I have been divorced for almost a year. About two years ago I came home from work and opened the mail.?

Question

I found three seperate accounts with over $50,000 in my ex-wife's name alone. I questioned her about it and also found out she contacted a divorce attorney several times during that time as well. She would not tell me why she did it. I filed for divorce and ended up with joint custody of the kids as well as a decent amount of money. To this day I do not know why she did it. I was not a perfect husband. I never stole a dime or cheated on her not was I abusive. To this day I still do not know why it happened. How can I just let this go without knowing the answer?

Answer 1

You have to get over it. You are divorced, you have joint custody of the kids, and you have money. Move on.

Answer 2

There is no record of where the money came from? You can't just come up with $50,000 without there being a link to the source somehow. During the divorce you could have seen the bank records through a court order to see if there was wire transfers or deposits and you probably could have found the source of the money if you would have tried hard enough.

As far as why she did it? She wanted a divorce, for whatever reason, and wanted money stashed away on top of what she was going to make you pay in alimony and child support. Basically you were minuites away from being raped.

Consider yourself lucky that you found everything out and be happy that you made out more like a bandit than she did. That alone should serve as closure.

Answer 3

Somethings in this life just happen for whatever reason and sometimes there isnt an answer. This falls under why Mother Nature and God wont let us see our future. Maybe we are just better off not knowing. It may just be that youre feeling guilty and want to see if its your fault. Just accept the fact it happened for whatever reason and leave it at that. I understand you cant do that, none of us can but unless youre willing to get into a ugly discussion with your ex just chalk it up as one of the unexplained secrets of the universe and move on. It sounds like you came out of this pretty good so just accept it. All the thinking and endless guilt trips wont change the outcome, you cant go back especially to where youre not wanted. Live for your kids and maybe someday God will let you know why, from his big book of personal destinies, when youre ready. Good luck with your future

Answer 4

Your ex either fell out of love with you, or realized that she really never loved you at all. It doesn't make you a bad person, bad husband, or any of that. It just means she didn't love you. She obviously wanted out of the marriage, but was having second thoughts--perhaps because of the children. Most likely, she was relieved when you discovered the deception.

When things like this worry us, we must look to the obvious, and the obvious answer is that she didn't love you. Dont' waste any more time on this. You have children to raise and a life to live. Let go of the past and move on to the future. Best wishes!

Answer 5

You will probably never know the answer so I would just let it go and move on. It sounds like she had some plans of her own. If she won't tell you why she did it, then leave it alone. Sometimes things are best left unknown. You have a new life now so let it go and spend as much time with your kids as you can. Good Luck

Answer 6

sometimes we would not even want to know their answer. as each of us has our own reality and belief system, according to us. sometimes it is better not knowing anything but that she did hurt u, ruined the marriage, and walked out on u for no good reason. but usually people leave marriages for one reason, they met someone else, that they would rather be with. sometimes there is no closure, closure is nothing more than knowing there is a way out of the hurt, doesn't mean we know all the details. she didn't appreciate u for what ever reason. u thought more of her than she did u. we can run it through in our minds for an eternity and still never know why, she has her reasons, but will never admit that her reasons were wrong, they usually place blame on the one that is already hurt, because they don't think they did anything wrong, and when we hear their reasons, we just feel worse, and begin to blame ourselves, when in reality it was her choices that caused it. just because we were fair and good, doesn't mean our spouse is going to treat us the same way. sure we are hurt we don't understand, and we are never going to understand, but don't let what she did define the rest of your life, or make u feel less of a man. u are not your circumstances, the only power negative thoughts have over us is our belief in them. would u even trust anything this woman told u? her morals and belief system are different from yours. just accept things the way they are, don't try to find out reasons, u will only feel hurt if u got her reasons.

Answer 7

Dude, YOU divorced HER! She's probably wondering why. You divorced her because you discovered she had money you didn't know about. I would think such a discovery would be cause for celebration, not divorce. She "contacted a divorce attorney" too. So what? There could be many explanations for that, such as needing advice about her previous marriage. Sounds to me like you drove a wedge between yourself & your wife by being paranoid and not demonstrating trust.

Answer 8

There are times in life when there is no rhyme or reason to someones actions.Letting go is hard and can be a bit frightening.Stop looking for an answer,life isn't black and white.We spend most of our lifetime in the gray areas were there are no definite answers and we need to just accept and move on.Life is a constant motion and if you don't move along you will stagnate.Like a pool of water become grim and polluted.

Answer 9

It sounds like she was just not into being married - I am sure it has nothing to do with you...... its all her. It sounds like you are much better off without her and It's her loss. You gained your kids and the respect of others for taking that on alone. Be proud and forget her and move on .......... there is someone out there that will come along and know that you are special and never want to let you go.

Answer 10

some things in life just cannot be answered. I have often asked myself why my son's father acted the way he did when he had everything. The answer is, there is no reason. Some people just have their own agendas, some people are just plain selfish and mean. We shouldn't waste any more thought or waste time on people like that but instead should move on with the conclusion that some things just cannot be answered.