My boyfriend and i have been together for 3 years and im crazy about him, and i thought he felt the same about me. I have just found out that i am pregnant, and when i told him he said he didnt want it. We have always been careful and used birth control, so i think he is blaming me for getting pregnant! He says he still wants me but not "the burden" of a baby.. I refuse to abort my baby, but at the same time i dont want to lose what i have with my boyfriend. As far as im concerned we are both old enough (aged 23) and financially stable enough to have a baby so i cant see his problem! Would i be crazy to go ahead and have this baby even if it meant i would lose him and have to raise it on my own? I'd really appreciate any feedback...Thank you!
2007-01-16 06:53:12 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Your not crazy If he loves you then he will also love the baby If you have an abortion just for him whose to say he still wouldn't leave. Honey follow your heart could you really take this life that is inside you and live with it for the rest of your life talk to a counslor you really need one good luck
2007-01-16 07:01:59 · answer #1 · answered by what gives 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Girl have your baby. I know you love him and have been together for 3 years so I am not going to tell you to tell him to kiss you a** or anything. This is real talk....
Sometimes men get this way because they want to provide all they can for their family. Just explain to him that there will never be a perfect time to have a baby. This is your time. Everything happens for a reason. If you all are 23 and stable why not???
It is not your fault. Birthcontrol is not 100% so if he didnt want a baby he should not of had sex. You did not get pregnant on your own. Talk to him and etc...but put your child and your body first.
It is your body and not his, no matter how selfish that sounds, it is true.
You want to keep your child and that is what you should do.
He will come around. Especially since yall have been together so long. Just make your Dr. apts and take take good care of yourself and your new little gift from God.
Hey.. some women cannot even have kids.
Good luck and take care
2007-01-16 07:10:43 · answer #2 · answered by princesandy2004 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no reason to abort a baby that you truly want. Tell the boyfriend to get lost. Boyfriends come and go but the pain of an abortion will last a lifetime. Also the love of a child far surpasses the love of any man. Your child will love you unconditionally, and will be with you forever. I don't think you can say the same about the boyfriend. If he loves you and you leave him to have the baby he will be back. If he doesn't come back then good riddance!! There are lots of wonderful men out there who would love to be a step dad. I found one and I have two kids. Good luck! Have the baby you will be glad you did!!!
2007-01-16 07:02:32 · answer #3 · answered by gavinemma 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know a lot of women who have had abortions. and a lot of them are regretting it deeply. If you want to keep this child, then do it. don't worry about him or anything he has to say. your child is your child for life. if you abort this baby, and later you and him are broken up, what does that leave you with? or if you abort this baby, how do you know that things will be the same between the two of you afterwards? what if you start to build a resentment towards him?
Personally i don't see the reason why you would want to stay with a man like that, who will just up and neglect his responsibilities like that. if that's any indication of the future, just take it as a blessing in disguise and keep it moving. looks like a long road of 'surprises' if you stick with him.
just think with an open heart. there are a lot of ppl that would love to have a beautiful brand new baby. you are still young, and stable. you can find someone worth your time that will love your baby.
good luck
2007-01-17 05:45:36 · answer #4 · answered by myfianceisamonkey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, when you're having sex, you know the possible consequences. So, if he wants to act like that, then tell him to take a flying leap. That's not the kind of person you need or should want to help raise your children. If the relationship was so important to him, he wouldn't ask you to make a decision you don't want to. You are carrying a baby inside you. You make the decision. If you want to have it, have it. I did it. It is hard. It will be the hardest thing you'll ever do, but if that's what you want, go for it. And if he doesn't want it, then as long as you have the support of friends and family, that's all you need. You WILL find someone who will love you and your child. Yes, people will judge. There are much worse things than having a child alone. Trust me. Go for it, girl! You can do it!!!!! And it will all be worth it when they put that child in your arms. You'll never love anything like you love your own children.
2007-01-16 07:05:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly want this child you would have it with or without him. Maybe he is not ready and you shouldn't force him to be as he should n't force you to have an abortion...
At the same time ... do you really want to have a child with someone who doesn't want anything to do with it? How will the child feel knowing that his father doesn't want to be in his life?
He is probably really scared he may change in time or may not... you are still young honey... you have lots of time to have a baby if you decided that you don't want a baby now... it is not an easy desicion and only you have the final say in it.
if you feel you have support from family and friends that can help you when he won't then go ahead a have it if you feel that is what you want.
but don't brigna baby into the world that will suffer if you can't give it what it needs now.
Good luck and my prayers are with you.
2007-01-16 07:03:58 · answer #6 · answered by Meliskell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let him talk you into an abortion. It is your body and your choice. If he didn't want a baby, he shouldn't have been taking that chance by having sex. There is nothing wrong with rasing a baby on your own. Also, you may just need to give him a little more time to adjust. Pregnancy can cause a lot of mixed feelings and strains on relationships, especially when they are so unplanned and you are not married. He may warm up to the idea, especially if you take him to an ultrasound with you and he sees the baby :) Congrats on the pregnancy, and good luck :)
2007-01-16 07:07:07 · answer #7 · answered by Erika 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put it this way. Would u choose a man over your child? Your child is the most wonderful thing that could happen to u. its YOURS your blood. Your not crazy if u keep it, hes crazy for not wanting it! Its worth losing him! But thats just my opinion. Raising a child on your own isnt impossible. Im on baby number 2 to raise on my own. You can do anything u put your mind to and if your determined u can do it. Plus if u need help there is lots of it out there! And if u keep it im sure he will not be able to look at that baby and reject it. even if u guys arent together.
2007-01-16 07:02:48 · answer #8 · answered by Miss Lady 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Speaking as a prior embryo, I am happy my parents didn't decide to abort me. As far as your relationship, he has just told you how sacred that is. You are not married and he has no responsibility to you. You might be able to take him to civil court and get monetary funds to help you care for the child. If you both would bring up the child, what would the last name be? You have just come upon the biggest problem this country has. Is the child in your womb a burden on your life or a treasure? Did the life you have within you make that decision or did you make the decision to create the child. Look up the film, "The Silent Scream." Perhaps this will help you make up your mind as to what to do. Your child will be in my prayers along with your decision making.
2007-01-16 07:06:13 · answer #9 · answered by KIB 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is definatley ok!! Its great that you had a great relationship with him for 3 years but you apparently want to be a mommy some day and he doesnt want to be a daddy, your putting off the enevitable. If you feel financially ready and your really wanting to love this baby and give it a good home I say do just that! You definatley do not want to have a abortion for anyone else then yourself. You will have to live with the remmberance of that (and or consequenses) for longer then he may actually stay around. Good luck with you new baby!! I wish you all the best!
2007-01-16 07:03:32 · answer #10 · answered by frostedbetty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋