Last Friday after a big arguement about my family he packed his stuff and left our two lil boys and I. The fight was both of our faults and he had warned me it was coming; I didn't understand what the problem was. I do now and I have tried to explain that I will not let it happen again. I want him to come back, but he claims he doesn't know if he can because he doesn't want to continue to be treated the way he was being treated. I suggested we go and talk to someone, but he doesn't think it will help. He has been here a few times to watch the boys so I could go to work and has even tried to have sex with me. I'm just afraid of what he is doing when he is not around us or at work. Does he have a girlfriend? Does he want to be with us? He won't talk to me much about the whole situation.
I have tried to stay strong, but it hurts like crazy. What do I do; I just want him to come home? How can I show him this?
2007-01-16 02:31:02 · 8 answers · asked by turtlegirl247 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You just need to be patient here and give him a little time to sort things out. From what youve said I seriousily doubt he has a girlfriend. This is his way of trying to control you and the situation. It sounds like the macho male thing where hes going to show you that hes not a doormat and not letting you step on him. I know this is not the situation but in his mind,it is. It sounds like hes dying to come home but his pride wont let him til hes absolutely sure. Just use this time to yourself and think things out too so youre ready when he does come home. Men are like little kids, they really hate losing their security blanket, so this is really bothering him as much as it does you. Be patient and good luck
2007-01-16 02:45:48 · answer #1 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something is up if he told you it was coming. Sounds like he wants to be able to do whatever without being tied down, but yet he still wants you if he is willing to try and have sex. I know it hurts, been there done that. Just try to be the best mom you can be to those two lil boys. They need you right now since dad has walked out. If the fight was both of your faults, how come he is the only one being treated bad? It always takes two. If he isnt willing to see a counselor, then its not worth hanging onto him or the fact of him being there. File for divorce.
2007-01-16 02:44:22 · answer #2 · answered by themom95 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him go . Then you go and file for divorce . You take him for everything and the reason for the divorce should be abbdonment . yes he abandoned you and the kids . What the heck are you doing letting him back in the home to watch your boys you need to stop that . He is the one who left . Let him see the consequences of his actions . dont you dare sit there and blame yourself for what happened it takes two to tango and he is as much to blame . He sounds like a child who has had their feelings hurt . Well you have feelings too and so do your kids . Never forget that . You have 2 lil boys to take care of and remember that . your husband is selfish and immature . You need to get up on your feet and dump this loser !!!!No you dont want him coming home cause he does not want to be there . give him his freedom get a divorce . good luck .
2007-01-16 03:23:25 · answer #3 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello!
I agree that the best thing for you both is to find a Professional marriage councilor but verbally let him know that you are sorry for anything you have done and would like to work things out together. Ask for forgiveness from him for the things that have hurt him and let him know that you also forgive him for things he may have done to you. Start the relationship over fresh and leave the past in the past. Communication is the most important in any relationship and not letting things get to a point where they blow up. Never use the children to keep your relationship together, it should be love that keeps it together because the children will grow up someday and leave home to start their own families.
God Bless You!
2007-01-16 02:59:14 · answer #4 · answered by Rev. B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the biggest reason why men leave their wives, isn't the disagreements, or the hard times, but because they are in another relationship already, that has been in the works awhile, one we certainly didn't know about. they always explain why they are gone, always can find a reason, usually they blame it on something we did or said, but it really isn't about us, its about him and some other woman out there that is pulling on his heartstrings, showing him nothing but good, and wanting him as their own. pretty hard to fight this, we have 2 choices, wait it out, hope he will return, or divorce him and don't put up with it, either way we are hurt no matter what choice we make. depends on how much u love him. in reality if the problem was u he would be only happy if u were wanting to make changes, and work on the marriage, he refuses to come back, because it isn't about u, the reason he is with someone else, and is enjoying it.
2007-01-16 02:51:43 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have each spectacular to be offended and however the anger you experience creates a chemical imbalance interior the physique and it fairly is felt by using the infant it fairly is all approximately you presently not HIM once you detect your ideas wandering to him determine you think of approximately you and the youngsters... permit it bypass all you may till after the infant is born..you dont ought to torture your self with negativity mutually as waiting to exoerience a miracle adult males do bypass off the deep end right this moment from time to time and that they get emotional, thinking they are trapped, or in a rut or getting older or assorted issues. yet in spite of he's thinking or dong, it fairly is all approximately you and your happiness and your infants. you decide on help and help an d optimistically you're growing to be it from acquaintances or family members you're mature and you're somewhat good and you will place self belief in your self and that's so significant
2016-10-31 06:24:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both need to change (marriage counseling) but you also need to hold your ground to (no sex). If someone leaves there are no fringe benefits (good for you) and you are correct in assuming you don't know what he's doing with whomever. Let him be for awhile and see if he changes his way of thinking? Try not to think about how lonely you are and think of those little boys. Be strong and good luck!
2007-01-16 02:44:50 · answer #7 · answered by beamer 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do not obsess with the situation. Stay super busy doing your thing and do not call him. If you start calling him and bothering him, you are doomed. Silence is the ultimate weapon and he will eventually come to his senses. Also, pray and leave it in God's control.
2007-01-16 03:20:29 · answer #8 · answered by Lucci 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋