My husband has an employee/coworker that is a little younger than he is. shes the best looking person working there. he seems to talk about her alot more often than the other people he works with. also he has been finding more and more excuses to go to work and get some things done on his days off. or even offering to take peoples shifts, when before he would get upset for having to cover for other people. He talks to her a little friendlier than his other coworkers as well. Should i be concerned?? I did ask him if he had feelings for her and he just laughed it off, and said of course not but i still feel as though he was lying. i love him and have no idea what i should do or if im just being paranoid. help?????
2007-01-14 17:29:57 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Seems like you'd have more reason to worry if he was hiding it. Is the person married? What reason does he have to hang around her? Is she friendly while others are not? Is he lending a kind hand to someone who needs it? None of this sounds bad.
It sounds like you are a bit insecure (not to put you down). Why not find some friends of your own instead of pining away over him? Have some fun going out and don't bother to tell him where you're going. He might find himself more interested in you then. You also might find that you care less.
Also, if you think she is great looking, what is so great about her? Is she thinner? Lose weight then. Don't let her beat you out.
Remember, you have the marriage certificate. If he is fascinated with her (and that could be all it is), then he may tire of it since you are really the important one.
Here's another idea--include her in some things you all do together. Then drool all over him when she's around. She'll get the hint.
There are a lot of different ways to approach the situation. But to question him or whine, cry and make a big deal of it (or follow him around) is probably the worst thing you can do. He'll either come to his senses or leave, and either way, you should use the time to come to your senses and find something more worthy of spending your precious time on. You're worth more!
2007-01-15 11:59:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I would be thinking in the same direction you are. However, you do not know this co-workers home situation do you? She may be happily married or not interested in your husband in a romantic way. Kind of, harmless flirting. Your husband may be enjoying some flirting or the air of the new girl in town. If it gets to the point where you really believe something physical is going on between them, is there someone who works with your husband that would give you information? If not, you could hire a PI to do this. In addition, why don't you show up unexpectedly at his work once in a while and see how she reacts in your presence.
2007-01-15 02:04:36 · answer #2 · answered by soozemusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not know.If he is having an affair with her or not.Just like I do not know.If he is really going to work on his days off or going into work to cover for someone else.Just telling you that in order to keep you in the dark so that he can meet this woman outside of work or setting the ground work so that he can meet her in the future and use work as a cover to keep you in the dark.I do not want to say.He is seeing her.When I really do not know.You know him better then any of us.If you think he is not at work.Then call his place of employment(not his cell phone) ask to speak to him.Look at his paycheck stub and see.If he is working all these hours.He claims to be working.His paycheck stub is not going to lie.I will say.When a person suddenly starts doing things that are completely out of his/her character.There is usually a reason.Why? I think you already picked up on it.No I do not think you are being paranoid.I think you hit the target.When you ask him about her.I think his new interest in work has to do with her.
2007-01-15 04:46:17 · answer #3 · answered by noga 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have alot to worry about. Especially because he talks about her to you. You know in your gut if something is going on. Your not being paranoid. You need to do some snooping... He's not going to tell you he's cheating. If you know anyone he works with ask them a few questions about your husband and this coworker. Can you make a surprise visit to his work place at lunch time? Become a detective my dear........
2007-01-15 01:46:10 · answer #4 · answered by autumn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately I'd be very worried. if it hasn't turned into a physical affair, it's to the point of an emotional affair. i don't know why guys don't understand that emotional affairs hurt us, or that they are real but they are and they do hurt us. I'm thinking since that he laughed it off, he knows that you know something is going on, and he might be more discreet from here on out. he probably has taken for granted what he has at home, or he could find this "thing" with her more exciting(the sneaking around,her flirting and so forth). i hope that he will see that she's not worth losing what he does have with you. good luck!
2007-01-15 01:41:00 · answer #5 · answered by jdchick48 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i would be worried if his behaviour has changed, there's not much you can do though, you are just going to have to trust him and I know that sux. But if u act all shitty and start asking him questions all the time about her and work you will start to look a bit insecure.
I would just show up to his work on his lunch breaks, bring him some lunch and see how he behaves then, who knows he maybe telling you the truth.
just keep an eye out!
Good luck
2007-01-15 01:43:00 · answer #6 · answered by happy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first i have this saying when you assume you make a *** out of U and ME. But its sounds like you have good reasoning. I would def be a little concerned. Not to make you scared but if i was you girl i would def be asking 101 questions to him. Because i bet you anything if he was in your shoes he'd def be asking u questions right? So why shouldn't you. Def make sure he's on the same page as you. Because it'll save time and pain later on. Good luck girl!
2007-01-15 01:41:33 · answer #7 · answered by dishizal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is working extra to buy you something new. It just so happens he is working the extra shifts when this chick is because he already hates work and hates extra shifts but working with her makes it a little more bearable so he can make extra money to buy you something nice.
2007-01-15 02:40:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be concerned. It seems like something might be going on if not already. Just prepare for the worst but hope for the best.
2007-01-15 01:45:36 · answer #9 · answered by JourneyToTheHeart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The next time he talks about her look and see if he has a twinkle in his eye and smile on his face. These are signs he won't be able to hide if he does have feelings for her. I was worried about my husband always talking about this one lady at his work and sure enough he was having an affair.
2007-01-15 01:37:11 · answer #10 · answered by Tgirl 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋