Why is it my destiny to be alone?

Question

I have everything I need, food, water, shelter, clothes, a car. But I've never had somebody that I love, love me in return. Why, does God just want me to be lonely and die in misery? I'm a good person, decent looking, people tell me i'm attractive often, and i think i look all right. I am caring, kind, maybe funny sometimes. It seems like everyone else has found their prince or princess charming. I'm 22 and feel like I will never meet that special someone. Not even a special someone, I can't even meet an unspecial nothing. I just don't seem to be what guys are looking for. Why? What did I ever do wrong that now I have to be lonely. I feel so hopeless. My friends keep getting married, my classmates have children, and I'm still no closer to doing any of those things than I was when I was 16. Please somebody tell me, will I get married. I am so lonely, I just want a nice person to spend my life with. Im not even asking for much. Just a nice, kind, gentle person, one person.

Answer 1

I feel for you Jaelynn, I am 38 and in the same situation and have much the same thoughts. I'd love to be with someone else but can't find anyone, my brothers are both married and have kids and most of my friends as well. All I can tell you is that you can never give up hope, as hope is all we have and sooner or later things will work out. In the meantime, you may do like I have and volunteer and buy a pet, a big loveable dog, they are wonders, they listen and never talk back and love you unconditionally. They ease a lot of pain, think about it. All dogs go to heaven because they give so much more than they usually receive, which is why I can't spoil mine enough.

Answer 2

Sounds like you are pretty full of yourself. Wait for when the time is right to meet that guy. I didn't find my "soulmate" until I was almost 30. The guys before that were mistakes to say the least. You will find what you are looking for so long as you don't settle for second best. You are 22 years old and are just now starting to figure out what you want. Live a little and experience life before you decide what kind of man you want. You are too important to make this decision too early. Take your time and enjoy. By the way, just because you consider yourself to be a nice person doesn't mean everyone else does too. Thank you.

Answer 3

Hi,

This answer might be a little too zen, but you could be wanting it too much. Try taking stock of yourself and make sure you are exactly who it is you want to be. Have you traveled enough? Do you have your education? Are you happy with who you are? While you are focusing on those things you will be surprised, perhaps sooner than you think, by someone who sees your amazing characteristics and wants you to know it.

Don't be negative! That will overshadow everything.

And don't be in such a hurry. I was married the first time at 21. The second time at 26. I almost ended up alone again last year. Love is wonderful but after the first stages, if you rush it as I did, you might find yourself asking, "Why is my destiny to be with this person and still so alone?" And in my expereince, I would rather be alone by myself than to have the pain of loneliness within a relationship.

Answer 4

If you don't believe in yourself, how do you expect a man to believe in and love you???? You are putting attention on what you don't want, rather than what you do want. You are creating a life that you don't want. Most men would run the other direction if you demonstrate the kind of neediness that your question reflects. Change your thinking, change your life. Rather than seeing lack of Love, know that God's love surrounds you every moment of every day. God is love, therefore God loves. Now, being so sure of God's love, go forth and BE God's love. The law of love is that one must give love before getting love. I know, you feel you have given love. I did also. The problem was that I didn't know how to give the kind of love that was requested, so I instead gave the kind of love that I wanted. Now I understand that men think very differently from women, and he could not receive or return the love I was giving, because it wasn't the kind of love that he wanted. Study the differences between men and women and learn to give a man what he wants, rather than what you want. There are numerous books, you might start with, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"

It's not God that's holding you back. Its you. When you are truly ready for love, you'll get off the pity pot and start learning how to love and be loved. I can't do it for you, and I can't lift you up, only you can. But if you truly want to love and be loved, first know yourself as worthy, second learn to love a man the way men want to be loved, and third, see the goal as already accomplished. You can do it if you want to. Best wishes.

Answer 5

There is no such thing as destiny. You make your own. As far as that special someone goes; It takes two people to make a relationship work. Don't go after assholes. That is a typical female mistake. You can't change someone who doesn't want to change. I suggest you try meeting people with the same interest as you. Join a club or someone with the same religion as you. Don't expect a fairytale mar rage. There is no such thing. Every relationship has problems. You just have to find someone willing to work as you will for it. Good luck and keep your chin up.

Answer 6

You're still very young! But I do understand how you feel. I have been there...having my pity party, wondering what's wrong with me, thinking I'll never have anyone, then after a while, thinking I'm getting too old, wrinkled, out of shape and ugly now...etc., etc., etc. Who would want me now?...etc., etc., etc.

And yes, I've watched many of my friends and relatives, younger AND older, find their prince or princess, marry, have kids, etc. just like you are.

I'm 56 and I've been waiting probably along with many others on here for more years than you are old. I was married at one time and have a fine adult son, a beautiful teen daughter, a wonderful daughter-in-law and a smart little grandson.

I am waiting, along with many, many others and I do still want to meet and marry "Mr. Right For Me" very much to spend the rest of my life with.

In the meantime, I volunteer calling bingo for the elderly, I volunteer at the local food pantry, I do crafts, I can come and go as I please, I can spend my money how I want and on what I want, I can watch what I want on TV, I can cook or not cook, I can go to the church I want to go to and I can help out at my church as much and as often as I want to, I can eat what and when I want, I can choose my own car, clothes, furniture, decorations and whatever else I want to without considering a spouse's perferences, I can visit my mother and spend every Friday evening with her, I can do things with my kids and grandson, I can show my 2 household furry cat "kids" in the yearly cat show, and many other things, many of which I would have to take my spouse into consideration on various levels.

Since I have been there and know what marriage is all about, I know that very much of all this will change when I meet and marry this Mr. Right For Me. Although, I would give up all these "freedoms" today for him, he's not here yet so I am taking advantage and enjoying them while I have them.

Oh, and I'll tell you a little secret, if you get out there and volunteer and take part in events and get involved in church or whatever you're interested in, he might show up with the same interests you both can share.

And please don't settle for less than the best for you because once the "new" wears off, it's not all a bed of roses like it is when you have stars in your eyes! (And, yes, you CAN wait for the best for you WITHOUT being so picky that no one is right.)

Been there, done that!

Answer 7

Ok, I have had MANY relationships , but I feel that God wants me (good looking, smart, and funny) to be alone for a reason. Relationships and Marriage take A LOT of time and effort. Devoting time and effort to family is not bad at all! Some people though (like you and I) need the time and effort to fulfill our mission from God. This could be to spread joy, raise funds for charity, run for government,.....who knows. If you have a family you could not do these things, or not do them to God's satisfaction. You are alone for a reason, an if you are the type of person you say you are, that reason is probably for the better (MUCH better).

Answer 8

My advice is to be patient. You are only 22. You are still very young. My advise to you is to not even think about it. Some of best things in life are unexpected. Another thing that I've noticed from experience is... everything always works out in the end. For some reason... things always work out. Life continues on. Have patience. It will come. Enjoy the now. Live it up. Be frivolous.

Answer 9

At 22 this is pretty normal - try getting out and volunteering at the local children's hospital or an animal shelter - the diversity will quell your loneliness and you will meet great people that believe in doing great things and maybe even that right someone. Just get out and live and love will come your way.

Answer 10

Hopefully you don't sit in solitude and think about how lonely you are. That's probably what i would do.

Connect with a good college and career small group at a local church or take some classes at the local Community college just to keep your human connections fresh.

Best of all, pray that God would give patience.