Why is it...?

Question

Why is it that when someone is caught lying they become defensive and manipulate it to where they try to justify what they did is right ...and can't admit that thier actions about what they did were wrong? I was lied to and it was a pretty bad lie and he got caught, but instead of apologizing, he was very cold and mean. A few months later he did say alot of t hings were uncalled for, but I don't feel he was sincere...I could tell... and him saying sorry was his way of justifying to himself that later he did the right thing just becuase. Is it guilt? Is he ashamed? He cant talk to me for more then 2 minutes on the phone. I really really expressed that he hurt me very mych. We dont speak anymore. But i am curious about this.

Answer 1

If you choose to believe that people are inherently good then you must accept that given a chance they will do the right thing (however long it takes, in your presence or absense, and whatever form it assumes). You might also argue that whatever wrong they have done was deemed by them as the best cause of action in that particular time, situation or space. You can only be responsible for your actions, in-actions or choices and encourage those around you to choose wisely but you can not force their hand or influence their decision as they should not and can not yours. Trying to do this creates anger and leads to frustration and enemity. It is easier said than done but remember that your thoughts are reflected in your actions and though lying can cause hurtful feelings (lied to) and guilt (liar) there is another side to it where the liar has an irrational fear that telling the truth will cost them the relationship with you or their position in that said relationship. You are what you think and it goes without saying that our actions define who we are and should be trusted as much as, if not more than, our words. Give everbody a chance to change because every situation is an opportunity for learning, understanding and developing into better beings. Move away from situations or people who hold you back (for reasons of self-preservation not anger or hate) with the understanding that they are as they are because they have not learnt yet (you have and that is why you see it clearly for what it is) and if you have done all you can, do not be bitter rather graduate that class and move on to the next grade/ level. Leave the door open for an apology but learn and refuse to indulge repeat offenders by speaking and relating honestly with them. Always trust your instinct but remember it is a guide when you don't understand words that contradict actions (ironies and oxymorons) - not the absolute and only truth for all now and forevermore. Change comes with time as we gain wisdom and we are all on the same journey only at different levels or seemingly moving in opposite directions but aiming for the same goal. Let the "same goal" be your focus when opinions differ and agree to disagree without ill feeling.

Answer 2

Canadians do not want to be Americans. At all. Ever. We are different countries, with different sorts of people who originally formed them. Those first non-natives have left their mark on the societies of each, and while pretty similar on the surface, there are actually some fundamental differences. E.g., your assertion we are a "white" country. We don't see it that way - in fact, to label a people by their colour is considered highly distasteful in Canada. We are officially multicultural, and we embrace people regardless of colour. We never fought against the natives; in fact, they were allies when the US tried to invade, and we both worked together to defeat the USA. Each time. The founders of the USA were mostly ardent Protestant Reformers, who were fleeing the UK mostly, and some other European countries, for religious freedom. So, the USA was very Protestant, and while religion is less important today, many of the ideas of those early people are still strong. Canada was formed by Roman Catholics (the French immigrants), and mostly Anglicans, who aren't much different. That has also changed over the years, but, again, the background culture of Canada owes much to those early settlers as well. The USA was born in war, and had a civil war as well. Canada has never begun a war with anyone. We are a very peaceful country, who's population will fight like demons when attacked, and then go back to peaceful lives. We have a much greater respect for authority than Americans do, and live in a much less individualistic way. We remain loyal to the Crown, although we now have our own Monarchy (although the Queen is also Queen of other countries, she is Queen of Canada, a distinct title, and job). This causes power to come down from above, rather than up from the people, as in the USA. For day to day stuff, it makes little difference - our cops give speeding tickets just as yours do, but, the power comes from somewhere else, and that difference underlies all laws here. There is much more. Canada exists because Canadians want it to. Any attempts by others to change that soon finds that trying to mess with Canada is like trying to poke a sleeping lion. Watch out when it wakes up!

Answer 3

some times when some one lies it becomes the truth to them so to him you were questioning him as a person hes already justified the lie so if you dont accept it you are hurting his fealings i know a guy like this he never changed and we dont talk now because of it dont worry about it thats just the way things are sometimes and as soon as you accept it it might now bother you so much to not understand. i still dont get it

Answer 4

to understand this, you have to ask yourself why do liars lie? for them it's a way of life and for most they will never change, when you catch a liar they feel naked, like you've shined a light into the hole they have dug and lived in and called a life.

Answer 5

Ask Bill Clinton. He should know.

Answer 6

I didn't do it!!!!!What I did was perfectly rational.