I found out after my husband left for another woman that his mother is actually his father's second wife and that his mother was pregnant and had his sister before they were married and while his father was still married to the first wife and that his sister was two before his partents got married because of the delay in the divorce. Is it true that people from divorced families take divorce lightly? Guess I should have asked more questions before the wedding, huh?
2007-01-16 03:42:29 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It could have an affect on his attitude toward marriage, or what he expects of marriage.
2007-01-16 03:45:40 · answer #1 · answered by MOM KNOWS EVERYTHING 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It can. However, each person has the ability to control how they react to a situation. They can choose to run away from marriage completely, try marriage out and then get divorced, or find their soul mate and be truly happy for the rest of their lives. Parents are great role models, but so are other people in the family. My mom has been divorced since I was four, and my sister is working on her second divorce. I just keep in mind that my aunts and uncles have been married for fifty something years now. It gives me a lot to look forward too.
2007-01-16 12:39:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe it does. My parents have been married 53 years. I have 2 brothers both married 32 & 29 years, my youngest sister has been married 29 years. My oldest sister and I have been married twice, her first marriage lasted 6 years, then she divorced. Her second marriage lasted 20 and her husband died. I was married 3 years, divorced, remarried the same man 2 more years, divorced him again and then married my second husband for 20 years and I divorced him in "00". I am currently engaged, we've been together 4 years now. No Grandparent in my family was ever divorced, most celebrated 50+ years of marriage before they passed away. I do have Uncles, Aunts, cousins, neices and nephews that have divorced but they are spread out in different branches of the family (Mom's side as well as Dad's). There is no pattern. I can tell you that the females in the family that have divorced are head-strong, or strong willed and refused to become dormats or punching bags to their Ex's. The males that have divorced was due primarily to infidility by either themselves or their spouse.
2007-01-16 11:58:41 · answer #3 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could have an effect on your relationship especially with the way your husband might think of your marriage. However it's best to find out from him directly if he sees marriage lightly or seriously.
For one thing, he could believe that if one marriage doesn't work he could always divorce and have another one. If that's the case, you should remind him that marriage is forever and you would always love him no matter what. I guess the responsibility of making the marriage work lean on you more than him. If it is, then if you don't want divorce, you should make sure that he knows that you always love him even if you might have some squibbles in future.
If he takes marriage seriously, and doesn't want divorce, then your burden of the responsibility would be lighter and you both would make sure that your marriage stays strong.
Whatever happens, you must talk with him directly to know his feelings on the matter.
Good luck!
2007-01-16 11:55:33 · answer #4 · answered by Lunais 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, there are no guarantees in life that if something happened once that itll happen again under the right circumstances. Also someone has to always break the pattern,otherwise there wouldnt be exceptions. You just have to change your current mindset into believing youre going to have a long marriage. There will always be problems and challenges in any marriage but they dont necessarily spell divorce. Leave the negativity where it belongs, in the past and move on to a new direction.
2007-01-16 12:02:51 · answer #5 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can go both ways, but you are right.
My mother was married 3 times. There are times I think like her, when things get bad with my husband, that I could just run away. However, I truely love my husband, and believe in the sanctity of marriage. I know I am a stronger, better person and my relationship is better for sticking through the hard times.
But it's hard, and some people just can't help but choose the easy way out. It's what they learn.
2007-01-16 11:48:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family history takes a major part! My husband swore he would never get divorced but he ran away from his family just like his father did, and he comes running back just like his father did. Some people can not deal with being married for fear of failier since there parents failed.
...Sometims the acorn doesn't even fall from the tree!
2007-01-16 12:27:21 · answer #7 · answered by I♥Karma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oddly sometimes that unstable upbringing and drama makes a man want to keep even the most pointless, loveless marriage going. I knew one poor soul who's parents were legion, his parents had married three times each in 16 years, and he is in a marriage of convenience because of it. If you didn't know his family history of divorce and cheating, you didn't know him well enough to marry. Whichever way he was going to go, divorce -is -easy, or divorce -is- impossible, you would have known he had some thoughts on the subject and would have discussed expectations of behaviors.
2007-01-16 11:52:02 · answer #8 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's fair to say that people who are from divorced families take divorce lightly. I think a lot of people who as children were traumatized by their parents' divorce want to try very hard to avoid divorce when they get married.
2007-01-16 12:58:11 · answer #9 · answered by Karin C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
guess we just need to get to know them better, see what lies in their past, see how they treated other women, and see what their family was like. habits and ways of life are mostly the result of our belief system, gotten by how we were raised. we are a product of who raised us and taught us things. yes i do think some take divorce lightly, and will ask for a divorce in a heartbeat, when things are not going their way. my ex had been married 3 times before me, thought i was better than the ex's, and could be the one he loved, since he said he didn't love any of them, well i suffered the same fate as the other 3, and learned he cheated on each and every one of them, in reality i was no better than the others, no prettier, just thought i was, until he did the same to me. they say a fool always goes back to his own folly, so he went back to what he knew and the way he was rasied, and what was in his past.
2007-01-16 12:06:44 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think it makes them take marriage lightly...but I think it definately affects how they look at divorce...I came from a large family, and none of us had been divorced up into our late 30's....but once the first one did I guess it wasn't so taboo anymore because now more than half of us divorced
2007-01-16 11:55:17 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋