It's not the sex, is it? (I asked it in the wrong category. Please don't remove.)?

Question

I started seeing a therapist to get me and my kids through my husband leaving his family for another woman. She said that I should think about all of the things that I don't like about it, like them having sex together. I fell out laughing. The other woman is so skinny, poster child for anorexia, that thinking about them having sex is like thinking about him having sex with a broom!

That is not what hurts. What hurts is them laughing together and him talking to her about me. Those who have gone through or are going through this, what are you feelings?

Answer 1

Whether she is a broom or a vacuum cleaner, it doesn't matter. Your husband has left you for her. So much for his taste! Forget him and move on. Don't worry about what they may be doing or not! Your life and that of your children are far too important for you than worrying about a broom and a wizard riding it!!!

Answer 2

Why do you think they are laughing at you and talking about you?
Even if he says that is what's going on, it may not be so.

Lets say it is true. He is not worth the angst I hear in your question/comments. He is using you to have an emotional menage a trois (threesome). Pretty manipulative. If you're not into sharing your partner physically then you sure don't want to allow yourself to be emotionally abused.

Instead of being hurt maybe you should try feeling indignant. I mean really! Don't let it get you down. Sounds to me like he traded down to someone as shallow as he is, if they spend their time focused on you. Let them laugh.

It's likely that you will be the one laughing in the end if this is the kind of bond he shares with women. He doesn't sound like such a prize. Good riddance.

At the very least you know that it wasn't a loss but rather a bonus to get rid of this shallow twisted person! Sounds like he's the one who needs therapy.

Answer 3

Its hard.. but eventually u start learning how to cope as time goes by.. my x husband walked out on me and our two kids for another woman and it took me 9 years to move on enough to go forward with my life, i dated and had bf's that lasted a long time, but as soon as it got serious i ran for the hills so to speak.. i still have trust issues.. never wanting to let another man in that deep ..or trust in them 100% for fear of having that kind of pain again.. and ur right its the trivial things that get to u more so then the sex.. the best i can tell u is that with time it gets better.. but i finally woke up one day and realized that the man i was in love with , doesnt exsist anymore...the man i married would of died rather then hurt me or our kids..and he's not the same man ..i mourn over a man that is dead to me.. not one that still exsists..

Answer 4

By thinking about your ex and his new chick you are allowing them to control your life and emotions. They shouldn't have that kind of control over you. Don't give them the time of day! Maybe now you can work on making your relationship with your kids stronger for right now
I think you will be better off without him, even though right now it may not seem like it. I am sure you will find someone that loves you and treats you the right way. Good luck to you and your children. You can get thru this !

Answer 5

I think in most relationships that there is an outside party the problem isn't the sex. Just think would you rather have your mate have 30 one night stands(that mean absolutley nothing), or one serious relationship with another women(that he is actually spenidng time and building something with)???

Answer 6

if he's talking about you... whether it's good or bad... then he still finds you to be at least somewhat important. he may be a slimey, no good cheating pig, but he still cares on some level!!