that is what my boyfriend is trying to tell me, but i dont want to believe that. i told him it hurts me when he looks at it, and he says it hurts him if he doesn't look at it. is that true?
2007-01-16 06:32:07 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i dont know, we have a lot of problems anyway, just because i am Catholic and he is athiest. He tried to stop for like 2 days, but then during that time he was cold, withdrawn, and rude. I don't like him looking at it because it makes me feel bad about myself, like my company is not enough. And maybe it isn't. Hence, I've been considering a split.
2007-01-16 06:44:12 · update #1
im 22, he's 27
2007-01-16 10:54:27 · update #2
There is something infinitely wrong with a man who has to get inspiration from voyeurism. He has you and I feel certain you are worth looking at - he did look once, right? So, what is so fascinating about staring at another woman/man getting it on, when you are available to him?
It is a stupid excuse - not a reason - when they want to be dirty little boys. He feels no pain when he is not looking. He merely wants to do it and does not appreciate your objection. Some men get all hot and bothered by voyeurism as long as it is not their daughters in the picture. God forbid that she should do such an awful thing!
Since you are Catholic and he is atheist, you should know that the bible speaks of two people being unequally yolked. They cannot travel the same path in unity since they are of different minds, and persuasions, I might add.
His insensitivity to your feelings is sufficient demonstration of how he truly feels about you. Rethink this relationship seriously. If looking at another woman is what gets his juices flowing, he is not seeing you when you are together, his mind is elsewhere. That sort of behaviour is not to be trusted. Really!
2007-01-16 06:59:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men & women are fundamentally as different as apples & oranges. Women are instinctual thinkers. Their thoughts occupy virtually every aspect of their existence. Women also physically bear children which necessitates higher instinctual intuitive levels. Men, on the other hand, are instinctual reactors. They are presented with a stimulus and react to it. Sexual stimuli are no different. If men were not instinctually this way, humans would not have evolved to be the dominant species on the planet. Does this mean men have no means of controlling themselves? Of course not. But if the opportunity is there, most men will at least look (and touch) if possible. Any women aware of her sexuality knows this, since women (stimulus), not men, decide if a sexual encounter will occur. If your boyfriend's fantasy sex life (porn/masturbating) becomes more appealing to him than his relationship with you, then yeah, you'll have a problem. But in the meantime, better he look at porn than actually sleep with other women. You should, however, keep a close eye on him. Trust your instincts. If he cheats on you, you'll know. Why? Because men are terrible liars and women are intuitive as hell. Women usually recognize the signs, but choose to ignore them. Just realise this: if he cheats on you, it's likely just sex; just a reaction to a stimulus a women has provided. It usually has nothing to do with him loving the other women or not loving you. It is a physical act...that's all. And don't make the mistake of assuming your man will think about things the same way you do because he won't. This doesn't mean he has no choice. This doesn't mean men have a free pass to honk on every women who sends a honk-sign. But if you understand how a man thinks, and how fundamentally different it is from you, then you can learn to deal with issues when they come up.
2007-01-16 07:28:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is a dick. Pack up and leave him. Anybody that will look at those materials will have a distorted view of women and what to expect from you sexually. He is immature and not somebody you want to be with. Look at how it hurts you, rightfully so. You are not in the wrong...he is. Your job isn't to help him, so don't try. You can't ask him to stop as he won't. This is something he has to do and not even just for you but for himself. Leave him, deep down you know you deserve better. You deserve to be with a guy who won't downplay his addictions and how they harm you but rather somebody who will be honest in dealing you and bold enough, man enough to work out his own crap.
Always remember if you can do better than you should.
2007-01-16 07:49:00 · answer #3 · answered by simm 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all it is not necessary but it is natural. Men are more visual creatures than women are. First of all, why don't you find out WHY he looks at adult material and whether or not he wants you to participate in the looking. Lots of men love their women to watch movies with them.
Second of all, why does it hurt you so? Are you embarrassed that he looks at another woman? Are you jealous? How many times has a hot man walked by you and you not turn your head? You look too I wager, just at those clothed bodies. Keep in mind, women look better naked, while men look better in clothing.
2007-01-16 06:38:39 · answer #4 · answered by rothe_jabbuk 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your gut instincts are right-of course it's NOT necessary. But-he apparently desires it very much, and with you not wanting him too-I see a problem. Some people have sexual fetishes, and don't feel they can have good orgasms without doing their fetish. Unless he is just trying to prove a point to you? As for you feeling insecure about your man looking at naked females in a photo, they are just photo's. But on the other hand, it's your choice on what YOU prefer. I hope you two can come to some compromise-Good luck!!
2007-01-16 06:45:34 · answer #5 · answered by sue d 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you caught him then he lied to you with some dreamt up imagined story. Looking at adult content is something a boy does out of curiosity not necessity. I wish you would have stated your age because a slightly more in-depth response could be written but age is a big factor, so I'll leave it at that....
2007-01-16 06:48:51 · answer #6 · answered by mohvictor 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not exactly necessary, but about 99% of men do this. Men don't consider it a big deal and it is totally separate from their relationship with their woman.
The thing here is this: Men do what they want to do regardless of what you say to them. So if you ask him to stop, he will just do it secretly. I don't think there is any way to make a man stop viewing (or more accurately, using) 'adult material.'
2007-01-16 06:38:53 · answer #7 · answered by Gen•X•er (I love zombies!) 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
No it's not necessary, actually to be a real man is to not look at adult material. It doesn't hurt a guy not to look at it, actually he's just saying that because he's a typical guy who wants sex with no commitment.
2007-01-16 06:35:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't feel the desire to watch adult material. While it might not be necessary for ALL men, mayhap it's just case per case. I can do without it, but your boy can't ?
2007-01-16 06:35:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No...it's not necessary. To disregard your feelings when you tell him it hurts tells me he is either addicted to porn or a jerk. You need to decide which one and what you are willing to put up with. One important thing you must know, his porn use is not about you in any way. Peace :-)
2007-01-16 06:46:44 · answer #10 · answered by me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋