Crying infant question?

Question

baby is 3 1/2 months old and very attatched to mother. Baby is being breast fed. When left alone she cries and seems to fight sleep. Wife says she MUST pick her up when crying because if she doesn't, she will turn blue because she cries so hard. I thought it was best to let them just cry, but am I wrong?

Answer 1

I've heard that it can be best to let them cry at times, but, I don't believe it.

When my son was a baby, I picked him up whenever he cried. He was a baby and he needed to feel secure. They are so tiny and helpless and need to be loved, adored, hugged, and those needs should be met. I never had a problem with getting him into a sleep routine. I feel that the security I gave him made him easier to get into a routine. He's now 12 and did not become whiny or clingy from being picked up each time. He's loving, sweet, well-adjusted, and an all-around great young man who comes to me often "just for a hug and kiss, Mom". I Iove that!!

As parents, we all do the best that we can do. I believe that extra love and care can never go wrong. But, not giving enough love and care can never be right.

Answer 2

If the baby is doing this like everytime mom goes into another room, then let her cry for a few minutes (just before the blue stage) to see if she calms. If she doesnt then put your (dad or whoevers watching her) finger in her fist and put your other hand under her butt and lightly bounce her, just so she knows your there until she calms down. You should take your finger back b4 you move your bouncing hand. Making some type of noise (singing, humming, etc.) helps too, just make sure she can hear you. Mom can try the same thing to break the clingy-ness. It's gonna take a few times for her to get use to it, so shes gonna scream for the first few minutes (about 5-15 minutes). For the sleeping problem you should always play some type of soothing sounds or music, in her room, so she can relate the noise to mom and when mom leaves turn the music up a little bit until shes asleep, then turn it down enough to hear her breathe over the monitor. If this none even phase her- she just may be- spoiled. You wont give her emotional problems if she cries for awhile, but if you jump upon demand this will be your simplest problem her whole childhood. -by the way once she turns blue monster she will turn back into a princess again.

Answer 3

I am a single mother and my daughter was a prime........if all her needs are met such as diaper, feeding, shes in no pain etc.....then there is nothing wrong With letting her cry. The best thing 2 do is about ever 15 mins to go in and pat the babys back or what ever calms her........don't pick her up! The patting clams and sooths them and lets them know you are still there.... it may seem tedious but if you stick 2 it after a few nights you will have a baby that sleeps through the night.......Take it from a mom its hard but it works........some other things that help are soft music (i suggest sounds like fun) my daughter has listened to it every night for the past 2 years) also when you go in to pat the baby or what not don't talk....or turn on lights....or it will confuse her

Answer 4

A baby cries when it is in distress! Our job as parents is to interpret these emotions and diagnose the reason why! Firstly! does your wife's breast milk contain enough nutrients to satisfy the infant? Does the child need supplements? Is the child warm and comfortable? Or is the child cold? Has there been anything that could have cause the crying such as a upset tummy, headache, or earache If these basics are met, then get a local G.P. to check the infant out professionally for any ailments that could cause these symptoms. Have a good day!

Answer 5

When they are that young (under 6 months), a lot of times the crying is due to painful gas. It's not really an attachment issue; the crying is because of discomfort. I agree with your wife. She (and you) should pick up the baby and try to comfort her, even if you feel that it's in vane. A lot of experts believe that is an important part of establishing a relationship of trust between parents and baby. And don't worry about spoiling the baby. At this age, she is too young to have the mental capacity to "manipulate" you into picking her up. (That is to say that she doesn't have the ability to understand cause and effect.) If she is crying, it is likely gas or some other discomfort, and it is best to go ahead and at least attempt to comfort her. Even if it she continues to cry, know that you are providing at least some form of comfort.

Look up techniques for dealing with colic. Swaddling and putting her in a swing are two things that helped my baby (and me!!) cope with her colic. Good luck! She will be a lot more fun soon. :)

Answer 6

Babies cry for a reason- either hunger, wetness, cold it really doesn't matter what the reasion is they need comforted when they cry- how would you feel if you were totally depending on someone to care for you in every aspect of life and they did nothing for you?? Pick her up and comfort her as she gets older then when they cry you canlet them do so for a little longer but for now she wants something- and as the saying goes Mother Knows Best!!

Answer 7

Both my children were breastfeed and I never let them cry for longer than a few seconds. They are tiny little things that need consoling and comfort. It is so cruel to let babies cry. Espeacially so young.
My daughters both grew up to be independant young ladies (they are now 4yrs and 6 yrs). They are not clingy, I am the one that ended up with the seperation anxiety. But all the kids I know that were left to cry as babies are clingy, insecure and shy.
Just leave your wife alone, she knows what she is doing.

Answer 8

If your daughter is turning blue, then no, she shouldn't be allowed to cry. At 3 and a 1/2 months, I wouldn't worry too much about her being clingy, try waiting another few weeks and slowly work her into a routine where she doesn't need to be held quite so often. Good luck!

Answer 9

Your wife must be a first time mom? It is best to let a baby cry a bit to teach them to settle themselves back down to sleep. By picking the baby up your wife is only causing more problems for later on when the baby gets to be a toddler and won't go to bed.

Answer 10

Myself i could never let my baby cry,some people say you should that they will be spoiled later in life,but the poor little one does not know how to tell you what is wrong or what hurts so they cry,it would just break my heart to see a babe left crying.Babys need to feel loved and the wamth of their parents.