when ur husband had an affair with someone should you forgive him?

Answer 1

Yes you should.

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Answer 2

So complex, so many possible outcomes. Still my answer is NO.
Trust has been broken. Once forgiven, he will feel like this behavior CAN come to an agreeable conclusion. How can you ever trust him again? And if you do trust him, wont you always be wondering (and if you leave your self open to naievete it can easilly happen again).Yes having this affair exposes weaknesses in your marriage that sometimes can be worked out. I simply have never known a happy ending where 15-20 years down the line it doesnt all end in divorce anyway. I live in an area where the men move constantly - africa, asia, russia and the women dont or cant follow because of the kids. I have heard horrific stories of company sanctioned support for prostitutes as these keep their working men happy. How can a wife fight against a man who is away for so long- it is not possible and men simply do not have internal or moral strength to remain so celibate. Sadly, so many of these women are bible thumpers and yet a large percentage of these situations end in bitter divorce.

My advice, let the man you marry know upfront that you are a practicing member of the bobbit club, remind him once in a while, and that will keep him on track.

Answer 3

Absolutely NOT.Cheating is the deepest form of disrespect and dishonesty that a human being can display.I'm sorry my dear but if your husband was able to sleep with another women then he clearly does not truely love you.I don't care what his reasons were there is NO excuse for being unfaithful.If you do not have trust in your marriage then I am sorry to say but then you have nothing because trust is everything.If my husband ever cheated on me it would be OVER no questions asked for the simple fact that I could never trust him again.You deserve better do not allow him to treat you like a door mat.It will be hard but you need to move on and find the man that is going to love you 100% and treat you with the respect and dignity that you deserve.Your husband has flushed the respect and trust that you deserve right down the toilet when he cheated on you.Don't be the other woman in his life let him go.Good luck to you.And one more thing if you have children together that is NOT a reason to stay with him.If you do think about the morals and values you are instilling in your children.Staying together because of having children is the worst mistake you can make.

Answer 4

Going through the same thing as we speak. Its really hard, but if he is truley remorseful then maybe you should try to give him another chance. Make him prove to you how sorry he is and prove his love for you. A lot of people say that their marriages are better after getting over an affair than it was before...I hope so! It is so easy for someone that has not been in that situation to spit out'Leave the scumbag or move on" Its a lot easier said than done. He has to be completely honest and forthcoming with you from this point. I am praying for you and your family and I hope it all works out.

Answer 5

Well, of course you should forgive him! However, whether or not you should stay with him is another matter. It depends on how much damage YOU feel he has done to the love you have for him, and whether you will be able to trust him if he says he won't do it again.
Forgiving him means freeing yourself from the pain of maintaining a grudge against him. Forgiving him means getting over what he did and moving on...with or without him. However, if you don't think he can be faithful, you shouldn't let him hurt you like this again.

Answer 6

It's not should you forgive him it's CAN you forgive him. Take it from someone that knows. Trying to make a marriage work after an affair is difficult and creates more trauma in your life. But if you can get past the affair then go for it. In my case I just can't get past it!

Answer 7

Only you can answer that. How do you feel? This is not a poll type question/answer sort of situation, because everyone has an opinon, but they don't have the facts. You must take time to yourself, hurt, cry, be angry and laugh it out of your system. This may take 1 day, 2 weeks, 3 months or 1 year+, don't rush it, because if you rush it, it will not be well in your soul. I am a big believer of pros and cons list. What do you like about your husband? What don't you like about him? How many times has he cheated? Why did he cheat? You have to ask all these questions of yourself and then sit and talk with him and ask the same question. It is unacceptable that he cheated at all, but you want to know and you feel you must know. I am sorry this is happening to you, but if you have had some wonderful times and children and the love that you have felt all this time and this is a one time thing, please consider all options. But seriously only you can answer this question, not your friends, relatives or even your kids, because you know the trust you have had for him. The world wanted to know why Hiliary stayed with Bill, but only she knows. Best of Luck.

Answer 8

Just like everything else in life, it all depends.
It depends on:

Do you have children?
Did he repeatedly have sex with others or have an ongoing affair or was it a stupid drunken one time incident?
Do you still love him, does he still love you?
Is he sorry and want to make things work?
Are you the type of person that can forgive and not make his life hell forever by reminding him constantly or making him feel like crap all the time?
Will you be able to survive fiancially without him if you divorced?
How long will the divorce take and can you afford the lawyer?

Many will say no question about it you must divorce, but is it worth it to have a broken home, the kids are hurt and confused, you are living in an apartment you can't afford after seperating, you now have to work and not see your children as much, especially if he is remorseful and wants to make things work.
It's all what you are willing to put yourself and your family through. I know it must be very painful and you nauseated by his actions and your heart is broken. But we all make mistakes, just weigh the pros and cons and then make the decision. No one should tell you what to do, you know yourself what is best for your family.

Answer 9

You stood before God and made that vow to stick it out girl. He broke a vow already by having an affair ... that's something he'll have to work out with his God. You guys probably need therapy of some sort, and an open line of communication. At least make the effort to stick it out. If he really loves you and is really sincerely apologetic about it, try. If he just thinks that he can do what he wants cuz he's a man ... I'd say you'd need to make the best decision for YOU, since he's decided to opt out of the marriage.

Answer 10

In my opinion I could never forgive my husband...you took vows...he broke them...how would you know that he would never do it again? I wouldn't be able to even look him in the eyes or become intimate with him after he shared something with someone else that is only supposed to be shared with me. Abuse and Adultery should not be forgiven. They say you can forgive but you will never forget. How would you continue a marriage when it's always in the back of your mind. It's just not healthy. Marriage is based on trust and obviously that was lost.

Answer 11

Yes and no. Try to get to the route of why he had an affair. Is he a sex addict? Would you leave him if he was an alcoholic? Is he a just a jerk? Would you stay with a jerk?
Do you want the marriage to work? If so suggest counseling. If he's not willing then leave. If counseling doesn't work then leave. If you're willing to put up with him having fun on the side don't be afraid to get your own.