i am about 2 stone heavier now than when i met my hubby 5 years ago,2 kids,comfort eating etc. I am going to the gym 3 times and swimming also each week. Why does he offer me sweets and choc is he testing my resolve or sabotaging my efforts. i have very little willpower as it is. I am 10 years younger than him,is he worried?
2007-01-14 21:30:07 · 22 answers · asked by heebygeeby 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he's diabetic and shouldn't be eating it anyway,mummy pig is my pet name,how sexy is that. everyone calls me it.
2007-01-14 21:46:51 · update #1
This is written in the Hebrew Talmud, the book
where all of the sayings and preaching of
Rabbis are conserved over time.
It says: "Be very careful if you make a woman
cry, because God counts her tears. The woman
came out of a man's rib. Not from his feet to be
walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but
from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be
protected, and next to the heart to be loved."
2007-01-14 21:33:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 2⤋
He is most likely just doing it through habbit. It must have began when you first met and he just cant shift it now. I bet you in the beginning he would still offer you sweets and 'nice things' just as he does now. Its a sign of affection.
I am always buying my husband bards of chocolate on my way home, just as a little 'I love you' kinda thing.
As for the ''Mummy pig'' thing, It can be one of two things. They say in life that we create our own self-images, so perhaps you either have at times been ''pig-like'', perhaps stuffing your face with sweets at the cinema or some sort of pleasure/comfort eating,(not meaning to sound harsh there, but it could be how you have gained the weight and how others have seen you) or perhaps its just that they all see you as having that role within the ''piggy'' household,,,,, after all where would the little piggies have come from if it were not for mumy pig and the 'big bad wolf'. lol !
There seems to be some irony there, dont you think???
You stay strong and the weight will come off. Keep that image of the slimmer you in your head so that any time you get tempted or someone puts temptation in front of you, you will stay true to yourself and reach your goal.
Good Luck
2007-01-15 06:03:42 · answer #2 · answered by jens21angel 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He may feel uncomfortable with the fact that you will soon be a sexy new shape. You need to talk to him about this aspect of it. Reassure him you love him whatever size you are.
Please change your name from Mummy Pig. Especially at home. Tell the kids and him that you will no longer answer it. The kids should call you just Mummy and he should call you your name, or darling or sweetheart or something. Just dont answer when they call you that and they will quickly drop the habit!
Good luck with the dieting and exercise. I am also trying to lose weight and it is not easy!
2007-01-15 11:26:17 · answer #3 · answered by Caroline 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As he is an older man I believe your husband may be unconciously trying to keep you unattractive to other males as he fears loosing you if you become attractive in the eys of others (especially the younger and more "handsome" ones). This is a not uncommon occurrance, thought the approaches used are often psychological (such as saying there wives/partnersare worthless, ugly or stupid - so why would anybody elese even want to look at them.)
I don't believe your husband is in this group of control freaks, I expect he may have low self image of himself, worries about more handsome men taking you away, loves you a great deal and worries about you leaving him. Some of all of this may be subconcious but you need to talk to him, reassure him that he is the love of your life, that you want to look good for his benefit as well as your own (including health). Tell him he is the one for you and explain what you are trying to do and why nad ask for his love and support. If he truly loves you then he will, if he is in that control freak minority it will be better to find out now so that you can plan your escape into real life.
Good luck - I have no doubt that he loves you and worries that you will leave him for someone younger and better looking.
2007-01-15 05:45:08 · answer #4 · answered by David M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hello there - fellow comfort eater here! *smiles* what you didn't mention was that how your hubby feels about you? perhaps he is not trying to sabotage you at all but loves you for the woman you are.... maybe he doesn't realise how this is effecting you and if you asked him to stop he would. He sounds like he just wants to be nice. Ask him to go to the gym together (where possible with kiddies) and do the hard yards together, then enjoy the odd temptation together too! Its all about moderation.
2007-01-15 05:47:08 · answer #5 · answered by kelstar 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, maybe you might think he is sabotaging your efforts, there have been plenty of men before now to feel threatened when their partners slim, they think that they'll lose them to another man.
But it could be that it's not as serious as that - maybe up until quite recently, he got a great response if he brought you home chocolate! Or maybe he thinks you're unhappy (let's face it, diets ain't much fun) and wants to treat you with a little bit of something nice.
Just tell him that it's important to you, for the sake of your self-esteem, to lose some weight, and tell him that you value his help and support. Best wishes to you.
2007-01-15 05:40:06 · answer #6 · answered by GoldieMeg 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your hubby is insecure with your relationship and thinks you're losing weight will attract other men...plain and simple....he's trying to hold on to you. You can try to get him involved. A lot of men resist involvement and then before you know it, they'll be calling you "selfish". You do this for YOU...to improve your health and self-esteem. He should want what is best for you, not salve his ego by bringing you things you aren't suppose to be eating. He feels insecure. He could probably use a gym session himself. Godloveya...stick with it!
2007-01-15 05:49:18 · answer #7 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i m sorry to say but when a man loves a woman he sees through everything .. he does not see you as fat or anything that you may feel for yourself ... he just cares for you too much ... he already knows that u r much more beautiful than the whole humanity ... so he thinks that you should not put effort in useless things as swimming and going to gym ... plus he thinks since u are working so much you deserve the GOOD STUFF ... so he does that .. i know u get irritated ... so u have to talk to him ... but be sensitive to him ... tell him its so sweet that he cares about you and everything but that you need this exercise and everything that you are doing for a better you ... for more self confidence ... just tell him you ll have sweet but not very often .. like once a week ... i m sure once a week wont harm ... and i know that it doesnt .. .have reduced 40 pounds myself ...
he loves you and will help u out in the way you want ... just be sensitive ... talk to him easily and not like the way u have written the questio please ...
and i say all this because i do the same things to my girlfriend .. and she hates me too ... but we do it coz we love you .. and know u are the most beautiful things god has made ... and u r all for us ... so we must take care of you ... .
:)
2007-01-15 05:42:43 · answer #8 · answered by Yash 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Simple answer: Don’t eat that rubbish!! Nobody is forcing you to eat sweets. You should have enough power to resist...
Maybe he is used to offer you sweets, as you always liked them throughout all the years.
Tell him to stop offering you sweets and explain him that it’s hard work for you going to the gym and doing sports. Tell him, that he’s destroying your efforts and that you would expect some help from him. Tell him that you are doing all these efforts because you want to be a attractive wife for him...
... and forbid your family calling you these nice nick-names, that’s absolutely annoying and shows no respect towards your person!!
2007-01-15 07:55:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anita P 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
yes it very definitely sounds like insecurity to me. Explain to him that you're doing this for yourself, him and your children and that you'd appreciate his support as you find it hard to do it without it. get him involved in helping you make healthy meals, invite him to come and exercise with you, don't exclude him from it.
I have the same problem, trying to lose the stone I put on since meeting my boyfriend. I've just explained to him how important it is to me and how low I feel since putting on weight, and how much I'd appreciate his support. Make him feel needed and he might help you.
And good luck to you, well done for doing something about it. I know how hard it is!!
2007-01-15 05:37:08 · answer #10 · answered by monkeynuts 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋