My husband left me and the two kids, one of whom is disabled, for a woman in the neighborhood. All of the people we knew have simply accepted this and invite him and the woman to dinners and other activities. Do people not want to "judge?" They all were very kind to me and believed that I was the best thing to happen to him. He stabilized his career, moved into a position making a lot of money, visited and helped his relatives more often, was more responsive to his friends and bought a house while married to me so, no, for those of you who immediately assume so, they did not beleive that I was a beatch. Perhaps that is why we have so many teen pregnancies, because no one wants to take the moral position anymore. Thanks.
2007-01-16 06:21:52 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think its neither. I think it's ignorance. People do judge, but they dismiss it because the try to omit themselves from guilt by telling themselves "It's not our business, I'm not getting involved". I bet it makes people more uncomfortable then they let on.
2007-01-16 06:34:47 · answer #1 · answered by CEP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So what are you asking, that you want all your friends and neighbors to be spiteful and hateful towards your ex? Try to let it go and move on. If you let go of these bad feelings, maybe your children will benefit from a good relationship w/their father. If you continue to try to ban him from the circle of friends and neighborhood and are vindictive and spiteful, your kids may end up paying the price, because surely you can see that your attitude will be hurtful toward them? I'm not saying he was right, by the way, not at all, I'm just pointing out the uselessness of worrying over it, and the possible harm of it. Pick new friends, and take that engergy and turn it into something positive. You don't want to be bitter, do you?
2007-01-16 14:28:24 · answer #2 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's the 1st amendment... You live in a free country, and this means people do crazy things sometimes. Sounds like most of your ex's friends have moved on - time for you to do the same. He might have done you wrong, but life is not fair, and no one should be expected to put their lives and friendships on hold just because YOU had been wronged. Keep your head high, and get on with your life. Good luck.
2007-01-16 14:28:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
think it involves both, people don't stand up for what is right anymore, no one cares when someone gets kicked to the curb, as if it really no big thing anymore, it is wrong, but what can u do about it, nothing at all. no one wants to judge either, or get involved with right and wrong anymore. it is sad but so true. got to move on with your life, he did u an injustice, gave u a hurt u didn't deserve, after u helped him so much. don't worry he won't prosper for too long, karma will come visiting them.
2007-01-16 16:19:04 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you saying that it would somehow be more noble of them to side with you and shun him and his girlfriend?
Sounds like they're taking the 'thou shalt not judge' route, and I don't think you should judge them harshly for that. Or perhaps they realize they live in glass houses themselves and shouldn't throw rocks. Face it, they don't know the details of your situation... and even if they did, what good would it do anybody for them to be nasty to him and her?
Of course it hurts to be 'set aside', but you need to move forward, and you can't do that by constantly looking back. Would you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who's no longer in love with you? Set aside your bitterness and resentment towards your ex and do something wonderful with your life.
2007-01-16 14:36:53 · answer #5 · answered by sueflower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say that if they were your friends they would not permit them in their home. whether it's right or wrong they'll do it anyway and until the day comes that the shoe is on the other foot they won't understand the magnitude of their behavior of acceptance and allowance they provided to them.
2007-01-16 14:44:37 · answer #6 · answered by olivia t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Judge not, lest ye be judged. Find yourself a real man.
2007-01-16 14:33:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get over it. Who gives a crap what anyone else thinks. Obviously you two were not good together. Move on.
2007-01-16 14:26:06 · answer #8 · answered by MrNiceGuy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your husband didn't love your anymore that's why he left, he shouldn't stay with you just cause u have kids and not love you.
Let him go and stop worrien about what other people think
2007-01-16 14:34:33 · answer #9 · answered by Mysterious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, I'd say immorality. They are not perfect, either, so they "cut him some slack." Too much, I'd say.
2007-01-16 14:27:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋