$900 a month child support AND child's daycare?

Question

I don't understand. How is it possible that I am paying the state guidelines for my salary every month, my soon to be ex has full custody of the 2 children, I get visitation, and she says part of the settlement includes even more expenses for day care, is this normal or true?

I feel like I am being reemed, I have not spoken to my attorney yet.

She is the one with the house, getting remarried, etc.

YEP -- to boot she does not even buy my son a new coat or shoes, hands it all down from her "other" older boys.

Sad, she says if he needs a new coat, BUY IT FOR HIM!@

Answer 1

by law she is entitled to child support but i believe most states ask for 17% for 1 child and i think is 33% for 2 or more, about the house if you 2 got it together then she either has to pay you your half or sell the property and divide as long as your kids have a place to stay and if she is getting remarried then make sure you find out about the house situation, if she wants to get married that is great but get legal advise, also if you allready giving her the childsupport she cant take you to court for more money unless you get a pay increase or a new job with more money****

Answer 2

well if you havent spoken to your attorney then how are you getting shafted? Speak up. You get what you deserve if you don't. You wouldn't be getting divorced/have child support/ lost the house without the help of an attorney so you must have spoken to one somewhere. What did you do that day in court...blank it all out? My ex had an attorney there from day one...why don't you..they tell you to get one before they proceed unless you are stubborn about it. Have you read the settlement? Again, if not, your fault. You can't get divorced and go thru all that without going to court unless you are ignoring the summons and then they have the right to rule against you since you are choosing not to defend yourself. And it is a normal amount for 2 kids, i am assuming if you are saying you pay by state guidlines. Are you carrying insurance, no mention of that so hope she doesn't. Who is paying the back bills? Is it her since she has the house and the equity? Or do you get the house back after a certain age of the kids. You seem to have been asleep thru all of this is you can't figure this out. And who gets reemed in this deal? You or the kids? Think about it.

Answer 3

Welcome to the real world of divorce and child support. What you describe sounds pretty normal for today. This is exactly why so many fathers are on Q&A complaining about how men are getting screwed in divorce court concerning child support. The really bad part here is she is not accountable for where the money actually goes, and there are thousands of horror stories about exactly where the money goes, and theres nothing we can do about it. So I seriousily doubt if your attorney can do anything about it. This is also why many guys stay in a terrible marriage so they wont lose all their money til the kids leave home. But what you have described is the norm. Sorry, I wish I had a better answer for you and hopefully someday real soon the courts will catch up to reality. Also the courts dont really care much about how you pay it or how much damage it does to you financially, as long as you pay it,and also there is no place on earth you can hide from child support either. Law enforcement officials worldwide treat child support skippers worse than any killer.

Answer 4

Go get a lawyer. It also depends on the divorce laws which differ from state to state. At least she isn't entitled to alimony/income disparity pay since she's remarrying. GET LEGAL HELP NOW. Hopefully they will be able to do damage control. But understand that you are responsible for the welfare of your children. If you don't want to pay, then maybe you should go for joint custody. Remember though, it's a lot easier to fork over money than it is to raise your kids. My best friends ex husband wanted joint custody. She agreed. After 7 months, he begged for visitation and to pay child support as it was much easier to hand over his paycheck than to actually have to spend 50% of the time with and raise his own kids. Too hard for him.

Answer 5

i think if i were in your shoes i would keep it the way it is. but maybe around tax season , if you claim the baby maybe splitting 60 - 40 or 70- 30. i just feel like if you are legitatemely using the money for the baby then oh well. cost of living is expensive in NY. i live in MD and pay 200 a week for daycare. plus i have one on the way. im married to my kids father but stil its financially difficult. i hear its hard to get child support raised in NY. so maybe if you dont need it raised, u wont have to. plus be mindful the amount you get is based on how much he makes! so the more OT he works the next time you go for a hearing, you could get more because it shows he made more. most cops in that situation have roomates and even live with their folks. also. if you got a better paying job and geniunely didnt need it, then you can lower it. but i feel like as long as that money is legietmly being used for the baby...then oh well!

Answer 6

Is your soon-to-be ex going to work, to support herself and your two children? Because if she is, how can she go to work without arranging for child care during the day? If she isn't going to be working, and rather living off your dime in alimony, and still wants to pay for child care, then yes, I agree that is BS. But if she is going to be working while taking care of your two children, I do think it is only right that you contribute to the cost of the child care. This is in addition to paying a portion of her rent/mortgage, and groceries, clothing, etc for the children.

Answer 7

You should not be paying for 100% of the child's daycare. You need a better lawyer and need to examine your decree. You should pay at most 50% - the child care is a SHARED expense unless you are making 500K a year and she is handicapped.

Answer 8

I don't know where you live - but in most states there is a magic number of over night stays......that means if you meet this number - you get "shared econ. responsibility"....Child support drops to the bare bone...

Find out the overnight number in your state, research the law in regards to denying parenting time. Then fight like H E L L....

Answer 9

900 for two kids? That is quite a bargain. My ex pays 700 for just one child.

Being generous to your own children is the least youc an do.

Good luck

Answer 10

Well my boy friend went threw a really nasty divorce and his ex wanted alot of support money and he had a really good lawyer and he had it set up they both had joint custody and his 300.00 month child support got payed to day care only ..she did get any money for child support it gets payed to day care only but they have = custody and he gets the kids tuesday and wensday and every other weekend . see if you can set up somthing like that !

Good luck
P.s.s if you have any thing to prove she is unfit mom use it .