Okay, my son is 11 now, but...when he was born, my mother-in-law told me that if we didn't have him christened in a catholic church, he wasn't going to heaven. This issue has come up with her again. I'm about to lose it! I swear. Hearing it the first time, when he was just an infant was bad enough. She actually bought a christening gown for him and keeps it under her bed - still! After 11 years, she still has the gown under her bed, in a box. My husband has just gotten to the point where he won't talk to her anymore when things like this happen. I don't know what else to do! I've tried to explain to her that I'm not catholic, and her son isn't either. She's spanish, from Spain, and VERY hard-headed.
2007-01-14 16:11:06 · 9 answers · asked by Beth 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He doesn't have to be christened to have faith. We aren't any particular denomination. When we he was born, we had him dedicated at my parents' church. The church I grew up attending. We invited her to attend this ceremony and she freaked out! She told me that "God won't recognize what you've done." Seriously, I've said everything I can say to her without going overboard.
2007-01-14 16:22:10 · update #1
Okay, one more detail...we don't go to church anymore. We have and still do talk to our kids about religion, and we don't lead lives that are less favorable, but we just don't agree with any of the churches we've ever visited. My mother-in-law says that I'm the reason her son and grandchildren will never see her in heaven. This woman takes her catholicism way too far...in my opinion. I haven't said that to her, yet. I'm getting to that point! That's what I'm trying to avoid.
2007-01-14 16:25:28 · update #2
Yes, we are both Christians. I have been since I was 8 years old. My husband was a Catholic when I met him. I never asked him to leave the Catholic church...it was his choice. I would never tell anyone that what they believe is wrong. I will give my opinion, IF ASKED, but NEVER tell someone that what they believe is wrong. It's not my place!
2007-01-14 16:30:23 · update #3
My mother-in-law isn't sad that my son "won't go to heaven" in her eyes. She has never liked me. From day one, when she found out her son was marrying a woman that isn't catholic, she did her best to try to talk him out of it. All that did was disinvite her to the wedding. Not by my choice, either. My husband and I have always talked everything through, very thoroughly, and made a decision together. I guess I just have to go with the majority here and tell her that it's really none of her concern.
2007-01-14 17:09:13 · update #4
Don't worry about it too much. I gave birth to my son in a Catholic hospital. I was born into a Catholic family but didn't stick with it. A priest came to talk to me in the hospital after I had given birth. When he found out my husband and I were NOT married in the CATHOLIC church he told me God did NOT recognize my marriage. Yeah right!
2007-01-14 17:22:14 · answer #1 · answered by tooyoung2bagrannybabe 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know what you are going through. I married a Catholic guy and he left the church in favor of the truth of the bible.
My mother in law told he I was sending her sons soal to hell.
Its 25 years later and although she has softened a bit on the insults, she still believes the pope is Gods voice box amongst other things.
Honestly, there is nothing you can do. We ended staying away from her quite a bit, and she had very little to do with our children once she figured out they had no interest in the Catholic church.
Whatever you do, do not give into her will, It will not make her happy, she will move on to the next requirement, such as confirmation and schooling and you will never hear the end of what she wants you to do.
One thing that has worked to a small extent, is inviting her to your own church activities, so that she can see the body of Christ as it should be, instead of steeped in repitition and tradition. Real people that care about the others around them more than how many hail mary's they can repeat by heart.
2007-01-14 16:22:07 · answer #2 · answered by cindy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ask her to 'show' you in the bible where it says 'ONLY' catholics will go to heaven..
And 'you' can tell her that the bible says (jesus own words)
"that whosoever believeth in me 'SHALL' have everlasting life"!
There is 'NEVER any' mention that someone has to be a Catholic, or that they should be christened as a baby.
Do a little research in the bible and 'give' her all that you find.
If this doesn't work I'd really try avoiding her as best you can.
Her demands and attitude can/will have a negative effect on your kids if she keeps causing so much tension about faith, and
going to heaven. Your kids 'will' inevitably question "what IS the
truth"? because your mother-in-law is adding poison to their
thoughts. I am SSOooo glad your husband is standing steadfast in this, as he 'is' doing the right thing!!
It may actually be that he will have to break ties with his mother 'IF' she continues to stir up strife..
Remember what the bible says, "we are to avoid those who try to cause devision", and thats what she is trying to do..
2007-01-14 17:05:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
WOW sounds as if she needs to read the Bible and not the catholic bible. The reason she is pushing this is catholics believe that if a child is not "christened" they will not go to heaven if they pass which is a HUDGE lie. I would tell her to butt out of my business(of course do it in a nice way) and let her know you don't appreciate her pushing her religious belief on you or your family. If she continues then warn her that she will not be permitted to see her g-son or family if she continues. Be ready to back up your words!
2007-01-14 16:19:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
May I ask why you took him to your parents church instead of hers? Was it because it was you family? I feel bad for her in away. My grandmother was a devout Catholic & my uncle(her son & his wife) were atheists, but I always thought that it would have been nice for them to do it out of respect. I would have for my mother in law. Now that my grandma's gone my uncle regrets it so much. You have to understand coming from where she stands she's probably very frightened & truly believes that her grandson won't go to Heaven, so is there anything else that will ease her mind? She might be hard headed but she probably really feels scared for your son & also hurt that you took your son to your parents church. If she's good to you & your son, please try & work something out, even if it's phony on your part. Good luck
2007-01-14 16:55:26 · answer #5 · answered by gitsliveon24 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What is so bad about having him christened?
Surely you want him to have some kind of spiritual upbringing and some kind of faith?
If you dont want him to be a Catholic , then what about another religion?
Also if neither of you ar Catholic then, you wont be able to have him done as a catholic, unless one of you convert.
2007-01-14 16:19:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Remind her that he is YOUR child. How rude for a grand mopther to say he is not going to heaven. You do have to tell her nicely that 11 years is enough and you want to hear no more about it.
2007-01-14 18:06:00 · answer #7 · answered by -------- 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all your mother in law is wrong in saying this.... Are you a Christian? This is totally up to you and your husband and not up to her.
2007-01-14 16:27:54 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to tell her anything. Next time she brings up the subject, put up your hand and tell her to talk into it.
2007-01-14 21:15:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋