimatums to him. I have poured enough alcohol to float a battleship down the drain, and it did not phase my Daddy's addiction...he just got more. Good Luck!!

Answer 10

oh my god mellow out! first, cough syrup is not illegal, and second, do you have even the slightest clue what its like to live with a crackhead? Or a meth head? Or a raging alcoholic? NO, then consider yourself lucky and stop nagging your husband to death. God, let him smoke pot big deal, you drink. No one ever smoked a joint and went home to beat his wife, but you can't say the same about a fifth of vodka can you?