Can you write an amusing paragraph or 2 or more and include these movie quotes?

Question

1. Good bye love.Hello pop-tarts.
2. I am the same color as the Department of Motor Vehicles and you look like A FLOWER
3. Yes, honey. The schmuck, who deserves to die, worries about you.
4. I'm so glad they still work. I haven't used them for kissing in such a long time, more like for wearing lipstick... and whistling.
5. Can I email it to ya when I figure it out?
6. I'm like the dumb girl that doesn't get it. I've never been the dumb girl before. It ain't so great.

Answer 1

In just a matter of hours, I lost the love of my life, failed life, and managed to drink a 6 pack of coke. I'm feeling like a lowlife loser. I'm like the dumbgirl that doesn't get it. I've never been the dumb girl before. It ain't so great. Funny, I've always been so focused on not being stupid, that I am being stupid. I felt like if he wasn't smarter than me, I'd definately lose him. Either way, he's gone.
Our last argument was the worst ever, and I was still playing dumb. I don't know why, maybe I thought he could still love me. That little _______. He insulted me worse than ever. But want to know what I said when he told me, "You're playing blonde sweetie, stop smiling in a lightning storm,", I told him "Can I email it to ya whe I figure it out?" I really was being a dumb blonde, and it was all on purpose. Yes honey. The shmuck who deserves to die, worries about you. I love you, why? But he said something that made me think we were still in love, "I am the same color as the Department of Motor Vehicles and you look like a flower." I could have fainted, but of course he followed it up with an insult, "A flower that's half dead, and in Britney Spears' hair!"
My jaw flew open, "I hate you!" I screamed dropping the blonde act. Then I kissed him, and slapped him. I couldn't believe how good my lips were! I'm so glad they still work. I haven't used them for kissing in such a long time, more like for wearing lipstick... and whistling. He looked at me, sadly. We both knew it was over. "There goes my ready made breakfast", he was probably thinking, "Good bye love. Hello pop-tarts."
So that's how I got to my crappy apartment, chugging down cokes cause I don't have the guts for alcohol.

Answer 2

What on earth is happening to me. The cat has run off and I haven't seen her for nearly a week. The television is on the blink. My boyfriend has left me in the lurch. To cap it all, there's no sodding milk. Oh well, good bye love. Hello pop-tarts. What's the betting the toaster doesn't work either.

I stuck two tarts in the toaster and as I waited, I took a close look at myself in the mirror. Still not bad for twenty-five. The blonde hair still looks good and very few men have discovered that it's not my true colour. As I stroked the hair out of my early morning eyes, I spoke aloud 'You are the same colour as the Department of Motor Vehicles and you look like a flower'. A wilting daffodil I thought, but kept that one to myself.

I casually walked to the telephone when it rang as I was not expecting anyone, and I mean anyone, to phone at this hour in the morning. I might have guessed it was him. 'What do you want glamour-boy' I practically hissed down the phone. 'Yes, honey. The schmuck, who deserves to die, worries about you'. 'Well then' I hissed even more so 'do me a favour and do so, but make it a slow lingering death you pig'.

'Come on honey' he begged 'when you kissed me the other night, I knew that there was still a lot going on between us'. 'Don't flatter yourself lover boy' I answered with various thoughts running through my head. 'I'm so glad they still work. I haven't used them for kissing in such a long time, more like for wearing lipstick.......and whistling' the thought ran through my head while I waited for his apology. 'Can I see you tonight' he pleaded 'please...............'.

'I'll tell you what Steve' I drew out my answer making sure he heard and understood every word 'Can I email it to ya when I figure it out?'.

'If that is the way it has got to be, then so be it but I guarantee you that the plans I had would have made your eyes water with jealousy. Yes, honeybunch, I had definite plans'. As he spoke these words, they appeared genuine and I was curious as to what he really meant.

Well, would you believe it. He slammed down the phone before I could say another word. You know something, I'm like the dumb girl that doesn't get it. I've never been the dumb girl before. It ain't so great'.

Crap, the tarts are burnt and my coffee is gone cold. Why on earth couldn't I have been born a man....................

Answer 3

too hard for me right now...I don't have an hour spare