How do I deal with my son and an adult drawing I found he made?

Question

I just found a pencil drawing that my 13 year old son made. A few drawings of nude women with big breasts. One of a nude man and a nude woman standing in front of each other. The man has an erect penis. I don't know what to say to him about this. I also have a 10 year old daughter at home. This drawing wasn't hidden and it's not one that I would appreciate my daughter finding. Any guidance here would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

Thats a part of growing up i think you shuld have the "talk" with him if you havnt had it yet

Answer 2

I think you're blowing things out of proportion.. your son is 13, and I think it's healthy that he has a working knowledge of intimacy and sex. He obvioulsy understands that it's men and women, and unless he's drawing things that are extremely lewd, you shouldn't have to say anything other than " I like your artwork, but I don't think it's something that you should by lying around for your little sister to find'

As for the big breasts and erect penis, overexaggeration of breasts is common for teenage boys..it's normal, so don't worry about it, and the erect penis.. well, perhaps he's at that age where it's starting to happen to him when he gets aroused (it was going to happen sooner or later)

You don't have to embarass him or yourself by talking about anything unecessary (although if you haven't had the talk with him, then it IS time).. just let him know that his artwork isn't appropriate for everyone, and to please keep it in his room (which should be a place that is private)

Answer 3

I understand about your concern especially since you have a young daughter in the house, it seems that your son does not know the difference between appropriate and inappropriate actions. There is nothing wrong with his drawings, (I remember in college i actually had to do some nude drawings myself) but at his age, I'm not sure he is been artistic or what! What's going on in his mind? sit down and talk to him first and ask about his feelings and reason for his drawings... Then ask him to please keep his "nude" art away from the view of children. I don't want to read too much into the nude drawings but if your child is isolating himself, seems distant, confused or distracted you may want to have a child therapist or counselor talk to him.

Answer 4

You need to sit down with him and tell him that you do not allow that kind of drawings. Maybe ask what made him draw them? Are there any magazines or movies that you have or his friends have that they are looking at? If it was at a friends house you need to talk to the friends parents and see what they are going to do. You should probably watch what TV shows or movies are being watched when he is around...some Cable companies have parental controls that you can limit those things being viewed without your control. Make sure that you do this to any computers that have access to porn sides...block myspace from computers also, there is a new one something like friendspace? Monitar IM messages and emails that are going back and forth. There is also a computer program called webspy? that you can get info on what sites are being viewed so that they can be blocked!

Good Luck! Please know that you are doing the right thing by taking charge and being the parent! I am proud of you!

Answer 5

My son is also an "artist", though he hasn't begun exploring the human body yet. I think your son is perfectly normal. At 13 he is probably noticing the changes he and his friends are going through. Thier bodies are maturing and his art work is probably how he deals with all the confusing feelings he has. Maybe you should just have a little talk about where he should keep his artwork, and why he chose nude bodies. Just be careful not to sound judgemental or worried. This may just be how your son chooses to express himself. Maybe he has other artwork you haven't seen. Don't jump to conclusions or be accusatory. You may be raising the next Picasso.

Answer 6

It sounds like your son has been exposed to some sort of pornographic pictures. Boys at this age are fascinated with nude magazines. It is very likely that one of his friends has managed to get hold of one. the fact that he draws pictures is a good indication that he has an interest in sexually related conversation. This is normal at this age.
It may be just the right time to sit down and talk to your son about sex, and the possible inappropriateness it carries. He needs to understand that it is OK to have an interest, but it is not OK to do it in such a way that it may offend anyone. For example, your daughter, or any other female for that matter. There is a good chance that he may know more than you think he does. Sexual understanding at an early age can pose a problem, since they think they know it all. Make sure he understands the possible consequences related to sex, such as pregnancy, and STD's. These are the facts that kids this age often lack.

Answer 7

Well i think you should simply say to him that you found the drawing and that from now on you want any nudes he does to be put up so his sister doesnt see them. Hes 13 and thinking about all kinds of new sexuality issues and this is one way he deals with it. I would not tell him he cant draw them anymore but just that he does need to put them away.

Answer 8

I'm 12 and suggest that you tell him about it. Talk to him that you are uncomfortable w/ these drawings and that you'd appreciate that if would draw them that he would keep them private and out of the way of his sister. Now, there is a trick to this part. Make a deal w/ him about what you guys are going to have to do, if he wants to continue to draw the pictures. These should include him and you having to have the discussion on sex(yes, don't sugar-coat it tell it straight like it is) and if you don't want him to draw the pictures, then you can decide these upon yourself. But, these are just building block ideas on what you could possibly do! ~ Lucy

Answer 9

I think you should praise him for being a such a good artist at the age of 13 but just tell him to put those drawing in a drawer because his sister is not old enough to see something like that but i think its great that he so good at a young age there is nothing wrong with the human body.

Answer 10

Difficult one, but he's now at an age where these things starts to interest him/his age group. Shocking as it is, but kids that young knows more than we would actually like them to know, so I don't think it's necessary for the birds & bees session. But I think it would be wise to try and find out what exactly he does know & answer his questions as honestly as possible. Seen that you've got a younger daughter, I think you (or hubby) should perhaps sit down with him & tell him that you'd rather him keep drawings like that in a safe place where his sister can't find it. Good luck with it - but I bet you'll feel much better once you've spoken to him!

Answer 11

hes 13, hes nearing his puberty and believe it or like it.. im sure he's already "experimented" by touching himself already. So he knows the jist of an erect penis. Time for a good heart to heart. Be sure he knows if he doesnt already, the correct sex advise. Also explain its ok to be curious but dont be crude. If he wants to draw (wether you like it or not) he needs to do it privately and that no one else appreciates the art here. He was mostly bored and feeling a bit "horny" perfectly normal... I guess I would have been more concerned had he been drawing that act of sex or anything more sinister. Sounds like normal early teenage angst.