no sex drive!!?

Question

i have not had any interest in sex since being pregnant .. and now that my son is 4 1/2 months old..i still dont want it..dont miss it .. nothing!! im not sure if this is caused by the hormones in my pregnancy or due to mistrust with my partner. What can i do to restore the sex life.. he wants it all the time .. but always wants oral (which i dont want to do at this time) and when he has sex..its "are you ready" or "i have something for you" got its such a turn off.. i dont get anything out of it. HELP ME... its killing our relationship...although i try to explain to him i have no sex drive

i have spoken with my doctor about 2 months ago when i had the Mirena put in (form of birth control) she said to give it time...since i just had a baby and i have a 2 year old at home. i loved sex before i was pregnant this last time. possible due to the stress of relationship (found out he cheated when i was about 9 months pregnant at my 2 year olds b-day party) anyways...my doctor said to just wait it out...im just tired and need time to recouperate. but this is so frustrating...could trust cause me to feel nothing during sex?

Answer 1

Honey, it has EVERYTHING to do with trust and with your relationship. Many recent polls show that women cite their relationships as the major reason for their disinterest in sex.

Get some help. I can see why you don't want to have sex with him. What a horrible way to live. I wouldn't want sex with a man like that either. The two of you need to work on this together and it's NOT about giving a man "the goodies" for crissakes. It's about a relationships between two people and he's not making you feel emotionally safe.

Counseling may help. Tell him his marriage is on the line and if he won't go, go without him. There is much to be done alone even if it only means learning how to leave him.

Good luck, honey.

Answer 2

I've felt that way. When my lover actually gets to have sex with me, I really really enjoy it, I just don't want it otherwise. Well, sometimes since going on birth control and going off of prozac (which made me manic and rose my sex drive to that never seen by man or woman kind before). I think what you need to do is talk to your husband. While what's going on may be hormonal, it also sounds like there's other psychological factors going on as well. First, there's the trust issue. If you are not already, I suggest you talk with a counsellor together. Second, the way he approaches sex, that's something that you can just tell him "you know what honey, when you say those things it turns me off it's just so tacky and loveless. Try approaching me like this... or like this..." Talk to him about your lack of a sex drive and also try to improve your own sex drive. Make sure you have time for yourself to fantasize and masturbate. Tell your husband you need this alone time and have him watch the kids for awhile. That alone time will help you rediscover your sexuality and you're sex drive should boost. If you just don't feel like having that time, take a warm bath alone and explore. Don't give yourself expectations. You need to communicate with your husband your feelings towards sex since there are other issues going on. Talk freely with him. Tell him you don't want to give him oral sex all the time, but suggest a 69 or you favour him and he favours you ;)

Answer 3

It has alot to do with hormones, but also energy. I'm sure your pretty tired with such a young child. Some times after having a baby we just don't feel sexy.
Talk to your doctor about your symptoms. She/he will help you out. Good Luck and Congratulations on your bundle...

Answer 4

I think you're relationship is already dead. You just need to bury it. I was in a marriage for over 10 years and thought I hated sex, until we split up that is. Now that we're divorced and I am IN LOVE with another man, I can't get enough. It's not you, it's the relationship and your partner who is obviously lacking in many departments You may have a child but that doesn't mean that there aren't plenty of great men just waiting for you.

Answer 5

My spouse's dropped off after every child, for approximately 12-18 months, however picked up step by step and she or he is now a lot more energetic (youngsters nine and eight) than earlier than. She began exercise (strolling) yr after our moment, which would have helped. She's more healthy than earlier than (despite the fact that no longer aggressive/athletic). The lull after every child is infamous and blamed for plenty of marital disorders (together with sleepless nights, no time on my own, and many others.). Just ensure you bear in mind to do matters for yourselves, spend time, move out, destroy every different, items, and many others. Keeping up with those romantic matters will ensure that after your frame is able, you continue to love every different and desire to get it on. You would must do your excellent to muster a few enthusiasm meanwhile.

Answer 6

Ask your doctor if he/she could recommend a counselor/therapist you and your husband could talk to. There are issues in your relationship larger than just your lack of interest in sex. Trust, after lost, is difficult to regain: Sometimes taking years to re-establish.

Answer 7

Did you ever have one? I mean before you got pregnant? Don't you want it, too? Your doctor can probably help you out. I'd be doing something.... A man won't stick around without the goodies. Catch a grip.

Answer 8

It could be that some where in your mind you think he has caught something from cheating on you making you lose interest in him sexually.

Answer 9

It may be hormones out of wack... like post partum depression. .Talk to your dr about it. n