2007-01-16 00:54:20 · 23 answers · asked by Blonde & Sharp 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First off.....before you confront your partner about it, take some time to seriously think about what YOU want, for now and long term now that you have discovered this. Think of your endgame first, before letting your emotions get the better of you before you explode all over your partner, and their lover and spew it all over your social circles.
Think - Do you want to still stay together and give them a second chance?
Do you want to end it?
Even if offered a second chance, is your partner interested in continuing with you? And even if they are, will they change? Can you forgive? And can you trust them again?
Once you are very clear on all those questions, THEN confront them about it in a way that won't hurt your endgame status. (ie. if you still want to stay together, but have gone off and told all your friends and social contacts what a scum partner you have, might be difficult to stay togther afterwards considering what everyone now knows, would have been better to keep a secret between you)
2007-01-16 01:01:54 · answer #1 · answered by Kaboom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I have always said that if we ever catch the other one doing the nasty tango with someone else we would first hurt the one of us that did it then we would really mess up the sleeze bucket that came into our lives to cause that to happen in the first place. But we don't have to worry about any of it happening because we are both too tired to have an affair on the side.
2007-01-16 01:00:30 · answer #2 · answered by M.S. Mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everything is easier said than done. I would say divorce, but having been in those shoes I didn't get a divorce. The next best answer would be to make life living hell for the spouse. I operate now with a strict abll and chain mentality. I need to know everyone she is going and who she is going to be with and I need to be able to contact her any time of the day....better have that cell phone ringer on as high as it goes. Definitely no going out of town without me. Don't like then let's file for divorce.
2007-01-16 01:00:50 · answer #3 · answered by Cyber Stalker 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If the affair was current... then raise as much hell and then leave anyway. Gather evidence To support what you know before you leave though. You may need it if you are married, plus so they do not deny it and make people think you are imagining things.
2007-01-16 01:05:24 · answer #4 · answered by mimi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing i did was confront them about it. We discussed the issue and resolved the problem.
All relationships can be salvaged after an event like this. But, it takes a huge commitment on both parties to work on this, and believe me it's hard to trust again.
If you can't do this on your own, or you think you need more guidance don't be afraid to seek counseling for both of you in this matter.
I wish you luck, hope that you can work things out together, but know this, it won't happen overnight, it will take time to rebuild the trust and move forward.
2007-01-16 01:09:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
first i would find out where his heart was, if it was serious or not. if he was remorseful and sorry i would do my best to work on it, and find forgiveness, even though i might not be able to, but should try. if he denied it, or refused to be with me, i would start divorce proceedings, as the longer we stay in denial and refuse to accept the truth, the longer we will be unable to make a decision about what to do. the goal would be to find out the truth, and move on either way with him or without him, as we can't just stay hoping and praying he will return to us, we can't allow someone to dump on us, and come back when it's convenient to them, we have to know the truth, and accept whatever it is, and get hold of our life, so we can leave that self doubt, and fill the void with new possibilities.
2007-01-16 01:09:02 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obiviously it would want to have a better bring about the journey that they are having an affair with the same sex, you would possibly want to sense that you became them. or you effected the way they pronounced the different sex.
2016-12-02 08:55:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give them the pink slip
2007-01-16 01:00:03 · answer #8 · answered by Boondocksaint 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a divorce quick and find someone else
2007-01-16 00:58:40 · answer #9 · answered by Lovely 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to say right now .but he knows that i would probaly flip out on his *** and then leave him for good.
2007-01-16 01:17:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋