Well you guys, I don't understand what is going on. I am a young lady in my mid. 20's and I find it hard to stop thinking about women. I have dreams that are some how inappropiate, but I don't feel bad about having them. There is probably not a day that doesn't go by that I don't think about a woman.I have had crushes on about 3 of my friends. Why is this happening? Many say that I am bicurious, cause I got a man and everything and I never done that girl on girl thing.I've been this way for 3 (1/2) years. I don't understand it. Tell me why I feel this way? Do you think that it is hereditary?Don't answer if you are going to antagonize me.
2007-01-16 02:02:37 · 29 answers · asked by lhpretty 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I wouldn't ask on here; people aren't qualified to answer. You might find this this site interesting:
http://search.freefind.com/find.html?id=45895468&_charset_=utf-8&bcd=%C3%B7&scs=1&pageid=r&query=homosexuality&mode=Find+pages+matching+ALL+words
2007-01-16 02:09:57 · answer #1 · answered by Joseph C 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Why should you feel bad about having a fantasy or a dream, or a desire?
Desires don't always have to come true. Taking things out of the sexual realm...I watch the PandaCams at the National, San Diego, and Atlanta Zoos all the time. I would love to cuddle a panda cub. They're so cute! I dream about hugging and playing with panda cubs sometimes, too. But I'm probably never going to cuddle one, and certainly not one of those zoo cuties. I would be seriously hurt if I, say, tried to hop over a fence at the zoo to do it.
Does this make my desire wrong or problematic? No. It just means I enjoy the visuals and the dreams, and am mature enough to know you can't have everything.
Learn to enjoy your desires, and to understand that dreams don't always have to come true to be enjoyed. If it is affecting your relationship with your man, think about what may be missing (aside from certain body parts, I mean). If it is affecting your self-esteem, look for a therapist who specializes in LGBT issues. (Many advertise in gay newspapers.) Above all, realize that pleasure is not a "problem."
2007-01-16 02:13:28 · answer #2 · answered by GreenEyedLilo 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The awareness of one's own sexuality varies from person to person. You have to think seriously about yourself. Homosexuality is not a disease. It's not a mental condition. It's the way your sexual orientation develops. Medical science still can't explain why this happens or what to do aboout it. They're still struggling to see if bio-chemical conditions, social pressure, sexual abuse or hereditary factors contribute to a homosexual condition.
Many of the answers posted to answer your question agree on one thing: religion has a way to "guilt" you into being straight. You must ask yourself: are you REALLY aroused by your boyfriend? Or is your boyfriend an excuse to hide your true self from your friends/family/co-workers, etc.? If you're really gay, then accepting it is the first step into living a happier life (despite social repression and hatred against homosexuals). If you try to dismiss these feelings as "crushes" that need to be "shaken off" to be normal, then you'll always live your life feeling frustrated and miserable. As for God, the devil and therapy, these are issues that you'd have to deal with one at a time once you accept your true self.
Being sexually aroused is not a "conscious" act. You see a girl. She stimulates your sexuality. You'll never be able to "sheke away" those feelings. If you embrace them, you'll live a fuller, happier life.
If you need professional help dealing with your feelings, but you want to avoid expensive psychotherapy you can always try a support group in your area.
2007-01-16 04:38:17 · answer #3 · answered by Inquisitive 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People are not 100% male or 100% female. It is body chemistry in most cases that account for gay behavior. There are some perverts out there buy by and large people's preferences are guide by the bodies. Religions try to make you feel guilty to "shame" you into being a good girl and having kids to continue the species. Science has unfortunately not found the treatments to shift people in the right direction yet so a resolution is going to be difficult. Answers can be found in the medical community, but avoiding religious zealots. They only understand their "Holy" books. Good luck. It sounds as though you are one of those in the middle and going in either direction will have its problems.
2007-01-16 03:24:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I felt that way for a while in my teen years until one day a coworker (a girl) hit on me,,i acted on it and that was all she wrote..that doesnt mean that this will happen to you,, it just means that you can live with these thoughts for ever and ever..or one day you will feel comfortable enough around a female and see where it leads..you may not like it.. or you may there is only one way of finding out.. you may want to start by going to harmless websites and talk with other girls..that may satisfy your curiousty in and of its self.. try grrl2grrl.com
2007-01-16 06:36:27 · answer #5 · answered by bigjoss2k 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have felt like this to and gone through EXACLY the same thing!-Along with alot of peopel!! I then did the "girl on girl thing"..and i felt comfortable, but i know now after that exprience that i am straight, i still look at women in the same way as i did but now i no its just because i think that women are beautiful and when there sexy.. thats all it is there sexy and i notice that .. that dosent make any one gay thinking in that way!!dreams that you think are 'inapproipiate' arent and thats why you dont feel bad after,everyone has ones like that, bit weird but sexual, but at the end of the day ITS JUST A DREAM ...Everyone has fantasys Almost everyone thinks like this but most think that there the only one's when there REALLY not!! i hope my answers helped in some way. xBx
2007-01-16 02:41:07 · answer #6 · answered by West-Lnds-Finest 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why not take the plunge and get it over with? if you've got questions, you need answers. at least this way you'll get some resolve.
but, if you do, don't let it be with just anyone. let it be with someone you trust, otherwise your first experience may paint a bad false impression on this side of the road.
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and LOL @ emmababy's "...i don't think it's hereditary, obviously you're parents aren't gay because they've had you." how do you think gay people came into being?
2007-01-16 02:57:51 · answer #7 · answered by theP0OCH 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately i couldnt 'shake' those feelings either. i'm 23 now but started having those feelings in middle school. anyway, i ignored them as best i could and tried to have relationships with guys. then one night in high school my best friend (who i had the biggest crush on) kissed me! a kiss had never felt like that before! she and i began a (secret) relationship throughout my entire senior year. when i went to college i tried to do the 'guy' thing some more, but it wasnt fullfilling at all. now i only date women. while it seems i can be attracted to men and women, i know that i will find that happiness i need only with a woman. i believe in bisexuality, but i think everybody has a preference. my advice to you is to explore your feelings. if you have never experienced physical intimacy with a woman i strongly suggest you try it. if it works for you, great! if not, at least you dont have to wonder anymore. good luck to you!
2007-01-16 02:13:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe it's hereditary. You may possibly just be bisexual. Just because a woman is with a man, doesn't mean shes not a lesbian. A lot of men and women date the opposite sex before realizing they want to be with someone of the same sex. If you are unhappy with your boyfriend, and you're attracted to other women, you should tell him that. He may be open to you experimenting with another woman, if he's not, and you can't accept that, then move on.
2007-01-16 02:09:26 · answer #9 · answered by ♡twitchy♡ 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The only way to find out if you are a bisexual is to try it. If you find that you prefer men but still like women, you are bisexual. If you find you prefer women, you are probably a homosexual. You just might find out that you don't really have a thing for women at all, which would make you a heterosexual. It's better to find out now then to get married and have kids only to discover your true sexuality is something you have not been living.
2007-01-16 02:10:44 · answer #10 · answered by T Time 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You should just go with what you think is right. Maybe you could try being with a woman and see how it goes? You should do what you think will make you most happy.
2007-01-16 02:13:18 · answer #11 · answered by danhh 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋