Totally down in the dumps for some time now?

Question

I am in my mid-40s and am just feeling rather low. Husband's issues are annoying me, as well as my son's. Feel like I want to be alone, but know it is not a good thing in the way that I feel. I am definitely not suicidal, and know that my feelings can be turned into something good. I am overweight by over 20kg and am very unfit. My skin is a mess, and yet I have medication which should help me. I don't feel beautiful, not even on the inside. I know lots of ways that I can possibly make myself feel better, but my main problems are that I have no willpower and I tend to run myself down. I need anyone who can say things to set my mindframe right. Please advise me, and thank you very much.

Answer 1

I know how you are feeling somtimes life sucks the life out of you. My story is this I was divorced and with another man my life seemed good. Then my mothers cancer came back and took her in three months. One week to the day after my mother died I found out that the man I was with the guy I thought was my future was trying to sexually abuse my oldest daughter she was nine years old. It broke me, I couldn't move off my bed. Then a couple days later my Mother showed up in a dream. I was so happy to see her that I jumped up to hug her and we both fell as I was telling her I was sorry she laughed at me and said, IT IS OK TO FALL HONEY YOU JUST HAVE TO REMEMBER TO STAND BACK UP! That was when I woke up. I now know that we all fall once in a while but I always have the strenth to stand back up. That is what you have to do. Stand up and take control of your life, it is amazing once you can get a grip you can do it I know you can. you are in my prayers God Bless

Answer 2

i think u r being way too hard on yourself. what u see as not being beautiful is anothers ideal. beauty is on the inside and i truly believe that. if u r unhappy about urself, this will show on the outside and inside- making u more miserable!
set yourself some goals, get out of the house, sunlight and casual excersise (ie walking) release endorfins, stimulating ur brain.
dont tell urself u have no willpower, because if u tell urself u dont, then u wont! tell urself that u r the strongest woman in the world and u can do anything! the more u believe in urself and encourage urself, the more u will achieve.
read some affirmations, go for a coffee or lunch with ur friends and make a day to pamper urself. get ur nails and hair done. get a facial. buy some new underwear or anything that makes u feel sexy!
start to appriciate the smaller things in life. watch the birds or some dogs play in a park. this may make u giggle and laughing is always fun!
u could also sponser a child. helping someone who is less fortunate and knowing u r making a difference in the world (no matter how bog or small) always makes anyone feel good about themselves!
i wish u the very best of luck! i know u can do it!! i hope i was able to help u!! =)

Answer 3

Do you do any volunteer work anywhere. I think you are in England, I am i USA But I would advise you offer to do for others for a day a week. In an organization, that part is import. Then a job well don will be rewarded from the boss and you can start building a worthy character within yourself to be proud of. I remember those 40's hard years. neither old nor young, I'm with you all the way. i have an email. If you find some success. please let me know.

Answer 4

Depression isn't good although we all go through it. When you feel down why not do something for just YOU? Take a long hot bubble bath and clear your head or spend time with friends or family. Keep yourself busy and your mind occupied. feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to do anything but make you feel worse. Why not make a goal for yourself and try and reach that goal. Get your hair done, change the color, anything you do will make a change and you will feel better about yourself. You need to be around people, try joining a group or volunteer your time to an organization and meet new friends at the same time. Your husband needs to help you through this instead of adding to it. Good Luck

Answer 5

I have been there. I really understand what you are going through. I would start using the cream, go for a walk even if it's only to the end of your drive way or if you live in an apartment exit the building walk to the side walk. I know this may sound really stupid but it really helps. Also set very small tasks for yourself eg: I will do the dishes or I do not know if u wear makeup if, you do put some lipstick on even if you are home. Hope this helps you

Answer 6

Okay, you are about 40 years old. Now you need to think about your life, is it important to you, is your family important to you, and is health important? if all are yes, then you have to do something about it. Why don't you look at internet and find some events to attend. Like sports thing, very simple sport, that can help you lose weights. You are not only one who think that way, there are other women are like this. Once you meet a lot of people in the events, you will realize about it, like wow, i can do it and i can change my life how much its important to running the life. You can change something in your family, tell your husband how much hes annoying, so is your son, you can control your son a bit. Wash your skins everyday, dont eat something cause your skins. THINK POSITIVE AND GO OUT MORE OFTEN AND ATTEND THE EVENTS.

Answer 7

I would seek the advice of your family doctor and rule out anything physical first. A lot of changes take place in a women's body, especially if you are 40 and over. Hormonal changes are not uncommon in women your age. If everything checks out with your family doctor to be physically okay, he/she may recommend a therapist for you. You have the classic signs for depression, and with the help of a therapist and maybe medication you can begin to heal. Try not to put it off thinking it will get better sooner or later, usually the longer you wait, the worse it gets. Believe me, it can get better....I've been there. Best of wishes to you.

Answer 8

In my opinion, it sounds like you need a clean slate. That is easier said than done of course, but there is a way. I'm not trying to convert you to my religion, but practicing zen meditation can give you the clean slate you need. The way to practice it can be found on the internet.

You can do as little or as much as you like. Other benefits include:

Early stages: Basic relaxation, lower blood pressure, and increasing feeling of wellness.

Intermediate stages: The ability to see your body and mind from afar, objectifying your view of reality, a widening and deep feeling of peace.

Advanced: Total freedom of mind and body. You will float, and you will wonder why you ever suffered so much.

Answer 9

You need to get a friend and the two of you spend a day or a weekend at a spa. Get refreshed. Pamper yourself. That would make me feel better. And spending time with the girls is way better than dealing with family. Good Luck

Answer 10

Now that you have listed all the things going wrong in your life. Start taking one day at a time. When you wake up in the morning think of 5 things that are going positive in your life, and write them down, because you are going to keep a daily diary of yoor life. Do this everyday and do something positive for someone else in your life. It does not have to be something big. You need to grow to love yourself and this will help jump start your new life.