My husband and I got our first joint acct back in august of last year. We both agreed that we knew we would have alot of extra money and just put it into savings, and we both agreed that we should keep 50 dollars a week into our personal accts for things that we want on our own. He keeps spending money on crap for his mp3 player, and we never have money to put into savings after all our bills are paid. AND THEN HE WONDERS WHY WE DONT!!! I havent spent any of OUR money on my stuff. What can I say that wont sound demanding, or mean to make him understand he needs to stop spending OUR money on crap so we can actually save money? Last time I approached him about this, I mustve said it the wrong way because he went off on a tangent about how when he had a seperate acct, he had alot of extra money! And then recomended that we get sep accts again!!! PLEASE HELP!
2007-01-16 03:03:41 · 16 answers · asked by Angel Eve 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It sounds like he had all his ducks in a row when the new joint account was opened... Maybe you should put the money in the savings account upfront before the money goes into the checking... and if you are short for bill paying you can easily move some monies back into checking from savings... This way he'll have to pay attention to the bills before maybe buying more toys...
2007-01-17 06:25:40 · answer #1 · answered by deakjone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, get rid of the joint account access and only let him get to his personal account and then you pay all the bills.
OR -
Figure out what your monthly bills amount to...keep that plus another 1-2 hundred dollars in it for wierd stuff that happens (overage on cell phone or the such) Have you set allowance transfered to your personal accounts and then have the rest automatically transfered into a savings account that has to have both signatures to access or has little/no ability to be accessed by him.
OR
Get seperate accounts again, Have him be responsible for a certain amount of bills, same for you (divided by income??). Require that a certain amount from each account be automatically transfered to a savings account that isn't super easy to get into
Sound harsh but obviously doing things the nice way means you have no money. Sit down with a financial counselor, maybe it will help to hear from another party. Hope this helps!
2007-01-16 03:38:41 · answer #2 · answered by emtalex 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a lot different being married and not having your own account and being able to spend your money as you like. A budget may be a good idea. Or else perhaps some form of financial counseling as a way for both to open your eyes to the reality of the money coming in and going out. Best of luck with this matter as it is pretty normal for one partner to outspend the other.
2007-01-16 03:09:37 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would take his "advice": Get separate accounts again. Designate to each of you who will be responsible for what bills. To make thinks interesting, I would start marking with tape things that are "yours" and "his". Then, just to scare the holy hell out of him, I would have a legal agreement drawn up akin to a pre-nup, which states from now on, your bank account/savings belongs to you and his belongs to him along with a list of assets that you have paid for that officially belong to you. Have the entire house divided in to yours and his. See what his reaction is to that. When he wonders what the hell you're doing, tell him you're just trying to protect your money should anything happen and make it fair since both of your spending habits differ vastly. Be very calm and matter of fact about it. Let him to all the yelling. Then ask what he's getting all bent out of shape about - he's the one that suggested it.
2007-01-16 03:17:18 · answer #4 · answered by Lilith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him have his "own acct". mines is awful, and once i realized how awful he is with his money, i took over. it helped that i was a bank teller and very good with my own finances. if you are worried things wont get paid, demand, as soon as he gets his money, his half/quarter of whatever he pays with you. even dr. phil suggests couples have thier own accounts.
you can also set up your savings acct to where no money can be taken out of it. like putting it on hold, or frozen.
oh and if he falls short on something he wants, dont bail him out! let him know if he wants extra he has to know how to save it...
2007-01-16 03:15:59 · answer #5 · answered by Essence V 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How bout Direct Deposit all money except $50 from each of your paychecks into joint banking account. He will start to realize how much money he's spending. Hope this helps.
2007-01-16 03:12:01 · answer #6 · answered by Stratus_99_1998 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I are the same way, we make up budgets and then don't stick to them and he gets mad when I tell him he can't buy some outrageous thing......I'm at my wits end. I decided what I'm going to do is just not stress about it and let him get what ever he wants and then when we are broke living paycheck to paycheck, and he complains, it'll be nobody's fault but his own for his foolish spending.
2007-01-16 03:25:04 · answer #7 · answered by akv_8781 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe getting separate accounts again would help. If not, tell him he can't dip into the joint account for personal things - end of story.
2007-01-16 03:08:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
BIG MISTAKE get your own bank account then if he wants to spend money let him but make sure you keep some in your account at all times...
2007-01-16 03:08:13 · answer #9 · answered by gblue52 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your words in your profile are. I'm 26, Happily MARRIED to a compassionate, charming, understanding 29yr old man who lets me be myself and doesn't judge me
Maybe he's not so unerstanding after all. Or maybe your'e not
2007-01-16 03:47:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋