I'm 18 right now and my parents are way overlyprotective. My mom is alright, but my dad is too stricted which drives me crazy. Everytimes I asked him to let me hang out with my friends, his answer is "no". Oh no am I going to be able to have a bf even when i'm 18. I get this feeling that he doesn't even trust me even when i got good grades in school and never get in trouble before. I felt like there's a lack of trust btw us. I tried to tell him that I know what's right and what's wrong, but he just doesn't understand. Everytimes I hang out, he always think of the worse that can happen to me. I know at some circumstance that he just want to protect me, but i need some air to breath also. I'm tired of this. My borther was in the same situation as I was a few years ago. From our parents so controlling he sneak out plenty of times and did what wasn't suppose to do and had move out at the age of 18. Honestly how should i handle this situation and get then to losen up a little? Any advice?
2007-01-14 21:02:05 · 25 answers · asked by ceec 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Wow! you are in a tough situation here. I know exactly what you are going through, was once in that situation b4.
Your father is one of those people we call control freaks, I dont mean to disrespect here but Im gonna lay it down the way it is. He was once a boy and he knows what boys can do, even if you are careful so he has set his mind to totally prevnt you from such. Its not that he does not trust you because it is clear from what you are saying that you are a trustworthy person. In his mind he think he is protecting you but he is denying you your right of passage.
What you can do is try talking to your mother about this issue, I mean real talk, get her to listen to you. Forget about trying to convince your dad otherwise bçoz you cant. Just stay good, maintain good appearance. If you sneek out like your brother, you might end up like him and dont use an angry tone when you are talking to them.
1. Dont try to talk to them when you are angry or when they are angry, nobody thinks straight in an angry mood
2. Parents are easy in a happy and relaxed mood, so grab your chance there and do some real talk,
I hope I have shed a bit of light to your life, good luck with your parents.
2007-01-14 21:37:22 · answer #1 · answered by boago d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I live in Australia and over here 16 is legal to move out I am not sure what it is where you live. At 18 is the legal age to anything here like drinking and going to clubs so my beliefs are you are an adult and you don't have to do what your parents say.
But if you live where the adult age is 21 then i suppose they are only doing what they think is right you have to understand being a parent is hard and if your parents are like they are then maybe that should be an indicator of how much they love you some people don't get that in there lives.
2007-01-14 21:10:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should follow your brother's example and move out. Perhaps your brother can help you, if you ask him for help.
Moving out at 18 years of age and trying to make a living on your own is not exactly a good thing to do. You'll probably end up working at a minimum wage job. But living like a kid when you are already an adult will probably be worse.
Happiness in life comes from finding friendship, love, and being a part of the community. And your ability and social skills to find such happiness will be severly impaired, if you continue to live as a kid when you are already an adult.
Your parents don't understand this or they don't care. But either way, it's' not up to them any more. It's up to you to choose how you want to live.
2007-01-14 21:23:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although you are grown you do not have the right to run the streets as long as your living in your parents house. You need to appreciate the fact that they let you live there even though your;e grown because some teens are out soon as they turn 18. Be grateful that you have parents that care about you and stop being such a spoiled brat!!
2007-01-15 01:03:28 · answer #4 · answered by Live.Laugh.Love 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Legally you can move out and actually how about uni in a different city... He has no say then.
You are not being selfish or a spoiled brat.
You are not a child you are now a young adult woman.
As for he knows what boys are like... Say yeah you know what girls are like , as you are one and its the girls who pull the boys and get to pick who they shag.
The girls play the boys.
Do you want to be one of these people who at 35 after menopause is still at home.
18 you should be getting laid all the time
He needs you to say if he does not back off you will move out and never speak to him again.
If hes worried about your safety tell him to prove it by paying for self defence lessons such as.
www.kravmaga.co.uk
And also kick up a fuss.
Buy a big rabbit vibrator, show him and say can I have batteries for this as you dont want me to do it with a boyfriend. Point out the law. ie 16. you are 18.
Ie how can he stop you having a boyfriend?
Go and get one if you like someone, Snog in front of his house and be prepared for a fight and fight back.
He is bullying and controlling NOT protective.
also
the notion of hes paying food and stuff so his rules... ask ok
Would I have to **** you or your friends as well? How far should his rules go?
He is abusing power. Thats not right.
Dont ask him if you can hang out with friends... TELL him... Go an an assertiveness course.
If he was worried about you being in danger ask him why he does not teach you to fight and fight dirty and with weapons.
If he continues the way he is you will move out and thats the end of his family as why would you want to come back? if no love just a prision.
You HAVE to live you life its at its peak... If you dont you will be stuck there forever.
Get boyfriends, bring them back and fight him if he has a problem.
Tell him you aint a virgin no more.
If he hits you hit him back in the balls and lay into him and tell him he tried that you will have him for assault.
Alter tha balance of power.
And if he threatens to kick you out threaten to torch the house...
If he does that, he does not have a home either.
2007-01-15 01:36:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're 18. Can you get a job ? Get your own apt.? Sometimes you just have to do things yourself. Being overprotective has it's faults too. When it's time to leave the nest, it can be devastating to find out that it is a really cruel world out there, and that most people won't treat you kindly like your family will. There are a lot of dishonest, conniving, manipulative people out there that treat your kindness as stupidity, and they will try to take advantage if they can.
2007-01-14 21:17:03 · answer #6 · answered by Scorpius59 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your 18, by law your an adult but the fact remaisn you live under there roof so under there rules so there is really nothing you can do other then try talking to them or move in with a friend or family member.
2007-01-15 03:37:25 · answer #7 · answered by Diamonds_Glow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a difficult situation because, legally, you are an adult. You are also living under his roof. The best thing for you to do is to move out on your own or go away to college in another town. Just don't go overboard to compensate for years of oppression.
2007-01-14 21:06:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
are you ready to move out and do WHATEVER it takes to support yourself? if not i would follow your parents wishes.
maybe they would be open to helping you find a family with a fine young lad who could be your first beau. seriously. they have known you longer than you have and may be able to find some fine young man for you to fall in love with and get married.
Although bad boys are attractive you a lot of young girls, most of them will only bring you heart ache. they may be fun for a while, but they will use you up and spit you out. you may be smarter for the ordeal, but do you really want to go through that for cheap thrills?
2007-01-14 21:12:18 · answer #9 · answered by sodajerk50 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though you are of legal age, you are living with your parents.
If you wish to eliminate the problem, move out and get an apartment or room with a friend who has her own place.
2007-01-15 17:32:43 · answer #10 · answered by daryavaush 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋