pregnancy,boyfriend,feeling like shi-t.?

Question

I'm 2 months pregnant, my boyfriend feels some kind of a way about me getting an abortion, he is not ready to be a father, which is understandable. He is against abortion but like i said, hes not ready. Fatigue is killing me right now, i can never go out and be happy or feel good. What should i do about my boyfriend wanting the abortion, im TOTALLY REPULSED by abortion and im totally AGAINST it, He said no matter what its my decision and that whatever i choose hell back me up and support me, but im so confused on what to do, help?

Answer 1

If you're against abortion then I don't understand what you're confused about. You don't want one -- so there doesn't seem to be a problem. I do suggest going to counseling to get some help because it sounds like you're pregnant and the father is not going to be there.

Answer 2

This is a hard thing to be going through. But you have to think of the big picture. A baby will absolutely, totally change your life, probably for the better. If you feel that you are not ready and since you are against abortion- there is always adoption. That way you will know that your baby will go to a good home (not saying that yours won't be). I really feel for you.

I had a baby almost a year ago. The father was not apart of any of it. I didn't know what I should do. Should I have an abortion, should I keep it? I just didn't know. And I too felt horrible. But a good friend told me, "most people are never truly ready to have a baby. It's something that just happens." Her words made up my mind. I was very nervous about telling my parents but I kept him. And I am so glad I did, because he is the best thing in my life. But you have to do what is right for you. But if you do get an abortion, you will have to live with your choice for the rest of your life. I'm pro choice, but I just want you to know that you have options. Maybe you should talk to someone, like go to planned parenthood.

The fatigue, the morning sickness, and whatever else- these things are temporary- they will not last for long. You're lucky that your boyfriend will be there for you, no matter what.

Good luck in your decision. This will not be the end of the world, I promise, things will get better.

Answer 3

You boyfriend is right it is your decision, cause you will be the one that is having the baby.. if you are against abortion, and don't want to keep the child well there are always people who can not have child that would love to have the child. Your boyfriend sounds like he is a good guy, cause he suppost what ever you decide, and he don't have to be a 24\7 father, let him get use to this idea, the closer you get to having the child the more excited he may become. I don't know if i have ever seen a guy that was ready to be a father, full time or part time. But in the end they do become one. If you are repulsed by the thought of having an abortion then pleace do not have one, cause in the end it will make you hate your self and your boyfriend. Then things between you two will not work at at all. But if that is not enough, then go and talk with a therapist or an ob doctor, or nurse, and let them talk to you about what an important decision this can be in your life, cause it can be, it can make you dislike yourself for the rest of your life if you don't want to do it, and you do, and it can give you a very neg outlook on men for the rest of your life too.
So be really careful before you decide to get an abortion, when you don't want to get one. There are other things that you can do.

Answer 4

Hunny i know exactly how you feel. I to hate abortions more than anything and a few years ago i was in the same position as you are now. When i told my boyfriend he wanted me to get an abortion because he was not ready to be a father. Its a very hard decision to make but you need to decide what is best for the THREE of you. Could you really live with yourself if you got rid of the baby??? It also depends on how old you are and if you have the money and all that kind of stuff. At least he will support your decision. When this was happening to me, unfortunately i didn't get to make that decision as i miscarried. I was very upset by the whole thing, and i know personally now that i could not have got rid of the child. You both need to sit down again and have another chat about what you both really want. Good Luck and i really do hope that it all works out for you.

Answer 5

The choice is yours alone. Pregnancy is hard enough. If you do not want an abortion and are not sure whether you want the child, maybe consider adoption. There are wonderful people out there and you get to interview them and choose who would be best for them. My oldest brother was adopted at 1 week old and I am so glad his mother made that decision. I love that mother for it as well. If you choose to keep your child then that is great as well. If you do not want to have an abortion go with your heart. If you do not want to give him/her up for adoption then you will learn with each day with that child. It will not be easy but if you love that child and do the best to provide then it can be well worth it. I cannot tell you the choice you should make, but I will tell you I know whatever the decision you will have done what is right for you and those involved.

Answer 6

If you are both against abortion then don't do it... I don't understand the dilemma. Have the baby, and look into adoption. I'm sorry you are tired and cant go out but so are a lot of other pregnant mothers out there. I understand you both may not be ready for a baby, but you are pregnant and have to deal with. Good Luck and remember this happened for a reason and you'll be OK!

Answer 7

Do not have an abortion or not have one because of what someone here says. Think it through. Are you ready and do you want to be a mother. Then have the child. If not then choose either abortion or adoption. Abortion will be easier and faster, but do it only if you aren't going to regret it. Its your choice. Think about what you really want and what you will be happy with later on.

Answer 8

You know the best piece of advice I was ever given? If you're ever faced with a choice between your man and your child, always choose your child, because no real man would ever ask you to choose.
My boyfriend was petrified when I fell pregnant with our first child - he even talked about abortion, but like you I felt very strongly about it and was prepared to show my boyfriend the door if he wasn't willing to accept that I was having this baby.
I know it's so damn hard, but try not to work yourself up about it. If he doesn't understand how you feel about this, then you're only going to disagree on raising your child, so maybe make the decision now that if he's not going to co-operate, he's not worth it.
At 8 weeks things are still up in the air, so be careful with yourself and like I said, don't stress, you don't want this to all turn to crap now.
Get lots of sleep and talk with a trusted friend, especially if you have friends with kids, and decide what's going to be best for you and YOUR child ( you are the one who's giving this baby life).
By the way, my boyfriend did eventually see the light and we have been married now for 4 years and have a 6 year old son and 3 year old daughter.
Good luck and best wishes :)

Answer 9

Sounds to me you've answered your own question within your heart:

Im TOTALLY REPULSED by abortion and im totally AGAINST it, He said no matter what its my decision and that whatever i choose hell back me up and support me.

It may take time to adjust but it will be worth the risk....and either way things happen for a reason and this child chose both of you...regardless of the right age, timing or circumstances.

Answer 10

Do what YOU want to do. This is your body, your baby. Like you said, he is your boyfriend....not your husband, fiance, etc. If he isnt ready to be a father (which really means he just doesnt want to grow up and take responsibility for his actions) you arent going to want him around long anyway. If you want to know what I would do if I were in your shoes, I would have the baby, raise it on my own after the father leaves you six months pregnant. I have been there, sweetheart. And now I have two beautiful little boys. I hope you make a decision you can live with for the rest of your life. God bless.

Answer 11

You have two options. 1. Keep the baby and hope that your boyfriend comes around and wants the baby and stays with you to really support you or 2. Adoption. There is a thing called open adoption. You can actually help pick out the parents that will adopt your baby and with open adoption you can visit the baby when you want. At least this way you know your child will have a good home and you can keep tabs on them.