Is it better to come out of the closet younger or older?

Question

Im still in the process of accepting im Bi, and i have no intention to come out of the closet anytime soon. My family isntt the type that would accept a gay/bi child. Should i just go on never telling them? or whats a good age?

Answer 1

I would imagine sometime in college would be good. It's a lot more accepted. But I don't have that issue, since I'm quite straight, so I'm guessing here.

Answer 2

much like the question people ask about when it is the right time to have first sex, i don't think there is a "right age". i think everybody is different depending on circumstances and situation..

i just recently accepted that i am bi, and that i am a transgenderist.. i am 33.

i am not ready to dress up or "present" myself to the world as a woman just yet, but when i am ready, that will obviously be the time to tell the world about my transgender values and beliefs..

as far as bisexuality, i've told a few close friends but i won't be telling everyone until the time comes when i have a relationship with a same sex partner for whom i want my family and friends to meet.

now this is just me.. you will need to analyze your situation. if your family is not likely to be accepting, then don't tell them until you have to.. that would be my opinion.

however, it is never good to box all your feelings in. i am finding it very important to talk to people about this.. i've actually reached out and found some new online friends.. some of whom are bi or at least gay/lesbian, and these people have really helped me out so much!

i think you will find GLBT folks to be among the most open and understanding people in the world, because they all know what you are going thru..

feel free to e-mail me if you'd like...

Answer 3

I reckon it's better to wait 'til you're older. Then you can be [a bit more] sure of your sexuality.

Hell, I'm not planning to come out to my family any time soon. OK, so I'm SLIGHTLY obvious, but still... my parents are brain dead in the gaydar department. Shmeh. Suits me.

Yeah, probably wait a bit. Do it when you're comfortable with doing it. And, hell, you've got it lucky with you're parents. You're BI. You could still marry a nice girl and settle down and have hundreds of kids.

... and you'd do that because??? Actually, I would like to get married some day. When I find the man of my dreams.... **sigh**

Anyway, sorry. Yeah, don't make such a big deal of it is my advice. Go with the flow.

And, hell. Have fun!!

xoxoxo

Answer 4

I was about 9 when I accepted my bisexuality. My brother already knows but the rest of the family doesn't because I'm not ready for them to know, and I'm 17. But if you're in these age brackets:

9-13: Tell a close friend and see how they handle it before telling someone OTHER than your mom/dad/close family member.

14-18: By this age, someone in the family close to you should have some knowledge of your orientation (my brother knew without me telling him), be it in the way you act of if you've felt comfortable enough to tell them.

19-23: If you're still not comfortable leaving the safety of the closet, try easing it out to a close-yet-distant family member and see how it goes. Don't rush things, there are still 50-year-old homosexuals out there somewhere who have still not come out. No one knows better when the time is right but you.

Hope this helped.

Answer 5

It is better to come out when you are younger, but not under 18 or still in high school. So do as Jack says, wait until you are college age (18+). As for telling family, you really must do that (once you are 18+ and out of high school), because you will not accept yourself until you have overcome (what you think will be) their disapproval. Chances are they will be less resistant than you think, but, in the end, even if they throw a hundred fits, what they think really does not matter. It is what you KNOW that matters.

Answer 6

sweetie. that is by no skill too previous to go back out. when I first said this question i theory should be you've been verging on your 1960s, yet then i see that your in effortless words 23! you've an outstanding quantity of your existence prior to you to commence relationships and strengthen and hit upon your sexuality, and also you're fortunate that you already seem confident of your self! Many adult adult males receives married to women and stay something of their lives pretending to be at liberty, all alongside having the lurking feeling that they recognize they could were happier with a guy. It appears like you're surrounded by technique of many supportive loving human beings, and they settle for you and understand you for who you're. i imagine you should question what it truly is in my opinion it truly is holding you from completely 'popping out' and being open about your sexuality. this may be the hardest aspect, yet once you understand the concern and deal with it, you'd be a lot extra confident and able to get available and commence your love existence. do not enable minimum journey end you... it really is the position it starts! good success, i desire you meet someone fantastic.

Answer 7

The right age to come out is whenever you are ready. Since you are bi you can wait forever if you want to since you can actually love girls and thus not be fake-dating to hide your sexuality. However, you won't be truly happy unless you come out so try to come out as soon as possible, but only when you're ready. I personally came out when I was 17, but I've heard stories of people who dont come out until they're in their 40s or 50s. Don't worry about your parents; my mom doesn't accept gay/bi children either but she doesn't treat me any different after finding out I was bi.

Answer 8

As long as you know who you are and what you want and are happy with you -- then them knowing is unimportant, but I pity them for their prejudice when you obviously love them so much.

I would draw the line at pretending. The way I would go about it in your position would be to not tell them that you were bi or gay, but I would not pretend not to be nor tell gay jokes, nor the other things that they might expect either.

Therefore I would be true to myself and deferrent to them.

Kind thoughts,

Reyn
[e-mail]
http://www.rebuff.org

Answer 9

You will probably find a time in the future when you will come out to different family members at different times. More importantly is that you are true to yourself and to the people you make love to.

Answer 10

When you feel comfortable enough, you'll come out. I waited a very long time to come out, i just came out 1 1/2 years ago after my 50th birthday. Don't wait as long as i did, i wish i came out in my 20's.