Married men who got girlfriends?

Question

I've noticed that men who don't feel that they're getting enough sex from their wives immediately seek a girlfriend as a solution to their problem. What I'd like to know is:

1. How many men actually tried talking to their wives before going the girlfriend route?

2. If you went the girlfriend route, did it solve your problem or create more?

3. If your wife found out, what as the outcome and how was your relationship affected?

I'm not trying to pass judgment, I'd just like to hear from men who've had the experience; I'd like to know how the girlfriend solution compared to reality.

OK...I'm not The Girlfriend, I'm happily married. Since I see this issue a lot in Answers, I just want to hear from those guys that have been there. Someone might learn from someone elses experience. I'm not hiding a situation behind this question, I'm just curious about how men have dealt with this.

Answer 1

It must be something in the water because of lately a lot of people I know are going thru this and I'm watching it unfold in various stages between 4 couples I know (some are wives so its the same concept different gender). Here's what I can offer from what I've seen so far:

They tried talking about it or it was painfully obvious was a problem and they still opted to do nothing about it. One of the wives actually said then go find someone else.

The outcomes are different for each scenario but the simple fact is it depends on the people involved.

One couple separated and got back together. The 2nd couple is still in the what should we do stage. The third? It actually ignited I don't know what because they started SWINGING together and the last one became much ado about nothing because the wife came out said it's ok I'd been cheating on you. But it prompted her to stop and they are in counseling

It was ironic that once the shoe was put on the other foot and he was actually honest about it the whole thing became a wake up call because she hated the fact that it happened to HER! But she was the root cause of it!!! So they are in counseling.

During the times with the gf for the most part I think it was actually beneficial they all shared a new type of appreciation as well as new tools to communicate and please each other. It reminded them of the person they knew and the person who once was.

Overall I think it's a chaotic explosion but change usually is. After the dust settled they actually seem to be more solid but i think that's because they are more honest and realized a few things.

Out of all 3 couples I think only 1 is in danger of splitting.

Answer 2

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
Married men who got girlfriends?
I've noticed that men who don't feel that they're getting enough sex from their wives immediately seek a girlfriend as a solution to their problem. What I'd like to know is:

1. How many men actually tried talking to their wives before going the girlfriend route?

2. If you...

Answer 3

Loving the married man. How complex are these 4 simple words? One may read this and say, impossible? No matter what side of the fence you're on both can agree that this is a very controversial and moralistically sensitive topic. How does it begin? The touch of a hand, an innocent conversation, a glance? This is for the women who love their married men and need positive guidance and support to work through their issues

Answer 4

Interesting question!!! I'm very much curious because one of those men who have girlfriends that you are referring to is my husband so i cant wait to read the replies of those other men out there!

Answer 5

I'm guessing that you are the GIRLFRIEND. It does not work because the girlfriend starts to want to spend more time with the husband and that is time he does not have. Eventually everybody gets hurt and trust from all angles gets broken. Get out of it....... Now.

Answer 6

im a female and ive seen females that are just as bad as men when it comes to having boyfriend/girlfriend. I know one situation where the husband and wife were married for 16 yrs and the last 8 of the yrs the wife quit having sex cause there daughter got older and she felt that the daughter shouldnt be exposed to that, and the husband was in the military and was gone 14 yrs out of the 16 yrs they were married, so he had girlfriends and when she found out there was not much she could do or say cause she was not financially able to leave him cause she had spent the whole marriage dependent on him. So they are still married living in separate rooms, living separate lives but they think its better for the daughter if they still live together, which i think is really stupid, so i feel not all relationships are the same to base these questions on, ive seen females have boyfriends and husbands not have a clue, even though all the signs are there, people should just think twice before getting married

Answer 7

Hello, I am an experienced marriage counselor and would like to comment. I see men take this route a lot. Finding a girlfriend usually isn't just for the sexual excitement. Men like to feel the excitement of being around someone different casually as well, maybe just going out for drinks. Most men lose interest in relationships because they feel they have "conquered" everything with that person. It is intriguing for most men just to know they can have another woman. However most men get caught. This is the point when the reality of cheating sets in. They feel very dirty and dishonest and in turn feel that they don't deserve who they are with and continue to cheat just for the mear fact they feel ashamed when having sex with their significant other after being caught. The girlfriend route always seems like the perfect plan to men but they don't realize how they will be effected once they are caught. Hope this answers your questions.

Answer 8

Monogamic marriage was devised in societies for many reasons which cannot be explored here. There are societies which are polygamic e.g. the Mormons, Muslims etc which understand the vital difference between men and women. It is largely a hormonal difference and it is very natural. The chromosome men carry makes the difference. Men as most male animals are the hunters but it is ultimately the woman (female) that accepts or rejects the suitor. So wheather there is a girlfriend (paramour) or a prostitute men will forever be "unfaithful" and "cheating" in order to satisfy their needs.

Answer 9

Interesting concept! I have a few questions I'd like to ask you:

1.) If a married man were to tell his wife(who obviously knows he's horny) that he wanted sex more often, do you think she'd schedule him in somehow?
2.) Why would a man that was already in a sour relationship want to start ANOTHER relationship? Wouldn't it be wiser to just date casually?
3.) There are only 2 possible outcomes from her finding out, in my opinion: a.) she leaves and asks for a divorce, or b.) refer to question #1( she gives him what he wanted in the first place!)

Answer 10

This happened to me recently, found out my husband was calling a girl, text messages back & forth called her up wouldn't talk to me been accusing my husband for a month or so always denying just a customer, fought over it, still keeps his phone and bills so now that made me stronger, tho the trust is gone, but i got strong bcos i have 3 kids with him, but with my investigation found out the girl stopped calling, told me she never knew he was married, just friends, bla bla, bottom line, now a stronger person don't care if he even has a cell phone, do my thing, but the trust is gone.