Someone please help me?

Question

My Husband and I have been married now for 21 years. Years ago
in 1993 he was caught drinking and driving for the 4th time. Now
16years later he get's caught again. I thought he learned his leason
but no. He his is still drinking and driving and hasn't even went to court yet. His hearing is in Feb. I have so much in life, I can't take much more. my nerves are so bad I feel like giving up sometimes.
I don't like to cry in front of my kid because I don't want them to have to deal with my problems. they are 20 and 18.
My husband has done so much I don't now what to do. I need to leave but I have no where to go. I've tried so hard to stand by him
but when he came home the other night so drunk he could not walk. I quite trying...I really need some help
Vickie Hodge

Answer 1

i wish i had the answer to ur problem...sorry...
good luck!!

Answer 2

you've bee married a long time. Has he gone for help for his drinking problem. if so and it didn't work you need to just pick up and leave. You always have somewhere to go your kids are grown. Look in the local newspaper for a woman looking for a roomate and share expenses. There is no reason for you to stay in that kind of environment. You always have someone to talk to if you need a friend just email me.
You sound like a really nice person and don't deserve this. Whatever you do don't give up just leave and start over. I know it sounds impossible right now but you will survive just get out as soon as possible.

Answer 3

Your husband has a problem. He needs to get help. I am sure when he goes to court in Feb. the judge will send him to rehab since this isn't the first offense. I hope that rehab works for him if not you should consider seperating from your husband. You shouldn't have to live life worrying constantly if your husband is drinking and driving. He may wind up getting in a wreck and hurting someon. If he did your husband would more than likely get sued from the victims families. You and your husband would never have anything. Maybe divorce is a better option. I hope things work out for you.

Answer 4

Honey the only help you need is getting out of there! He has the problem, drinking all the time! Your kids are old enough to understand what's going on. You need to get him into AA. If he doesn't want too, then tell him that he will be on his own from then on. You can't live a life just wondering what will happen next. Get out, get the need professional help the two of you need! Especially HIM!!!!

God Bless!

Answer 5

Your kids are grown. It's never easy to leave. I don't know where you live, but there should be some shelters in your area. It can be a safe place to go until you get on your own two feet. It doesn't matter how long you've been together, this relationship is toxic. You need to get out. Call your local government agencies and ask them for suggestions. Also, try churches. I will pray for you. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 6

I'm so sorry. Do your children still live at home? You and your children should go to Al Anon meetings. It will help you and give you the tools to move forward. If you're thinking of divorce, please see a divorce attorney right away to find out your options (alimony, etc.). If you don't have a job, time to go to classes so you can support yourself. Be strong for yourself and your children. Things can get better, but you're going to have to work hard and be strong to do it. Is there a trusted friend or relative you can talk to? Please ask for help. Good Luck!

Answer 7

Vickie, you are on the right road. You recognize the problem. You must honor yourself, and honor yourself by your relationship. You can't live for your children, you have to live for yourself. Right now you kids know what is going on with their father...there's no way they can't know. And, they are old enough to make their own decisions. It is time for you to discover yourself, to learn to love and honor yourself, to accept yourself as you are and without judgment. Your options are many. If you need shelter, there are many shelters for women in most large cities. If you are talking about divorce, see an attorney. If you personally need it, go to personal counseling. Talk to your local religious leader, if you have one, or see a professional counselor at a counseling center in your town/city. Also, pray for the personal strength to carry through with these actions that you really know you must do. Honor yourself.

Answer 8

i'm sorry to hear this but you need a change. first you need to get some couseling to help you deal with all your feelings of anger etc. then you need to kick his sorry butt to the curb!!! you do not need to live like this you have been for far too long!! you tried to do the right thing but it didn't work so now do the right thing and tell him to get out!! if can't act like an adult then he shouldn't pretend to be a husband and father either! until he can clean himself up he shouldn't be allowed to keep behaving this way. GOOD LUCK i hope things work out for you!!

Answer 9

everyone has somewhere to go even if you don't realize it.. but only you can make the choice if you've done all you can and start to make the choices to get out.. you may not want your children to see you cry but even if they don't say anything most the time they do know that something is wrong with you but they don't say anything because basicly they feel helpless as how to help you deal with things.. they are adults give them the benefit of the doubt to prove it to you and tell them what is going on and let them help you figure out how to deal with the situation..

Answer 10

Go to this link - www.alanon.org.za - find the local chapter of Alanon in your area and GO! They can equip you with the proper techniques to handle this situation. You are living with a raging alcoholic and obviously have no clue how to deal with it. It's compromising your quality of life and making you miserable. Enough misery, get help for yourself.

Answer 11

try to see if he will agree to going to something like alcoholics anonymous and if he wont, go yourself. you will meet others there in similar situations and may get help there. If he doesn't change, you need to get some money put aside and get out not only for your sake but also because of the example he is setting for your children!!