I got divorce about 5 months ago. I was with her for 4 years before we got married. We were only married for 4 months. When she left I asked why. She said she didn’t know why. Now she is going around telling her and my friends and family that I beat her and treated her bad. I never did the things she said I did. I even went as far as to give her everything she asked for. Now she is dating a pot head and has changed completely from the woman I knew. How do I deal with this? I still can’t seem to date. I have had plenty dates since then I just don’t seem to have it in me to do anything. But I am still very lonely. What do I do?
2007-01-14 17:28:17 · 15 answers · asked by Joshua C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Give yourself a break. You have only been divorced five months. You are still heartbroken. Maybe your ex is stating that you did those things to cover up for her own inadequacies. You were together for four years and then once married, it falls apart. But you mentioned something that struck a cord in me. When you state that your ex is now dating a "pot head," I wonder if perhaps she is having some drug addiction related issues that she did not share with you during your marriage or before. I mean, something that has escalated within her and therefore she has changed.
Give yourself some time with the dating thing. As you heal it will come easier. In the meantime, find constructive ways to deal with your current emotions. I have a feeling you will here from your ex again.
2007-01-14 17:37:57 · answer #1 · answered by soozemusic 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is not quite the same but what I did when my husband flat lined. I got a new hair do, new make over. Moved and redid the apartment. I did for me, gave my self a whole new make over.
This helps but the loneliness will have to fade with time. So learn to love your self and remember you are better for what you have learned. If you are still in the same living quarters then redecorate, make it new to you. There is lots of help out there from those that work, where they sell paints, curtains, and everything you need. You will find that giving your self a new look and making your place look new then you can move on. Besides it will give you something to do beside linger on the past.
Good Luck and enjoy life.
2007-01-15 01:43:05 · answer #2 · answered by twentyeight7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sure that your family and friends know you well enough to know that she isn't telling the truth. It will hurt though as you can't prove what goes on behind closed doors. When we split up with someone we love or even not love there is a big piece of what used to be our lives missing. It can take a while to get your life back on track, but you don't have to look for someone to replace her just go to places to be with people maybe a new course at college, keep-fit or walking group, a debating society or something that you've always wanted to do but never got round to it. Car maintenance or DIY or rock climbing. Good look
2007-01-15 01:39:44 · answer #3 · answered by Ann O 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So change you to the person you never knew. The one who can get over this loser biatch. Yeah it is hard, real hard, but notice all the women smiling at you because they are. Chicks dig you. Go have a rebound relationship and let them know up front. Go find some dudes to hang with. Go get a woman friend, maybe in same situation and just BS at a bar or coffee shop for hors. Get it out, and it will float away. Let this woman know that you are back out there and she made a big mf-ing mistake. and don't take her back.
2007-01-15 02:46:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pray to the God of all comforts to give you peace of mind and forgiveness. If you find salvation in Jesus Christ, you just can't tell how it would turn out for your good although it seems nothing but bad now. Dating isn't the solution for a broken heart. It doesn't matter what people think either as long as you and God know the truth. God said He would not leave His children comfortless and Jesus is the way to the Father. Jesus is touched with the feelings of our infirmaties (troubles, illness, sorrow, etc.). He truly understands and can mend broken hearts. I know. And I tell the truth when I say my ex abused me. God can still restore homes though but people still make their own choices. Just do your best to serve God and then put it in His hands and be patient.
2007-01-15 02:14:16 · answer #5 · answered by Lovin' Mary's Lamb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel really sorry for you i couldnt even begin to imagin how hurt you must be feeling. She is the biggest looser for leaving you. And you need to realise that you deserve someone who will treat you right not someone who will break there vowels. I think that you should spend lots of time with your friends get out and just enjoy life you traveal too. Do all the things you couldnt do before you were together. Life is way too short to be in love with someone who doesnt love you back. You may need some time to heal, maybe you just need to cry, anything to release stress. I feel your pain my fiance broke up with me and he really hurt me, i know that feeling of lonliness. But give it time youll get there. all the best i hope that all your dreams come true. xoxoxx
2007-01-15 02:32:00 · answer #6 · answered by Nat555 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need time, don't force yourself into dating. Right now you won't make good decisions anyway. Take time to figure out what you really want and don't settle for less. You know the truth about your relationship with her. If people believe her than they really don't know you so there for you don't need them around. Remember SHE knows the truth as well. She is the one who will have to live with the guilty conscience.
2007-01-15 01:38:19 · answer #7 · answered by uuummk 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
for your friends and family all you have to do is tell them that you didn't do that to her and if they don't believe you then its thier lose and she is probably saying that because she is smoking pot as well no doubt and she wants everybody to think she is better then you and as for the dating thing just keep dating people and the one that is right for you will come along soon
2007-01-15 01:34:55 · answer #8 · answered by megan p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its time to move on. I know it is hard to do. I went through a similar situation. It also sound as if you are depressed. Maybe you should see a Doctor and get some professional help. To help get through this.
2007-01-15 05:40:59 · answer #9 · answered by Janst 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's into a scummy & unhealthy lifestyle and doing drugs and lying.
Consider yourself to be rid of one major problem in your life.
You will do much better from this point forward.
Find new activities and enjoy yourself!
2007-01-15 01:32:53 · answer #10 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋