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The usuall fight but with something different this time. I'm 27yrs old. I have three children 7,6 & 4yrs old, i go to school and I run a business. I'm not always in the mood for sex and were intimate atleast twice a week. My husband says it's not enough and that It's not working out. He told me that I don't work for him no more. So I told him "what do you wanna do find someone else? And he said "yes that's exactly what I wanna do. So he left, I don't know where. So my son(7yrs) asked "where is my dad? And I said he wasn't coming back. He started to cry. Should I just call him and tell him to come home? Or should I just wait and see what move he makes first ( I don't know??????

2007-01-14 16:23:40 · 21 answers · asked by marisol h 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

21 answers

You should ave never told your children that he wasn't coming back. A simple "he's gone for a ride" would have been good enough. It doesn't make it right to bring the children in to any of this, unless it is necessary. You know if you love your man, atleast call him and tell him to come home to you. If you can do better for him then try. If can compromise on his end as well, that would be great too. I ofetne wonder why some people let something go when they claim they value it in their life. Just because there are problems and one wants to be gone doesn't mean you let them be "gone." Communicate with the other and show some desire to keep the relationship, unless you feel that it's not worth saving.

2007-01-14 16:34:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I had a similar incident with my husband a while back. The sexual issues may be, but it also sounds like there are even deeper wounds there. In all honesty, with three kids and jobs, I do not think that sex twice a week is a poor number.
I would wait at least a few hours or even until the next day (if he does not come home on his own by tomorrow) to try and reach him. Right now, I'd say he is being a bit bullish. However, he is upset and he wants you to really know that. To hear him. If you have had this conversation before and nothing changes, then he may feel it's a losing battle. Try and set aside time to sit down (without anger) and find out what exactly he wants. Is he still in-love with you? Are you with him, should you try counseling, etc. Not to scare you, but alot of men that head out with those exact intentions will carry them out if someone is willing. But you cannot have sex be a sorce of pressure in your life either. It should be pleasurable for both parties. Good luck.

2007-01-14 16:42:35 · answer #2 · answered by soozemusic 6 · 0 0

In the bible it says that the wife's body is not her own it is the husbands and vice versa. God already knew that we have those desires and that it is hard to do without them. but some wives should understand that you satisfy ur man not only with food,lol, and that is a desire tht he cant do without and you know that but u still make him and u dont realize how easy it is for him to get it elsewhere no matter how ugly or poor he is, someone always wants wut u got or could do better than u thats why u gotta stay on top of ur game, or husband,lol

but then again he seems imature, but you should review the rest of ur relationship, because if he really loved u he would understand so there has to be something more than just the sex,

then again some people need the affection and closeness of sex, and if they dont get it the start to feel detached and rejected, id have to get both sides to the story to accurately tell

2007-01-14 16:34:22 · answer #3 · answered by mssjj87 2 · 1 0

Call and asked him to come home and work on your problems. You should have never said anything about finding someone else. That made it sound like you didn't care. You should have never told your child his dad wasn't coming home. You need to tell dad how it is effecting the children. Even if the two of you can't work things out, you should never stand in the way of the relationship of children and their father.

2007-01-14 16:30:45 · answer #4 · answered by hillbilly_coon 3 · 0 0

i imagine for you through truth it truly is obvious that you're coping with discomfort. evaluate the prospect that your husband is gay and no count number if he's waiting to admit it or now no longer there is not any longer any genuine way that you'll be able to nicely be able to provide him what he desires and through no fault of your human being. you're a mind-blowing smart loving guy or female so why are you so hung up on a guy who treats you so badly, who's blatantly secretive and is by no skill going to provide you what you want. You deserve a lot more suitable constructive than that. Make a initiate on the instantaneous through eliminating his stuff. Flog it, donate it, chuck it. He after all chosen to maintain faraway from away it. ask your self why a undemanding married couple would really have a guy cave? you recognize the reply, so sparkling it our paint it pink and commence to maintain faraway from away your human being existence. you're dropping time on a guy you are able to favor to now no longer favor to take back.

2016-10-31 03:21:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Don't call him. Stand your ground and don't give in. It's his problem. It's hard on your children but its not cause of anythnig you did or didn't do. Don't allow anyone to force you to do anything that you don't want to do. Do what you feel is right for you and your family. My mom was forced to go back to my father which only made things ten times worse and people ended up getting hurt.

2007-01-14 18:16:08 · answer #6 · answered by JourneyToTheHeart 2 · 0 0

the same thing happened to me this past august. Basically my husband said he didn't want to be with me anymore and he left and moved into a hotel. As much as I hated him for doing that to me, I let him know that I was willing to talk about it whenever he was ready to. I would at least let him know that, if not for you, than for your kids sake. If you both really want to make it work you can and will. But if your heart is no longer in it, than it's better that you both move on.

2007-01-14 16:40:37 · answer #7 · answered by Jem 6 · 0 0

If you get back with him for your kids, you would be unfair to yourself as well as your kids. To make it work both of you have to sit and talk but if you call him because of your kids the problem you have still remains only difference it that your kids are happy to have daddy home. How will you fix what's broken if you give in?

2007-01-14 16:36:41 · answer #8 · answered by Mary S 1 · 0 0

You and your husband need to talk and work things out, or get a divorce, because if he is going to be cheating on you and you just stand by and let it happen eventually you will have a messy divorce and really mess up your kids. If you talk things out and work on things and compromise maybe things will get better. Or just talk things out and get divorced before things get out of hand. Don't tell your kids that their dad isn't coming back unless you're sure of it. Tell them he'll be back later.

2007-01-14 16:32:46 · answer #9 · answered by Chulis 3 · 0 0

It was his choice to leave. You didn't kick him out. I dont see how calling him is going to fix anything. This is what he wants. I would wait and see if he calls you. If he wants to come back then you both need to get some outside help. Until then start making plans for yourself and the kids. What if he doesn't want to come back? Prepare yourself...

2007-01-14 16:39:30 · answer #10 · answered by autumn 3 · 0 0

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