How do you mend a broken Heart?

Question

How do I explain this to my children.....to myself....after 14 years...it's over. He never loved me. How do you stop loving someone who doesn't love you?

Answer 1

The best way to get over it is to find something else to occupy your time and thoughts so that you don't think about it.

Get out and do things to keep your mind off of him. Take community classes or join a softball team, bridge club.
This is a good time to get involved in some projects you may have been putting off.

If you have to tell your kids why their father left that's a little harder. It might be better to stay vague on the reasons for it.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

You mend a broken heart by understanding that though somebody else seems to have dropped and broke it you are ultimately responsible for keeping it broken (you allowed it to break in the first place, oh yes! only you can give meaning to a broken heart by holding on to the belief that it is so). If they are too young, your children do not need an explanation but a strong role model who stands up on their own two feet when the going gets tough without playing victim even under unfair circumstances- after-all your love for them was not dependent upon your spouse being there and neither is theirs for you or your spouse. If they are of age talk to them without laying blame as they will soon understand the complexities of relationships and make up their own minds. That is the best gift you can give your children to fight the good fight and reach for the sky because they can and they are worth it. I know this sounds harsh and I do not mean to belittle your predicament but the sooner you accept what is the sooner you can move on and the less damage you will do your children emotionally (I can not fully understand exactly what you are going through but I can imagine how unbearable it must feel for you right now) . You are not alone... take courage in that.

Answer 4

The best way honesty he is the one who is not drawing them together. it's difficult for you know and your children. but there are always times when things go wrong. When rough times come. They need to know what is coming to them. Your Relationship and associations with him are important to them.
Is there something or someone you want? Well, it's pretty much hopeless; for that person or thing, that is. In other words, your wish is the world's command and what you want is only a heartbeat away from becoming a reality. Your quick mind is much more attractive than you realize, so use your wit with care you wouldn't want everyone to fall in love with you, would you? There will be many hidden romantic opportunities you just need to be flexible and spontaneous in order to take advantage of them. It's time to trade whispers with someone you've been trying to get close to for some time. Hiding out behind closed doors isn't much fun, unless you have someone to hide out with. Forgiving and forgetting aren't the most natural actions for you while you're unswervingly loyal to those you love, you can also be unyielding as rock to those you think have done you wrong.
Direct your bountiful energy toward giving others a hand, and if you feel yourself overheating, walk away for a few minutes. The intensity doesn't stop midweek; remember that being vulnerable and willing to compromise is as courageous as any big, bold move. It's about time to get to know yourself, don't you think?

Answer 5

Maybe do this, Write down all the happy times you shared together in the last 5 years. Not that many? well who is being duped buy whom about being in love?

Whilst it seems hard to overcome you have to take a stand and realize it's over and start the healing process so you can move on. Be comforted in the knowledge that there are more than one person in life that you can fall in love with and have them be in love with you.

This may be the opportunity to find your self and take up a social hobby that gets you meeting people. Dancing, tennis, buy a dog and walk in the Park with it that way you will encounter lots of new people that will engage you in chat and give you the opportunity to rebuild your life. I bought a Dalmation, and never miss out on people wanting to know about him. From this i have made many new friendships and started on a new road to recovery.

Answer 6

That's a very complicated series of questions and none of them have easy answers. There is no easy way to stop loving someone without taking a hostile or detracted state of mind...but you should be both considering. You're better than that! You loved and gave, he abandoned you, be angry and think of yourself and your youngsters. There is a whole world out there, believe it or not, and maybe you were meant for someone better, someone that isn't going to bail on you and yours.
There's a precious human heart and soul, a mother to your children and a very important person in you. Move on, hope time will heal you, and it will (I know), and focus on your children and their futures. Family bonds help a lot, not to mention a little ire and a great deal of pride.

Answer 7

Time heals. Moving forward and not spending time living in regret. Making the best out of a bad situation. Concentrate on your children by doing family oriented--game night, etc. Perhaps some counseling if you can't seem to move on and get over it. Whatever you do, don't burden your children with your problems. Seek out a good support system for yourself--family, friends.

Answer 8

TIME it will takes time because you didn't just started loving him the moment you were born did you?? So as you were growing up learning about yourself and falling in love too having a family so it'll hurt like hell for a very long time and don't be in a rush to gets back into the dating pool just take care of your kids and yourself and start all over again. Learning about yourself and maybe falling in love again.
So Hang in there and don't forget to talks to your girlfriends/family so you are not alone.

Love and Peace in 2007 :-)

Answer 9

I joined a gym, changed my hair style and bought new clothes. I also went on a trip with my sister were we met alot of people and still have contact with a few. As for your children, don't give them the dirty details, just make sure they don't think it is their fault. I did things with my daughter on the weekend that she enjoyed.

Answer 10

If you have fights every day with your husband and divorce because of that, the children will be only sad for about a month, then they'll get over it. It's sometimes better that way.