I'm getting married on saturday and I had my make up trial done on the 13th. One of my bestfriends was going to be a bridesmaid but she sent me a message on saturday morning saying she wasn't coming to the trail and that she didn't want to come to the hen night.
This was because on friday I (Unfairly I know) told her that it would be silly to fit neons to her car as they are illegal! So I got that message, she then send one to my sister telling her that we had isolated her from the wedding by buying her a dress that was too small.
I don't have a lot of money and it was too small but a family friend was altering it for her and it looked lovely.
It's been really hard for me I had to cancel my origional wedding as my dad is terminally ill and I wanted him to be there, so I know I've sprung the wedding on her at short notice, but am I wrong to have now asked her not to be in the wedding?
She upset so many people, but was I too harsh on her?
2007-01-16 06:44:22 · 11 answers · asked by joanna b 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sorry about the bad spelling by the way.
2007-01-16 06:46:19 · update #1
This is suppose to be your most perfect day and all of your friends and family should be there for you, not for their own reasons. You also don't need one person ruining it for you and upsetting everyone, with that said I think you should really think about it and find a way to include her in the wedding it the issue can be resolved. I don't think you were to harsh but to save your friendship you might want to sit her down and explain to her what this day means to you if she doesn't already understand and also tell her that you don't have that much money so you're doing the best that you can with her dress.
It's not too late to work it out or repair your friendship and I hope it can be done. Again though I don't think you should feel bad or guilty for wanting this wonderful occasion to go as smooth as possible.
I wish you the best of luck and congratulate you on your wedding to come.
2007-01-16 15:33:40 · answer #1 · answered by angel h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think so. Obv it's embarassing when you have a dress too small for you but you didn't order it intentionally and were fixing it for her. When someone's getting married you need to try and make things go smoothly for them and certainly not get in a stress with them and upset them for no good reason.
Maybe there is an underlying reason for this - is she worried you will drop her once you're married? Have you given off any signals that might make her think this? Perhaps se's feeling very emotional now and these emotions are coming out in a funny way. just a thought. At any rates, in my opinion you should call her and say you need to meet up one on one and sort out what's going on. She's acting rather immature but if you want to remain friends (and the longer you leave it the worse it will get) you need to be the bigger person here. Good luck!
2007-01-16 08:36:46 · answer #2 · answered by Nikita21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting married is stressfull and I'm sure your friend will understand that you could have been a little more tactful, but your under a lot of pressure with everything else and every bride wants their dad beside them on the big day. If she's a true friend she will understand the pressure your under and come to the wedding without upsetting anyone else, if she still has issues tell her to leave it till after your big day. Tell her she can always sell the neons on ebay.
2007-01-16 08:39:29 · answer #3 · answered by honkitonkwoman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that its probably hard for her now to be excluded especially by being one of your best friends. However, with it being YOUR special day, she should be trying to help you with the stress not add to it a few days before. She should understand how stressed you are and know how much it means to have your dad present. I personally don't think you're in the wrong.....its her loss!! I'm sorry to hear about your dad, but I hope you have a great day on Saturday! Good luck for your future!! :-)
2007-01-16 06:52:45 · answer #4 · answered by fluffypurplealien 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Neons??? What age is she - like 17?! Being quite honest I think she would secretly prefer to be racing with the little chaved up boy racers than going to your wedding - maybe you're best off without her there!
Have a great day though - best of luck with it.
xx
2007-01-16 20:57:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were probably a little harsh, but with what you are currently going through that is understandable.
Why not give her a ring and say that you would like her to be there? Later youi can quietly point out the emotions you are going through....she ought to understand
2007-01-16 06:58:52 · answer #6 · answered by alan h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it was the 13
2007-01-16 06:47:43 · answer #7 · answered by drkombmisack 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
eh i feel for you both to be honest with you...if that was me...as your friend i dont know whether i would recover from it but then from your point of view i wouldnt stand for it..so i feel for both parties involved
i do hope you asked her to the wedding itself..and try...try and explain your reasons and hopefully she will see it from your point of view....good luck with your wedding and i hope it all works out and im sorry about your dad
2007-01-16 08:17:49 · answer #8 · answered by tinkerbell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear, you have a chav mate who wants neons on her car???? I think you should get married without her in her Burberry cap and enjoy your life with your husband.
2007-01-16 06:53:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, you weren't wrong. she's being petty and you don't need someone like that around. a true friend would have spoke to you about how upset she'd been about your comments.
it's your special day - forget about her and concentrate on you, your day and your husband to be.
xxx
2007-01-16 06:50:04 · answer #10 · answered by aria 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋