How do I make myself feel better?

Question

I'm a newly wed (about 4 months), and my husband has a new "I've got you now, and I can act how I want to attitude". He doesn't care about what he does or how it makes me feel. He also doesn't care to hear about the things going on in my life unless it does him good in someway. BUT, he is always lovey dovey and in a great mood as long as he gets his way. I've decided after 4 months of it that I need to pick myself up and live for me. I can still be a good wife and do this but, I need some suggestions on what I should do?

Answer 1

You certainly need to stand up for yourself. At this point, he is seeing how far he can push you and what he can get away with, basically setting the foundation for the rest of your lives. Sure, he might be a pain to deal with when he doesn't get his way, and it's easier and "nicer" when he does act lovey dovey when getting his way, but if he wasn't like this before marriage then he knows what you're made of and you need to be a complete good wife, not just playing nice, but also making him be a better person.

Answer 2

Well, maybe his manipulative behavior has worked for him in the past, with his mother or other relationships in his life. Is it possible that this isn't a new attitude, but one that you chose to ignore because you wanted so badly to be married? On the other hand, read the "proper care and feeding of husbands." You'd be surprised at some of the tips in that book, it just takes a different approach. Women have a lot of power that they don't even realize they have. No one said you had to sacrifice your own life just to make the marriage work....

Answer 3

u know what is sooo funny? i see it all the time in relationships: the more confident, attractive, happy and AWESOME a woman is, the more the man treats her well. the more depressed, negative, unconfident, etc, that a woman is, the more he starts looking DOWN on her... even though if the man just gave her more attention, she would BECOME more confident!!! it's like, some guys just don't know how to give the woman what she needs, which is why she needs to learn how to get it on her own first, and that will allow her husband to become the man he should be.

and this is the KEY i think to most relationships between men and women: we Fuel each other, we Help each other become better people. and the more together, in control, Happy, Healthy, and Positive u are as a Woman, the more u will be able to help ur husband to change and become a Better Man. that means caring about ur feelings, caring about how he treats u: he will never learn to change his pompous, rude attitude if YOU don't call him out on it!!

so, my advice to u would be this: always work on ur confidence in urself. so that means, ur Appearance: work out, exercise, try on new hair and makeup, find clothes that make u look Awesome :D. that's always fun.

next, work on ur Mind: study more, work harder, learn more, keep an Open Mind. excel in ur career, in school, wahtever u are doing. develop hobbies, interests, etc. read the news, read more books, etc etc. anything to get ur mind into gear! remember, the more u KNOW the more u can express urself to others.

next, work on ur Relationships: w/ ur family, friends, friends of friends, and eventually Strangers. remember, u already look better and know more, so u have LESS to feel awkward about. and this also gains u respect from others!! think of it this way; if u are an Awesome, Beautiful, Smart woman and wife, it shows ur husbands friends that he is So lucky to have u; will make HIM feel good too, and will also give u a reason to say "hey, u are embarrassing me if u don't get ur act together".... u know? but if u are confused, unconfident, then u dont' have anything to stand on when u confront him.

i don't know if this works on all men, but i think it works on all GOOD men. they will want to be worthy of u if u are a worthy woman. only jerks and bad men will treat a woman badly, Especially when she is trying to be a good woman.

good luck ~~

Answer 4

Research things you like to do and find a friend network to support you. Take classes, volunteer, get involved. Live your life to the fullest and if the hubby wants to go along, fine. If he's still intent on being selfish, you now have something else to do. Hopefully he'll grow up and realize that there's a lot more to being married than just winning the prize.

Answer 5

Wow. That's interesting. Sounds like he gave you "what life would be like ifyou were with me" on a silver platter and you ate it. And now your food went sour. I was there this time last year; but I figured it out and gave my ring back =) I'd say do things for you and if it gets worse; just remember, you always have options!If you aren't happy; it may be time to do move on =)

Answer 6

Get a job that you have to work opposite hours as your husband, so that the two of you don't see each other very much.

Answer 7

I have been in a marriage like that in the past...my advice to you is to tell him how you feel and if he doesn't respect you enough to change then i would definitely get out.

Answer 8

If he thought he could lose you Im betting he would change his ways. Pack up and move in with someone til he comes to his senses. Tell him he has a month before you contact a lawyer.

Answer 9

It works both ways, keep your legs closed until you get your way. Trust me it will be hard at first but you will eventually break him, and then you will get your way.

Answer 10

yes true who said that to kill your self for him right lol do thing for yourself