I Called Wedding Off & My Fiance' Slit His Wrist?

Question

Pt.2 of my question last week:
I told my ex we arent ready for marriage & he wasnt too pleased with it. He went on a drinking binge and showed up at my doors 2 days ago "supposedly" to retrieve some of his things he left at my place. He showed me his wrist and he cut his left wrist! He said the first day he was heartbroken and he cut himself with some glass from a bottle, he says it broke during the cutting. He also mentioned that he wanted my attention. I told him to go to a mental health hosptial but he doesnt think he needs help. If someone wants to kill their self, there is other ways to do it. I think he may have did it to get my sympathy as a last ditch attempt because he knows I dont want to deal with his drinking problem. Is he trying to make me feel guilty? That has further pushed me away from him, he is making things 1000% worser than what it was!He constantly asks if I'm sleeping with someone else, & that is soo unattractive.It was temporary at first, but now its permenant!

Answer 1

Your ex has problems that are well beyond your control, and you were smart to end the relationship. Of course it wasn't easy, but it was the best thing to do for your both.

He may not be trying to make you feel guilty, but he is definitely trying to get your attention. Additionally, it really doesn't sound like you love him and he's become annoying. If that's the case, simply tell him you know he's going through a difficult time. Encourage him to get professional help; tell him that he's the only one that can control his behavior and get his feet on solid ground. Finally, tell him it would be best for the both of you if you ended all communication THEN END IT. Change your phone number and email address; if you see him, don't answer his questions. If he harasses you at home, get a restraining order. He doesn't sound criminal, just really unstable.

Control what you can and leave him alone. The rest is up to him.

Answer 2

YOU ARE DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT!

Congratulations on not marrying a sad situation that would have only gotten worse. He sounds like he does have a psychological problem, slitting the wrist is a bit desperate but he is just out of control.

1. Encourage him to seek help.
2. Try to get his family or friends to step in for him.
3. Stay out of the situation. Being nice will give him false hope and the behaviors will get worse.
4. Remind him why you broke up...his drinking. He needs to recognize the problem and you may need to remind yourself too.
5. Remember he is ill right now. And until he hits bottom there is nothing you can do. NOTHING.
6. Don't feel guilty. You did what you could. You ended the relationship because it wasn't good for you anymore. That is fair. He would have done the same.

Smile and remember that it will end over time and that you are helping him recognize that he will have to deal with his problem. Being married would not have prevented what is happening now. IT would have occurred over something else later and then you could have been married w/kids. Be thankful.

Answer 3

Sounds to me like its more than just the pregnancy. I think that he is afraid of commitment. He wants a smaller house, ends the wedding, now he doesn't want his own kid. I hope you don't believe that statement about if you love me you would get an abortion. That is not love. I know that you love him but I think that is the best time for you to think about your future with him. If he's not ready then you don't want to be with someone who feels forced into something. It seems easy to say get rid of him but it is hard to do that when you have a baby on the way. You both really need to sit down and get to the bottom of it.

Answer 4

Wow, I just had a similar situation this last week. I moved out from my wife as we have been having a lot of problems. We have been friends for most of our lives and I know she attempted suicide in high school. We got in a fight over the phone the night I moved out and from what she was saying I knew she would do something stupid. I got in my car and raced to our house. When I showed up it was pitch black. I turned the lights on and found her passed out on the sofa with an empty bottle of wine, empty pain pill bottles, a knife and a suicide note. It scared me to death. Luckily, I was able to wake her up. The next day I explained to her that this behavior was just another selfish thing to do and is unacceptable. She has decided to see a therapist as her and I will never work out until she works out her own problems.

Your fiance needs professional help. Until he gets that, you two will not be able to work out your problems.

Answer 5

Shaka Z,

Good for you, this man would bring your life down. Stay strong and stay away from him (if he could hurt himself he could just as easily hurt you). Sounds like some serious issues. Best of luck to you!

Answer 6

I think this just proves that you made a good decision in choosing not to marry this man - he is obviously not stable and has a problem with drinking. Stay clear of him and ask him to leave you alone.

Answer 7

Tell the loser to go away and that you want nothing to do with him until he has been treated both for his "suicide attempt" and for his alcoholism. Until he has done both, the relationship is off, and you will be dating as many men as you want. After he has completed treatment, he may ask you for a date, and maybe you will agree to one.

Answer 8

I feel sorry for you and your ex. It sounds like your ex is really trying desparately to get your attention. People does act differently when things beyond their control happens.

I hope you can handle this responsibly.
Be praying for you and your ex.

Answer 9

You have to do what is right for you. He needs some help. Don't feel that you have to marry him because of his insecurties. Please get him some help! Just think that if you marry him, and he doesn't agree with something he will always pull these kind of stunts to get his way. DON"T give in.

Answer 10

with his choices he caused his own demise. at least u know what he is like, and know that he is not the one u want to spend the rest of your life with. he is immature and doesn't take to well when he is disappointed in any way. he wanted u to feel sorry for him, and take him back, but didn't know how to get what he wanted. just immature and not at all ready to marry anyone.