My fiance and I have been together for 5 years. We have 2 beautiful children. Even though we have a ton of common intrests, we are very different. He is sort of "hippy" and I come from a very 'sophisticated' family. I'm always worried about what kind of clothes I have, never causing any 'bad attention' for my family, making sure everyone thinks we have this perfect relationship. I guess I am a perfectionist and it is driving my fiance insane. I wish I could just let go and be free to live a little and not care what everyone else thinks. Sometimes I think about him and his ex wife and get jealous because they look so right together. She has the same free spirit that he does and I would give anything to have that too.
I would appreciate any advice
2007-01-16 06:55:33 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are who YOU are! Not him, not his ex....YOU!! Be proud of who you are, your standards, dress, etc. He obviously loves you, and accepts you for who you are......Why don't YOU do the same??
2007-01-16 07:07:01 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you think your fiance is going nuts? Are you sure it's him and not you? Having a "free spirit" is not something one just "does" - it's a state of mind, an attitude, a way of life - just like being appearance minded or a perfectionist. You need to sit down and write out WHY you care so much what others think, and WHY you need to be so "controlled". THEN write out what could happen if you let it all go and had a more relaxed attitude. If others judge you by your clothes or think less of you because you are not like them, then it's THEIR problem, not yours. It's what is on the INSIDE that really matters. Try to relax a little and see how it feels - you might like it!
2007-01-16 15:12:01 · answer #2 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let him be himself, and don't be afraid to be yourself. If he gives you reasons to be a little less uptight, then that's a good thing ... you probably bring out something good in him, too. Obviously his ex wasn't all that perfect for him or they'd still be together. Don't try to overdo it by playing "hippie" yourself, though ... it'll look fake and just highlight the differences between you instead of bringing you closer.
2007-01-16 15:09:42 · answer #3 · answered by MikeTX 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him what you need to do to make him feel more whole,
Discuss this and take little steps.
Compromise is the key,not becomng like his ex .
If his ex was so good she wouldnt be an ex.
You should not have to totally abandon your beliefs but modify them so you both can be comfortable,find small things that you are comfortable letting go of and try it out,.
Communication and compromise is the key.
2007-01-16 15:04:48 · answer #4 · answered by mark t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being as she is his ex apparently they were not so perfect. Just take some cues from him on letting go more. Try new things...you may just love it. And if u don't like it...he loves u for who u are I'm sure.
2007-01-16 15:03:44 · answer #5 · answered by earthangel_candy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be yourself
2007-01-16 15:04:06 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋