My boyfriend is amazing loves me with all his heart and treats me great but since we've been together (8 months) he has lost 3 jobs. He dropped out of school in 9th grade. He doesnt activally look for work as much as he needs to. We got an apartment together and I'm paying all the bills. Should I break up with him cause he can't keep a job?
2007-01-16 05:24:19 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Oh girl! Tell him to step it up or get the heck out! I've been there ... love don't pay the rent honey! And you can't do it all by yourself because you will end up HATING him and feeling resentment. Try talking to him about what he can do to better himself educationally. Maybe he can try taking a course in something that interests him that could lead him to finding a job that he'd WANT to be at! If he just refuses to work and carry his load ... sorry to say it but he's got to go!
2007-01-16 05:37:57 · answer #1 · answered by msdrdn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Geez, I went through this same thing. But I decided to stay with him. We've now been together almost 8 years and he has a great job, takes care of me and his business and is what I always thought he could live up to. Now, your boyfriend may not be the same kind of person though. You really haven't been with him long enough to decide and probably should not have moved in with him. It is going to stress you out so much and put a BIG strain on your relationship if he continues to be jobless, lazy and you left paying the bills. Hopefully he'll realize what a great person he is with and will get a good job to help you out. But you need to talk to him about it now. The more you let him continue to be this way, the more he is going to think he can do whatever he wants.
2007-01-16 05:33:40 · answer #2 · answered by Les 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him and you guys have a good relationship going then No.. Your supposed to be there for your man and help and support him when he's down and out not abandon him because He's lost jobs,try and look at it this way at least he's trying to work and not just sit around not doing anything at least give him the benefit of the doubt there, because if you break up with him and get with guys who has Jobs and pays well but treats you bad or doesn't love you then you'll look back and regret the decision you made and it might be too late.
2007-01-16 05:34:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should give him a final chance to do better, both of you should really try and sit down and discuss the pattern of why he keeps losing his jobs, is it because of one problem like coming to work late constantly or a series of different issues work hard to help him improve on them, if not, and things dont improve you should consider finding someone else before you get way over your head, what if children come into the mix, things can get alot worse than they already are as he will not be a reliable provider.
If you feel confident paying all the bills and its not to much of a strain on you, does he provide for you in other ways that make up for his continual failure in keeping a job , like keeping the house clean, being a good partner to you and so on...
2007-01-16 05:34:05 · answer #4 · answered by Jackie N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends what you want from the relationship.
Is he a great home-maker?
When he isn't working, does he look after the house, clean, make you dinner?
Perhaps that is where his talent lies.
Maybe he needs to take a part-time job, so he can take care of the house - he may be the ideal house-husband if you have kids, assuming you don't mind being the breadwinner.
After all, it's not always both partners that have to work.
Sit down and talk it through together about what you both want for the future. Good luck to you.
2007-01-16 05:31:55 · answer #5 · answered by iiitttsssaaadoozy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. It kinda sounds as if he's ok with not holding down a job cuz you'll take care of him. I'd have him move back in with his parents until he can find a job, its too much for one person to pay two people's bills!
I had a boyfriend once that he told me it would be my fault if he didn't become a professional soccer player if I expected him to pay his half of the bills. I tried to break up with him and it took a very long time because he beat the crap out of me and left me bloody and for dead in the road.
Be careful and stand up for yourself.
I wish you luck.
2007-01-16 05:32:21 · answer #6 · answered by Sweet! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No,ofcourse not. Try to encourage him in this difficult time of his life and help him finding a job. It is not very easy to find a guy that will truely love you, just try to explain him that you love him very much but he really needs to find a job in order to be confident and help at the bills of the house. If you both have a job,you will have sufficient money to make a family after years or get married . I am sure you will finally convince him. Good luck!
2007-01-16 05:35:05 · answer #7 · answered by ....................... 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing like lowered expectations. If you are comfortable being the only one doing the work and being responsible. If you like the idea of sleeping with someone you can probably claim as a dependent on your taxes.
If you plan on carrying him for the rest of his life, then sure keep the pathetic slob around for some snuggles.
2007-01-16 05:30:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's nice that he says loves you, but a man who truly loved a woman would actually act like a man- he's mooching off you, and probably getting sex, too. How is that "treating you great"? He's nice enough to you so you'll keep paying his way and having sex with him.
Break up- he's a loser. A total, complete and utter loser. And for God's sake, don't feel sorry for him!
2007-01-16 05:30:06 · answer #9 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me give you a little bit of advice, run, run as far away as you can. I have the same situation but now it's turned into 8 years and 2 small children. I kept hoping he'd get a job and do what he was supposed to but still hasn't happened. RUN GIRL RUN!!!
2007-01-16 05:30:13 · answer #10 · answered by JAN W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋