a 14 yr old that lies?

Question

i have a 14 year old that constantly lies to me and my fiance he says he hates his sisters and he has no repect for me ...or his teachers ........ he gets his brother in trouble alll the time he gets up during the night and eats everything in the house and lies to me about it!!!!!!!!!! he is very cocky to me and can be a real smart @ss he even yells at me... my fiance loves me and is getting very tired of ot how do i get though to him before my fiance blows a gasket???? i tried a heart to heart and counseling seems nothing works ...... if i ask him to do something he tells me NO!!!!! someone out there plzz help me!!!!!!! i love my son but cant handle him .....

THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON BEFORE I MET MY FIANCE'

Answer 1

Well interesting as it is, my 16 year old was in the same phase. I started taking the things that meant anything to him away. I actually walked out on the football field and removed him from the team for a week. He was bad and really not happy after I made him tell his coach and the rest of the team that he lied about his homework. He now has a 3.3 and is moving on along without a problem. Small things like ipods, ps2, gameboys, cd players have a lot of power if you make your child watch as you give it away or throw it away. In your home your child owns nothing you own it. Until your child is 18 you have the total control get inventive. It's great to be a parent!!

Answer 2

This issue could be going way beyond school, you should ask yourself when did this start? And most of all do you think YOU as the parent were really ever in charge? I come from a family of disiplined children, I admit me and my sister were never the most behaved but when he saw a belt or threat (loss of priviledge) be taken away we'd know when to quit. Don't let your daughter notifing authorities scare you. If possible if she ever tries it again or decides to notify someone else who may be close to her or believe to be her 'ticket out' (she's your daughter you SHOULD know her) notify them ahead of time if possible of her possible 'plans' or calls of 'distress'. Talking with her would be must as well. Talk to HER not THROUGH her. (this is where mistakes are so often made, just remember not to involve the whole world in on her problems) talk to her personally yourself one on one not having anyone else present at first, if you think that a family pycheitrist is needed then tell her ahead of time about that even if she protests (this will help her learn to trust you more, then the doctor might be able to diagnose any problems that you may have not noticed present in your daughter) I'm not saying she may have any thing wrong, it could merely be that she feels neglected. P.S If YOU the daughter is reading this, i'm not some 40 year old know it all i'm 15 and I've been through what you went through with a sister who went through worse and let me tell you if you keep doing these things your only hurting yourself! you may or may not care what your parents think so be it! But the person who is mainly being hurt by this is YOU! I don't expect you to realize it now but you will. And when you do you'll be sorry when your parents who i'm sure love you very much aren't there to deal with you, but someone who is less tolerant........THAT'S what will be waiting for you if you call the police station and get taken away by social services. Just think about it.......

Answer 3

most 14 year old will lie to god, even if caught, I think it is hormonal. Also most if not all 14 year olds are smart @sses, as you put it.

Your fiance' needs to understand that with you comes your son and all the problems with that. You also need to tell him that you are the only one that can try and fix this. What does dr. Phil say about step parents disciplining step children, He say they SHOULD NOT. that it just confuses the child.

I know he loves him but it really should just be you.

As for the eating. A growing 14 year old may just be really really hungry and that is why he is eating at night or he may even have something wrong that needs to be looked at.

How old is his brother.? Is he old to know not to do certain things with his brother.?

I know counsling has not helped but I think you all need to still keep going.

Answer 4

He's a 14 year old boy. My brother is the same way.

Does he have a PSP? iPod? Video game console? Special privileges? Mom takes those away when my brother lies to her. She starts out small, then goes bigger and bigger. She also makes him do housework.

After all, the reason she had kids was to have slaves around the house ;-). She can order us to do whatever she wants - she has complete control over our lives until we are out from under her roof and financially independent. She has told me that as long as she's paying for my college tuition, she gets input. And I really don't want my tuition pulled. So I listen.

What really matters to him? A girl? A toy? A privilege? See if he listens when what matters is suddenly removed. You are his mother.

Answer 5

He sounds like he needs a good old fashion azz whoopen if you ask me! Now I'll be 15 in march and my momma has whooped me before but my last whoopen was 2 years ago I've been ight since then. There is nothing wrong with whoopen a child as long as u allow them to know u love them still ( like let the cry 5 mins then go let them know u still love them but tell them they need to mind and stuff ) and if your not strong enof to whoop him let ur fiance do it I bet u anything he'll straighten right up

Answer 6

I think the best thing would be like boot camp, Tough love it can hurt but in the end you'll be saving him... I f he is like this to you guys now how do you think he will treat a g/f when he gets older or how easy do you think him to fall in a wrong crowd and start doing things that are illegal.

Answer 7

If you have tried Restriction and other methods of discipline then it is time you talk to him and use the "tough love method". Boot camp works for lots of teens. It's not right for his sister or you and your fiance to be subjected to his bad behavior. Could he be on drugs?

Answer 8

well i lied alot at 14 but that was only so i could party more. i dont know what his issue is. maybe your fiance should talk to him and not you, it could open things up and maybe embarrass your son to the point of stopping his antics
good luck

Answer 9

You have been to soft on your child. You didnt disipline him the right way since he was young and now he knows that you will let him get away with anything. I think military school is a bit harsh but, disipline him a bit harsher.

Answer 10

Could he be trying to break up you and your fiance? Maybe he feels neglected.