i am concerned about my relationship?

Question

I am concerned about my relationship. Recently my fiancee has started talking with a girl he went to school with and that was cool until I found out that she sent him pics of herself where she was half naked and I also found out that he told her to only call her while he is at work. He has also started looking at adult sites on the web and when I walk in the room he closes them in a hurry. Am I just being paranoid or do I have real concerns?

Answer 1

REAL concerns.

if i were u, i would take another look at what kind of man i want to marry. yes u love this guy, and maybe he loves u. but u have to remember that LOVE is only part of a marriage.. the rest is a Road u take together. and if u can't trust that person, no amount of love can make that road easier. =T

so, think of it this way: do u want to marry someone who makes u feel cheated on? or someone that u can't trust? someone u imagine is hanging out w/ other girls, talking to other girls, looking at nasty things behind ur back? someone u can't share EVERYTHING with , because he might be hiding something?? =T
probably not. nip it in the bud. talk to him. tell him that if he doesn't get his act together, and maek u feel Safe and Secure that u are marrying an honorable, Good Man who will be trustworthy, honest and committed, then the wedding's off.

no hard feelings. seriously, this is YOUR LIFE. he should know and understand that u are also in this relationship, and therefore how u FEEL and what u are Paranoid about is Valid. if it is untrue, he should do all he can to prove his devotion and committment to you. if that means stop talking to that other girl, so be it. that is wrong to have half naked pics of a girl he is just starting to communicate with... =T. good luck~

Answer 2

The fact that you're asking shows your real concern. You should consider yourself blessed that this happened before you got married. Does he really exhibit the kind of character you can trust to mean what he's saying in his vows? Would he be alright if you received nude pictures of a former schoolmate?

To say your guy has some commitment problems is an understatement. I'm not sure how old you both are, but he sounds very immature.

I know it will be an embarrassment to hand him his ring back, but do so today and get away from him. His nature to lie and cheat is obvious even if he hasn't yet. There are a lot of girls who ignored the signs and ended up in a devastating, degrading marriage, don't be one of them. You deserve much better and this other girl deserves exactly what she's getting. Let her have this bum and go on with your life. Peace!

Answer 3

I'm sorry to be the one to tell you but he's up to something. I've been in a similar situation and found out later that my b/f (at the time) was sneaking around. Confront him. Talk about and and figure out what's going on. Don't accuse! Get the facts straight. I know that it's not a comfortable situation but you need to talk about it before you jump into conclusions. If he's doing you wrong- dump him. As much as it might hurt, it will be worth it in the long run. Don't let him disrespect you like that.

Answer 4

I think you should sit down and talk to him. He probably has the wedding jitters. He may feel like he has to be with other women now before he's married, or he never will. It doesn't sound like he's really ready for marriage. Talk to him now before it's too late. If he's considering an affair then he is not ready for marriage and you shouldn't marry him. If he's just having wedding jitters but really loves you, maybe he'll get past this stage. In any case, you should put off the wedding until you are both absolutely certain that he can be faithful!

Answer 5

Yep! I would say you have a problem, it is called another girl! You need to be straight up with him and clear things up. What does she mean> why only call when at work, etc... if she is only a friend no need for him to hide anything he isn't ashamed of. you know what I mean, he has really changed just from what you said. Communication is the key word!
Good Luck!

Answer 6

have you asked him why she can only call him at work?sounds like he must have something to hide!my husband has a couple female friends but they call him at home there's no sneaking around.your definitely not paranoid.as for the adult sites my husband looks at them sometimes that usually is no concern but he sneaks and does it that is a concern sounds like he's all about sneaking around.guys like this usually dont change.

Answer 7

I'd say that if your fiancé gets naked pics from some chick he used to know, this is a good reason to be concerned. Tell him what you know, and let him know you feel it is inappropriate. He needs to shape up.

Answer 8

The Bible says that through Christ we should bring discipline and control to our thought-life. Our thoughts should not control us, but we should rule over our thoughts. "Cast down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ" (2 Cor. 10:5). Sexual fantasizing is a symptom of lust and is not pleasing to God. It stimulates and promotes sexual anxiety, which can lead to impure behavior and fornication. Get your mind out of the gutter and discipline your thoughts on good, and holy things.
"But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matt. 5:28). (Read Mark 7:21-23, Eph. 4:8.)

Having said that marriage is a way of relieving sexual pressures, Paul now says something else very significant. He says sex in marriage is designed of God to teach us something about ourselves, and to fulfill a missing need in our partners. You see this in Verses 3-5:

The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not rule over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not rule over his own body, but the wife does. Do not refuse one another [or to put it more bluntly, as the Greek actually does and as we read in the King James Version, "Defraud ye not one the other"] except perhaps by agreement for a season, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, lest Satan tempt you through lack of self-control. (1 Corinthians 7:3-5 RSV)

The major thrust of that paragraph is telling us that sex in marriage is designed for the fulfillment of each partner.

Yes you have real concerns. You better talk to him.

Answer 9

i would say that you have good reason to worry. guys that are trustable don't ask other girls to call them only at work and look at half-naked pictures of them. i would confront him about it, if he gives you an answer that doesn't sound right- postpone the wedding. you don't want to deal with this kind of stuff when your married. good luck.

Answer 10

You have real concerns. Girls shouldn't be sending him naked pics of themselves (he probably asked her to), and he shouldn't be readily checking out porn sites.

Find yourself a new man!!