we were married for 7 years, then she had an affair, after 9 months i forgave her and we moved back in together, this was 3 months ago. Now she says she feels guilty for what she has done(which she has for awhile now)and that she doesnt know if we are gonna make it, which i dont either. But anyway we have 2 kids and i cant keep confusing them so i am moving out and we are gonna try counseling, but i think its doomed, what do you think? we do love each other but its almost like we cant live together, but we cant live without each other, its weird
2007-01-16 00:03:09 · 6 answers · asked by Brian 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Its extremely hard to get over infedelity..it takes a really strong couple to get over it..and it takes alot of time..something that u really havent had that much of, its only been 3 months.. I personally think u shouldnt move out, not if u want this to work.. if u have to sleep in another room thats one thing, but ur doing ur kids more harm by constantly moving out, then moving in, then moving out then moving in.. its not good for them and gives them security issues.. No doubt that u both need counseling..but i really think it would be better to seek it with u in the house.. and i commend both of u for trying to make it work.. and im sure she is extremely sorry for has happened, now u both have to learn how to move on..and not let the past kill your future.. but u cant keep doing the moving in, moving out thing.. everytime u leave the kids have to get use to a life with out daddy, then when u come back they are happy just to have u leave again.. its very traumatic on a child.. i think unless u know its over for good , to stay in the house , and both of u fight for your family, for each other, and get through the struggle of this.. it sounds to me u both want it.. u both seem to love each other, and want it to work, u just dont have the proper tools to make that happen and thats where counseling comes in.. but u cant let whats going on with u and ur wife, damage ur kids either.. and the constant in and out, is damaging them..
2007-01-16 00:21:00 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you moving out? That makes NO sense. You are trying again. Moving will confuse the kids. Why can't you get counseling while you live at home? Have separate lives while goibng through the couseling. She left te kids once. If you move out, she can say in the divorce that you abandoned them.
You both are healing. It takes more than three months. Give it a year.
2007-01-16 08:18:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has been nine months for me of seperation only she is still with the other man...i don't understand what triggers these woman to do this, but you are lucky you have her back..go to counselling..forgive but don't forget...it takes two to four years to get over an affair of this nature..keep talking find out why and know that it wasn't you who chose this. Keep working on you! I wish you both luck!
2007-01-16 08:29:37 · answer #3 · answered by Glenn B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling is not doomed if you BOTH want it to work...For the two kids I would try my HARDEST to make it work-Children don't THRIVE in divorced/single parent households...they Survive(was that the best you hope for your kids?)
2007-01-16 08:09:01 · answer #4 · answered by bikinibabewannabe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try counceling but dont move out,this will confuse the kids even more,you need to be there together so you can talk through your problems .good luck
2007-01-16 10:09:50 · answer #5 · answered by lynda w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it'll work out fine if u two love each other like u said. Just think about the kids if ever it doesn't work out.
2007-01-16 08:13:40 · answer #6 · answered by Rayne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋