he says i should get an abortion but i dont feel right about it. we love each other alot but we have a low cash flow and no insurance. he also says its kind of too soon in our relationship eventhough he will be with me if i keep it or if i dont but he is still pushing for the abortion. i agree with him but i dont think i want an abortion. wat should i do?
2007-01-16 06:03:22 · 18 answers · asked by NatGirl 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
he says i should get an abortion but i dont feel right about it. we love each other alot but we have a low cash flow and no insurance. he also says its kind of too soon in our relationship eventhough he will be with me if i keep it or if i dont but he is still pushing for the abortion. i agree with him but i dont think i want an abortion. we both also agree on not giving it up for adoption. wat should i do?
2007-01-16 06:22:09 · update #1
no adoption
2007-01-16 06:22:48 · update #2
Listen honey...I know you're freaked out right now, but you need to try and calm down and think about it from both aspects. I got pregnant in June of this past year by my boyfriend of 3 months...as short a time as 3 months sounds, we loved each other very much and he told me he supported me in whatever I wanted to do. We had no money,and I was still under my parents' health insurance because I was still in college. Personally I wouldn't get an abortion if the baby was conceived in love. I thought about how I'd feel if I got rid of it, or if I gave it away to someone else. I decided that even if things never worked out with my boyfriend I was going to take responsibility and raise this child the best that I can. My parents took it roughly, but after a few weeks they were starting to get excited. My boyfriend got a job and I worked until I couldnt anymore and we rent an apartment. Money is tight but we know we are doing the right thing for our baby. Now I am 7 months pregnant with my baby girl and engaged and couldn't be happier. Everyone is excited. Whatever road you choose, I wish you good luck, and remember...most people don't have it easy from the beginning. Don't let yourself get down. You have to work for what you want. Good luck!!
2007-01-16 06:40:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I got pregnant at 16 and I had no job , I kept my baby even though the dad left me as soon as he found out, If I can get threw it so can you.
If this guy is trying to get you to have an abortion I would honestly walk away, there are other fish in the sea and if he loved you he would respect that you want this baby.
You both took the chance of having sex knowing the risk, if you were not ready to be parents you both should of kept your pants up or used proper protection. Give this child a chance, if things do not work out give it up for adoption and I would suggest open adoption, this way you can still see the baby and know he or she is being taken care of.
You should go to social services, they can help you with free insurance to cover your pregnancy and the baby when it is born
2007-01-16 06:31:51 · answer #2 · answered by Diamonds_Glow 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hon, Naturally its your discission. Yeah your BF helped you put it in there. But he's not the one whose gonna have all the emotions if you do get an abortion and regret it later.. or vise versa. If money is a worry, Try calling Social Services and see what is available to help you out (WIC, Medicaid, etc). Not many ppl like doing this but if its going to help you have your child and you really dont want to give it up.. then go for it! :) It doesnt make you a bad person becuase you'd rather get help then give up your child. Sit down and tell him TRUELY how you feel about the idea of an abortion, also tell him you understand where he's coming from, but if you are really not sure to do this.. i dunno if abortion is the right idea. There is the idea of Adoption.. But me.. I couldnt go carrying my baby for 9 months then giving it to someone else but i never could go through with an abortion either. (which is why we have 3 children and another on the way! But my Husband and I love everyone of them!) But like i said, the discission is yours dont let your BF pressure you into doing something your not wanting to do! I hope this helps and Good Luck!
2007-01-16 06:25:56 · answer #3 · answered by alysza81 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abortion is something you have to live with for the rest of your life... and it will be much more difficult for you than him. If you decide to have an abortion to make him happy... you can expect your relationship to become very rocky.... you will probably feel very resentful, especially if you have an hesitation about the abortion. But, on the other hand.... if you keep the baby he may feel resentment, or he may love his baby.
Four months is a very new relationship still.... he's right to be concerned about finances, and being ready for a baby. This baby will change the dynamic of your relationship. My baby's Dad wanted an abortion at first... but I told him I was gonna have this baby with or without him... he came around about 4 months into the pregnancy, and is absolutely crazy about his baby girl now.
Life brings a lot of surprises.... sometimes really good surprises.
2007-01-16 06:13:35 · answer #4 · answered by naenae0011 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to the answer you are giving yourself! Don't get an abortion just because of low cash flow. This is something that you guys got yourselves into and now you will have to work together as a couple to move forward with life. The government has many programs available for women that are pregnant- there are free programs to get you through your pregnancy healthy and have your baby healthy. Check out the county health departments for "family planning" - they will be able to direct you in the right direction and probably even be able to help you get on WIC and maybe food stamps if necessary. Be adults about it- if you were adults enough to have sexual intercourse, you should be adult enough to raise a child together.
Good luck!
-EA
2007-01-16 06:12:56 · answer #5 · answered by Earthy Angel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is the problem with having unprotected sex before you are ready for kids. Think about it long and hard. What are you going to do if you have an abortion, how much guilt will you feel? If you have the baby, and give it up for adoption, are you going to want the baby back? It is a tough decission... Dont take it lightly, next time think of birthcontrol before it is to late.
2007-01-16 06:30:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely, adoption! And there is something you might not realize about some of the adoption agencies. The agencies will often give you money to cover health care costs and living expenses during the pregnancy. Of course, the purpose is to help ensure a healthy baby, but if money is tight, it obviously helps you as well.
Please take this approach. Talk to your doctor/health clinic about adoption agencies. You'll feel so much better about yourself in years to come.
Edit: "No adoption." .... Why?
2007-01-16 06:14:56 · answer #7 · answered by kathy_is_a_nurse 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you shouldn't get an abortion just because your boyfriend wants you to get one.
It's your body, not his.
If he really loves you, he'll accept whatever comes of the situation, whether you suffer with a child, or advance without.
Four months is kind of early in a relationship to be thinking about having a child.
2007-01-16 06:12:28 · answer #8 · answered by ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you do not want an abortion or feel uncomfortable with it do not do it.
you don't want to regret something that permanent, there are always sources to help financially with insurance (i.e. state). never do something unless you are 100% sure you will be fine with the outcome. my cousin had an abortion b/c her mom told her to not b/c she wanted to b/c she wan't sure financially if she could handle it, now she wishes she would have never went through with it but it is to late.
personally i feel that abortion is wrong (unless raped or something), my bf didn't want a child when i became pregnant, now he has a daddy's little girl that he can't say no to for the life of him. ya its scary at first but its a beautiful experience, i couldn't have lived with myself if i had aborted especially now watching her grow up and talk and give hugs and kisses.
good luck
2007-01-16 06:14:12 · answer #9 · answered by emery_sage 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what YOU feel. Don't get an abortion if you don't want one. If you break up with your boyfriend, your child will live long after and will have a life long after 4 months. Consider that his/her life is separate from your relationship even though it will affect it.
2007-01-16 06:09:11 · answer #10 · answered by 1 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋