One minute my husband acts like he is so in love with me; very attentive and affectionate and then the next he acts like he doesn't want me to touch him etc. Sometimes it seems like he tries to abuse me by totally ignoring me for no reason. When we get around other people he totally snaps out of this mood and then goes right back into it. Is this just a mind game or what?
2007-01-16 03:51:28 · 19 answers · asked by stella 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
FYI - Ignoring is not abuse. Maybe he does abuse you, but the ignoring is not a good example!
Sounds like he's really moody and has some emotional issues. He is the one that needs counseling, but you could both benefit from going, separatly or together.
2007-01-16 04:01:33 · answer #1 · answered by 12879 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's just got a volatile personality. Maybe he wants to be good (explaining the nice & attentive side) and has a fairly normal sex drive (explaining the affection) but just gets easily irritated or depressed. When he's acting strange, it's a fair question to just ask what his problem is. If there's never an answer, then insist on him getting some help ... but if he has an answer, be prepared to deal with it. He might have a problem with you that he's just been afraid to confront.
As a guy who's been in several relationships, I know that sometimes I've been angry about something that a girl said or did and just gave out the silent treatment instead of tellling her something she didn't want to hear. But that doesn't mean I wasn't in love or whatever, I just had an issue and wasn't dealing with it in the best way. And I consider myself a pretty nice guy, so it could happen to anybody.
2007-01-16 12:00:43 · answer #2 · answered by MikeTX 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It might not be a big problem however if you think it is you can go check with a doctor.
However, I'm guessing it's just a male thing where even if he loves a woman totally, he still wants his own personal space for some thinking quietly. He might ignore you for some time but the best thing you can do with that situation is just leave him alone for some time till he becomes normal again. This way you won't have to feel like he's ignoring deliberately over something you did wrong, etc and he could catch up on his thinking time. And ofcourse after he finishes with his alone time, he's right back at showing you his love nah?
2007-01-16 12:00:10 · answer #3 · answered by Lunais 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He acts affectionate in front of people but when you are alone he ignores you? Sometimes he is affectionate when you are at home without others around? is this when he is tryng to get sex?
If the answer to all thes questions is yes then you are in an abusive relationship, or at least with this data it seems that . Trying talking to him about it and see where that gets you. Wait till he is in a better mood, but not when he is in his best mood. If he refuses to talk about this without fighting seek counselling.
Good luck
Don't fight! Communicate.
2007-01-16 12:06:40 · answer #4 · answered by rcbricker33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's falling out of love with you and staying because of the kids. At least that's what it sounds like in my humble opinion. He doesn't enjoy being around you anymore. I got that way with my ex. We're divorced now. I don't want to come across as an A$$ to you, but it's probably the most truthful answer you're going to get. I bet the sex isn't lasting too long either huh? Sorry you had to go online and even ask, I've been there.
2007-01-16 11:56:42 · answer #5 · answered by skip_jiblett 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry but it sounds like you husband is putting on a act just like you say. He trying to love you but it doesn't sound like he does or maybe because he just doesn't know how to be the husband you want him to be. I suggest you get some professional marriage counseling to help you sort out the real issues. Good Luck.
2007-01-16 12:51:33 · answer #6 · answered by genuine1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that would depend on your husband and the only way to find out for sure is to ask him..
sometimes there is other circumstance as to why a man will do that and most the time they don't even realize they are doing it and they aren't doing it to intentionaly ignore you or make you feel unwanted.. sometimes they may not be feeling well and they do tend to withdrawl into themselves at that times which makes it seem like they don't want us around, which is what my boyfriend sometimes does and i know its just his health that makes him do that but it doesn't stop me from thinking that maybe he's ignoring me or just dont want me around which i know isn't true..
so the only way to know for sure is to talk to him about it.. tell him you can't read his mind when he acts like that and you're not into playing mind games to talk to you.. :)
Good luck. :)
2007-01-16 12:28:54 · answer #7 · answered by Mouseling 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People do need some personal space. If you are a clingy or needy person that likes lots of PDA, then that is a huge turn off.
You need to be conjoined at the heart and not a the hip. You guys don;t need to do EVERYTHING together! Being independent and confident is the best policy.
Good luck
2007-01-16 12:00:39 · answer #8 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's YOU. Seriously, it's both of you. You are thinking about yourself, and he's thinking about himself, and that's normal. The trick is going to be meeting your need for affection/attention so that he can get back to his self and vice versa.
Sometimes, it's easier to give the wife/gf a peck on the cheek and tell her how lucky you are to have her, so then you can get back to your paper or video games. Same thing in reverse. You both need time for yourselves, and you both need to deal with each other, and neither one of you wants the other one to be needy, but you just have to learn to deal with it.
2007-01-16 12:00:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like Depression or some Bi-polar issues are in the HOME......but you both should seek prefessional help here to see what you are bringing into this situation that is unhealthy.
2007-01-16 12:04:21 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋