What to do with an annoying collegue?

Question

I have this annoying work collegue, she drives me mad, she keeps tapping her fingers on the desk all day long,she has long nails and all i hear all day long is tick tick tick tick... It is irritating the hell out of me. She also has the horrible habit of repeating the word "So", whenever the office is quiet or we are not talking at lunch she keeps saying....soooooo? Ugggggggggggggghhh!
What else? every morning she drinks coffee or tea,and she slurps her drink , not sips but slurps,as if she is having soup!!!!!!!!!
She also has the habit of humming,she can go on humming over and over,plus,her phone is always vibrating right beside my ear,and she goes on forever with her personal calls it just drives me mad! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
I have told her many times about the humming and the tapping,but its useless she doesnt listen.I dont know what to do!
I tried getting a new desk but I failed, we are short in space,and everyone is happy with their current place!!!! Helppppppppp!!

Answer 1

My first thought would be to kill the b!tch... but... alas... people before us made these pesky laws about murder... *sigh*

I'd annoy her right back. Copy her. When she says "sooooo" - say it back. When she slurps her coffee, slurp louder. When she drums her nails, click your bic or tap your pen.
When she starts humming, sing a song that's notorious for causing ear-worm (getting stuck in her head) like B-I-N-G-O or summing. (Or get an iPod and drown her out - then you can also hum along to whatever song you're listening to...)

Basically, fight fire with fire.
(Or you can get a water pistol and squirt her every time she does something annoying - it's the best way to train a pet...)

Good luck with that - I don't envy your position...

Answer 2

A) and D) yet not particular what D is....maximum circumstances I basically keep away from them and in the journey that they proceed I insult them, besides the actual incontrovertible fact that that would not paintings each and each and every of the time..... they look to face up and say "How am i able to F%^& her day up precise this second?"

Answer 3

Quit

Answer 4

ask someone if they'll switch with you be a total suck-up to them they'll cave in sooner or later or you can do what someone else said "slap the woman"

Answer 5

You can annoy here right back. There's a device called the "annoy-a-tron" - check it out:
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/8c52/

Answer 6

How long has this been happening? After a while, you'll get so used to it that you won't hear it anymore. Just try to tolerate it. Otherwise, get her fired.

Answer 7

The first answer...is a wise answer.

Answer 8

Sounds like she's bored, tell your boss she doesn't seem to have enough to do.

Answer 9

Wow that really sucks.

Answer 10

Slap the woman ....