In this situation, a friend of mine is still in love with an older, sophisticated sugar daddy who put her through college and got her used to the finer things in life. She later marries a good guy with a decent job and a good heart. For all three years of her marriage, she has still been receiving money from this sugar daddy and they have been carrying on a romantic long distance relationship. The husband has busted her several times talking to him but at first she insisted that it was platonic but now she revealed that she has always loved this man while she also loves her husband. Difference is that the husband is blue collar, romance-challeneged but likes to travel and is caring and affectionate. The sugar daddy is suave and can melt her heart with words and has committed to take care of her for the rest of her life but is in his 60's and she is in her 20's. She is torn between the two but leaning toward the sugar daddy. What should she do? The husband wants to save the marriage.
2007-01-16 00:38:50 · 12 answers · asked by Magnus01 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The wife tearfully admits her connection to the sugar daddy and describes it is "deep and spiritual" she even asks the husband to take her to see him (they have never met physically) and maybe it will help ease her connection to him. While recently in the same city that the sugar daddy lives in on vacation she expressed that she thought about slipping away and making it to the sugar daddys house. She says that she wants to stay and work on the marriage but it is not in her eyes. She looks as if she WANTS to leave and is only staying not to crush the husbands emotions or embarass her family. This girl needs some direction. Like I mentioned earlier, she is 25 and the sugar daddy is 63. Counseling is an option but the husband is pissed and doubts that it will work because of the level of attachment for this man she has harbored and lied about for almost 3 years. She came clean and says that she wants to save her marriage but is addicted to this man like heroin. Not sure she wants 2 detox
2007-01-16 00:39:31 · update #1
She insists that the relationship with the sugar daddy is pure because they have never met (she is from overseas and he lives in NY) She insists that if enough people hear her "side" of the story of how he made her life better then no one can possibly still condemn her. He raised her up, put a few thousand dollars in her account and she didn't have to sleep with him. She got spoled and lived the high life for 4-5 years but with her husband there are budgets, no luxury soaps and expensive dinners, no $500 to go shopping but he is a good provider paying the bills and has a nice car while they are still buying furniture. She has an attitude like "The sugar daddy would never see me without what I wanted" so why should my husband be off of the hook? She admits that her husband provides for her but she feels that she "deserves" the finer things RIGHT NOW and if he isin't willing to spoil her financially at a moments notice then it will not help her get over the sugar daddy.
2007-01-16 00:40:38 · update #2
How she met the sugar daddy was through some gold diggers at her college who taught her to fleece men for spending money instead of working and now she is addicted to it and has fallen in love with the man who was tricking off his money. The wife is from another country and has not met the sugar daddy and all while they were married and she was talking to the sugar daddy the husband was working to get her a visa to the US. She has been here 3 weeks and it is all coming to the light.
2007-01-16 01:58:03 · update #3
Wow! How did her husband not know this was going on (with all the money, gifts, etc.)?
Well, she needs to make a choice. Either she chooses her husband and stops all communication with her sugar daddy. Or, she tells her husband that she wants a divorce and keeps the gravy train rolling with her sugar daddy.
2007-01-16 00:43:16 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. Smooth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she should stay with the marriage but she probably will never be happy with him but she should try I think this sugar daddy has spoilted her rotten and she is so used to having everything easy with him but men that have money are used to getting their way and she don't know how many other women he has did this to, I think it will come back to haunt her if she leaves her husband. I think personally a man who is in his 60's doesn't shouldn't be having a relationship with someone that young. She don't have enough life experience and he could be toying with her but here is another thought I know it sounds sad to say if he was messing with her when she was starting college he might like teen girls it seems like the younger the better he could be a pervert. I am sort of speaking from experince I am 21 now but when I was 19 and just over my 20th birthday I dated a man that was 16 years older than I am and I was just his toy that he would use it hurts to feel like an object and in someways you can't understand each other and I have felt like he a pervert just somethings he said made me think he could have been a molester in the past that he raised a little girl and he understands now about children and he wouldn't hurt one like maybe before she came along he did. But I think she should look back and gain wisdom about it and leave it alone.
2007-01-16 08:53:34 · answer #2 · answered by Carrie D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find it hard to believe that she has gone on so long without meeting her "sugar daddy". If that is true, I will say that the sugar daddy truly does care for her, to be willing to help her and support her for absolutely nothing in return! To be honest, while the age gap is big, it shouldn't really be a reason not to be with someone. From your description, she doesn't seem to be happy with her husband, and seems to be with him just to be with him ... and in my opinion, eventually, she will split with her husband. They just do not sound like they are on the same page.
She ought to give her sugar daddy a chance. She needs to fully explore that side of her emotions to either help her determine if it is real love or it is just a fantasy. Only after she determines this will she be able to stay in her marriage and never think of her sugar daddy again. And of course if she finds out she really does love her sugar daddy, then she ought to be with him!
I suggest www.SeekingArrangement.com -- it's the largest Sugar Daddy dating website, and I am sure you will find some useful information there to help her!!!
2007-01-16 17:04:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is a spoiled brat and needs to decide if she wants material things and wealth over a solid dependible marriage. It sounds like she has been having her cake and eating it for too long and to now go without all the things she has got used to she is resenting the hubby. Maybe she should go see the sugar daddy and I am betting she will see the grass isn't greener.
Interesting thought; how did she meet sugar daddy?
2007-01-16 08:45:43 · answer #4 · answered by Bagpuss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! She sounds extremely selfish. I think her husband needs to gain some self worth. If your friend would search deep I think she'd find that her "sugar daddy" will have others just like her and that she is NOT the only one that he is helping. I'm at a loss for words other than the above.
2007-01-16 08:47:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this about you and your wife....? Well from my point of view i think that the husband should just leave the wife being that she is committing adultery on more than one level. She is selfish and needs to grow up. She does not love the sugar daddy she is in love with the money, point blank. So tell the money hungry girl that she needs to get her act together and choose who she wants to be with.
2007-01-16 08:56:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think the woman needs any advice, I think your friend does. The advice he needs: "Have some self-respect." It's inconceivable that he is tolerating this situation. If he's exceptionally generous, he should say, "Go see him. Meet him. You have one week. If after one week you are not back here begging for forgiveness on your hands and knees, don't come back at all. In that case, I'll handle the divorce and send your sugar daddy the bill."
2007-01-16 08:48:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
she needs to sit sdown and think long and hard about this. she should not had gotten married. if she has feelings for the sugar daddy. shes messing up her husband life as well. she needs to choose. so the husband can move on fine somebody he can love.she is spoil now. she can get anything she wants.but her husband loves her too. they need marraige counsiling. if they want to work it out. stop it with the old man.
2007-01-16 08:48:42 · answer #8 · answered by bay bay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The husband will never trust her and eventually leave her even if she does stop. It's Carma, what goes around comes around. What she has done to her husband will come back to her by him or some other man. When she matures she WILL regret the things she's done, but it will be too late.
2007-01-16 08:45:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The woman is a spoiled brat.
The husband deserves better - he should move on and dump her!
2007-01-16 09:27:37 · answer #10 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋