treats you like trash,divorce is not an option for now please.
2007-01-14 21:51:38 · 73 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Leave him.
2007-01-14 21:54:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its difficult to answer becuase you haven't put too much detail into your question - like how he is treating you like trash, and what sort of situation you're in to make divorce NOT an option.
Firstly vocalise how you feel, there are times when stress etc. becomes too much and a person genuinely doesnt realise they are treating you badly until you make it aware to them.
Do more on your own; go out with friends, socialise, take long walks, do a class or anything that interests YOU! It will give you time away from you partner, give you time to think and may make him realise that you are able to enjoy yourself without him.
But the fact that you say he was keen and now he's being an **** means that you have to question whats going on, is he being like this to anyone else or just to you?? Ask him why, if he cant give you an explanation tell him how it makes you feel. If that still doesn't make the difference then consider how you can continue the realtionship if you are unhappy!
Good luck!
2007-01-14 22:00:42 · answer #2 · answered by June 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every relationship has its ''Honeymoon period'' once thats over people often feel things are different and miss the special moments they shared in the beginning.
If he truly wanted you that badly then he will come around eventually. These things need time to settle.
The worse thing that you can do is be overly nice to try to gain his affection, and also overly nasty to play him at his own game.
Divorce is not what you want here, otherwise you would not be on here asking for help to save the marriage.
The best advice I can give you is to look at yourself first.
Do not over analyse things. Just look at how you behave towards him. Do you act as tho you are needy? Do you do things to get his attention? We all do this at times but its all about balance. Do you ask him how his day was? Do you show an interest in his life? sometimes when we are treated like a princess we forget taht they have needs too. Im not saying that you are neglecting him in any way but sometimes we just overlook things. Things that dont SEEM important to tne person can be important to the other.
Once you have had a good look at yourself and what you are doing and how you are behaving and reacting to him, then you will be able to sit down and, without sounding like a martyr, you will be able to talk this through.
Rome was not built in a day, Marriage takes a lifetime to grow. Saying ''I do'' is only the seed of marriage being planted. It must be tended and cared for and worked at to make it grow into a beautiful and longlasting creation.
Good Luck
2007-01-14 22:24:05 · answer #3 · answered by jens21angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being his victim and do whatever's necessary to stand up for yourself or get out of the marriage. I wonder why divorce is not an option - is this what makes him think he has a right to treat you like trash?
2007-01-22 06:19:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He treats you like trash and divorce is not an option?? That makes no sence to me at all. Are you trash? If so, let him do as he does...If you're not trash then you need to demand fair treatment and leave him till he makes some effort to deserve you as his partner again. Beware he seems to know how to get you but feels that he owns you and does not have to work once you accept him. Not a good personality trait.
2007-01-21 17:39:20 · answer #5 · answered by I'm her mommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how that is. Try talking to him and expressing your feelings. Don't accuse start with something like, When we talk sometimes it hurts my feelings because I don't feel like... or something of that nature. Maybe write him a letter and express your love for him and what you are looking for. You can also go to counseling if he is willing. There must be something bothering him and some unmet need. Try to work it out if divorce is not an option. I wish you the best and just remember that some men tell you what you want to hear so that they can get what they want and once they get it they toss it to the side. I am sorry to tell you such harsh things but it is true. Be careful and I honestly hope that it works out for you.
2007-01-19 05:27:54 · answer #6 · answered by Lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without trying to sound awful - perhaps he is now bored. I don't mean of you or anything or that you are a bad person or even that he doesn't want to be with you.
Perhaps it was the thrill of the chase. It is exciting for some people to do that and now that he has married you there isn't much more to do in terms of chasing.
Perhaps try and do something different to try and liven things up a bit. I am sure its just a lull after all the excitement. There is a huge build up towardsa wedding and then after, thats it. Nothing else to look forward to.
Keep at it and if you love him i am sure you will find things will pick up eventually.
2007-01-14 22:43:13 · answer #7 · answered by peachy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
L E A V E H I M ! ! ! Nobody deserves to be treated like trash. I for one just got married and in our first month of marriage I got accused of of being abusive to my wife. In our second month of marriage I got hit a few times. In our third month of marriage I am thinking about a divorce. It sucks loving someone that doesn't even respect you at all.
2007-01-21 01:27:00 · answer #8 · answered by Macky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Treating you like trash is called ABUSE! Don't think that God's going to strike you down for leaving a bad situation if you're the religious type. Give your husband an ultimatim. Tell him firmly that you both will attend marraige counseling and if he refuses then pack your things. If he cared whatsoever about you he will go. Don't accept any groveling of him promising to change, that is horseshit and he'll go back to his old ways. It's marraige counseling or nothing. I can tell you from years of experience that if you don't stand your ground you will get run over like a freight train and it will be harder to leave the longer you are there. You have to set consequences for his actions and follow through with them. If you lay on your back and take it like a dead fish you will be in much worse situation this time next year. Don't be stupid about this. If he refuses to treat you with respect you cannot be with him. Simple as that. Have enough respect for yourself to do this. Hindsight is 20/20.
2007-01-20 15:36:00 · answer #9 · answered by goturanswer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this happens. I have been through a similar scene in my life.
I think it has to do with a man is not mature enough for the marriage life.
Someone said..a women marries a man ..hoping to change him and a man marries a women hoping she will never change.
Did one or both of you change that much?
I don't know your age but with age comes wisdom and when people change it is not always for the good. Good luck and I hope things work out for you. It sounds like you need some professional help. Get someone who is worthy of your trust. One last thing...no matter what happens don't drop your standards..people do that after they have been a bad relationship
2007-01-20 16:29:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on he will not change and neither will his mom. I put up with my mother in law being first in our marriage till the day she died, which I helped take care of her bed ridden for 10 months. Then he got money and she made sure it was made out just to him. All he did was have money to play I held in for 37 years . Don't waste your life. you said divorce is not an option now. There is never a good time. I wish I had NOT WASTE MY LIFE THINK HE WAS GOING TO CHANGE. If he does not have the guts to stand up to her now , he never will. I learned the hard way and wasted my youth on a mom's boy for nothing.
2007-01-22 07:16:11 · answer #11 · answered by springer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋