My best friend is dating a girl who although is probably nice has changed him a lot. he is slacking at work, messing up his divorce which is costing him money and neglecting his friends especially me. he wont see any of us without her around, and although he talks to me on the phone 3 or 4 times a week he has not seen me alone once in the last 6 months and only seen me 4 times during then with her. His personality has changed everyone has noticed, hes very happy though just unreliable and not a goo dfriend anymore. So much so when i got bad test results and he wld normally have come over to see if i was ok he didnt bother and didnt really seem to care which was hurtful. i have finally told him i need to talk to him alone and he is coming over tonight to talk.... what is everyones viewpoint - hes lost all his other friends they have moved on as have i but a part of me thinks i shld give him a chance to change or understand whats going on i think he is oblivious. hes a nice person .
2007-01-14 22:22:13 · 13 answers · asked by confused 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
im his divorce lawyer as well!! thats how i know he has lost 50k or more as he is so busy living it up on teh weekend with her he doesnt file what he needs to and has 3 adjournments already as for work - a friend of mine is his biggest client and he has been leting that slip and people in the same profession as him are bad mouthing him for messing up a lot and neglecting his job which is easily noticeable and its a small town we are all in. he has defineitly not got perspetive but i dont think its a rebound - he was a classy well respected individual she is a punk rock goth chick and it has brought out that side in him which he seems happy with but for some reason cant get agood balance withthat side work adn old friends
2007-01-14 22:23:49 · update #1
Well, if you're actually serious it seems as though he'll have to figure out all you've stated on his own. If he has indeed lost 50K through this process he's oblivious as you say. Sounds like he'll have to go all the way down before he snaps out of it. So looks like you just have to wait it out.
2007-01-14 22:30:35 · answer #1 · answered by zp055att 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try and talk to him tonight. Let him know you miss his friendship and are concerned for the path e is currently on. But i wouldn't risk saying anything too hurtful as you dont want to jeopordise the friendship altogether.
Other than that i think the only thing you can do is be there if it all goes wrong and don't say i told you so.
If this chap is on a downward spiral you can't go back to the top until you have reached rock bottom.
Good luck!
2007-01-14 23:43:30 · answer #2 · answered by peachy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let's see attny client privelege aside you know someone who is screwing up his life and you are blaming the screwing up of his life on the new gf? I think you should let him read this question. when he realizes what an idiot he has for an attny he will wake up smell the coffee and return to his normal self in an instant.
/Seriously
all you can do is let him know what kind of an a__ he is making of himself. and all the gossip that is going around about him in his own professional circles and then let him make his mistakes. what ever his profession the goth's are people too and need professional services so maybe that can be his new niche??
good luck on your next test???
2007-01-14 22:39:18 · answer #3 · answered by jumpingbea58 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to help then get to work.Investigate the bad side of the girl and present it to you friend be able to provide real evidence.If he still wants to be with her then all is lost.He will realise his mistake in future.But at the moment dont give up try your best.Show him the conseguences of his action and show him what changes have already taken place and ask him if they are adverse or postive.Let himself provide the answer.
2007-01-14 22:38:04 · answer #4 · answered by jus-tus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a true friend- you can see the change in this guy but can't do a damn thing about it!
The best thing for you to do (which will be the hardest thing for you) is to leave him to get on with it and that way he will learn from his mistakes!
A true friend will ALWAYS be there AFTER things go **** up!
Be there for him when he's seen the light!!!
2007-01-15 06:23:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it sounds to me like hes pretty caught up in this girl which happens alot he must really like her which is good but him avoiding his friends is not good at all. my advice is to just do what your doing have the talk with him and hope for the best let him know exactly how you feel and that hes still one of your closest friends and you still need him in your life and your relationship doesnt include his new gf at all times. he needs to get that if somthin were to happen wit his girl his friends and family is all hes got left and he cant forget about that. but give him time he'll realize it exspecially after you talk to him!
2007-01-14 22:53:20 · answer #6 · answered by kelse v 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well they say love is blind and it seems he has been blinded.
I think the best thing to do is talk to him. Tell him everything that you feel about him and is relationship, how hurtful he has been sometimes and how much he has changed. He needs to realise this. hopefully he will see sense but if he doesnt i suggest you leave him to make his own mistakes and move on.
2007-01-15 03:44:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm surprised your boyfriend is allowing this. perhaps you will desire to start calling your ex-boyfriend(s) to cling out at your abode, see how your boyfriend likes that. For now, be the bigger guy or woman, yet take a seat which includes your boyfriend and tell him merely how uncomfortable you're with the placement. tell him the way you experience as though his sister and his ex is bobbing up rigidity. i could prefer to function, this rigidity would desire to doubtlessly harm your relationship along with his component to the family members, verify he's responsive to this.
2016-10-20 05:38:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just see what happens to night if he turns up with this girl and not on his own then just leave him to do what he wants he Carnot really see what he is doing to him self loosening loads of money and ****. but then when he has lost these things he will try and come back to u for support just tell him no y tried ages ago and wouldn't listen. just get on with your own life and forget his.
2007-01-14 22:32:25 · answer #9 · answered by shell 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make sure u dnt by any chance tell him dat his girl has changed him for bad......
just keep praising his girl and on the same try telling him how much he has changed.......its a trick that will not break ur frndship on any reason........
talk abt the whole thing n how u both hav buil up distance.......
telll him its ok if he spend tyme on his gurl but he shud giv his work n frnds an equal tyme too.........
tell him if he works well it will help him wid his gurl........he can giv her a luxuary life........
2007-01-14 23:51:20 · answer #10 · answered by crazyash 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋