male 26 yr old female 24 yr old both married can not seem to communicate on deeper level than info. level, treat me like the man who married their mother not as a member of family, they are friendly enough, but there is this air of you can come this far but any further.
2007-01-14 22:25:41 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are just the man that married their mother. You cant expect an instant family. Just be really great to their mother and they will come around in time.
2007-01-14 22:30:20 · answer #1 · answered by Belinda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you married their mother you should have became their friend. Do you take time to find out what interests them? How old are these children? Are they the 26 and 25 yo? If so then you should have tried to include them in as much as possible with the wedding. Good luck
2007-01-14 22:38:52 · answer #2 · answered by kelsey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How lucky are these people that they have someone who wants to be a part of their life? I lost my mum when I was young and my dad met this woman who wanted nothing to do with any of his children. We were written off (me between the ages of 16 to 30). He died last month not knowing his beautiful Grand daughter and only talking to me for a few months before he died. I feel so angry at her for making it difficult to know my Dad.
Anyway after that rant, please give it time, ask them over as often as possible, feed them, ask open questions that force them to more than a yes/no answer like how is grand child doing at school?etc, Also maybe a family holiday arranged, people relax then and may be more open. Please do not give up and all the luck in the world you lovely person!
2007-01-17 00:40:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bide your time, no non blood relationship is ever instant. JUst be patient, take an interest in their life and their families and just be there for them, in time you might find they come round. These are adults and the need for a parent is not so great. Maybe there is a part of them that feels their mother replaced their father too quickly.
2007-01-14 23:04:10 · answer #4 · answered by Denise H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to expect the children to think of you as part of the family right away...The whole thought of having a new parent...My parents divorced when i was young and my mother remarried when i was 8....It was really hard for me to accept my stepfather as a father figure and as member of the family...I couldn't stand him for the longest time...now that i am older (almost 22) I realize that he was a huge part of my life...and i do think of him a family...I love him dearly...It just takes time...Just hang in there and do the best that you can...They will come around! Good Luck!
2007-01-14 22:34:11 · answer #5 · answered by Meagan M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a step mom and honestly I dont like her at first cause im scared that my dad would love her more than my real mother. That's the thing that bother's me but i know what my father needs so i gave consideration. Time will tell. But as for me you should'nt go overboard if it's too early. My Stepmom got me in a good conversation. (What the heck I just found out she also loves MTV2.)
2007-01-14 22:34:36 · answer #6 · answered by dennis_emotional 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mabey you are pushing to hard, trying to hard, people do not like to be pushed into anything, even with children that are your own the best way to make them love you is to love them, give them space when they need it and care for them as you would your own child, if you push they will only get further a way, you can not make anyone love you, if their father made mystakes with them then you have a long raod ahead, trust is earned. and that takes time. I think if you show their mother themost fantastic love in the world they will notice and be greatful, then they will open up to you, they are probably affraid that you will hurt their mother and divorce is very painfull for everyone espically the children.
show their mother love and respect, sincerly care for them but do not push them to be with you, only invite politely and time will take care of the rest.
2007-01-14 22:39:20 · answer #7 · answered by shandar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it takes time.... to them, you are the man who married their mother but a time will come when they will get to know you better and then you will become their step-father.....
right now, they are just trying to study you to find out what kind of person you are and if you good to their mother. the one thing going for you is that they are friendly enough which means they are giving you the benefit of the doubt.
just continue being there and being a good husband to their mother.....in time, things will change, believe me! been there...done that...a couple of times.
2007-01-14 22:39:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
be patient with the children, i have two girls ages 10, 12 and if some man came into my life and thought he was just going to blend right in and be their dad believe me they would have something to say about that, you have to earn the kids trust and take things day by day, you cant force them to like you or accept you into the family it also has to be earned, good luck
2007-01-14 22:34:55 · answer #9 · answered by sweetie1995 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sons and daughters are loyal and faithful to thier father. Don't expect much at all--you don't deserve it. You just happened to show up on the scene just to give comfort to the divorced mother.
2007-01-14 22:42:58 · answer #10 · answered by neutral 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋